My bind of Twenty-Two Cards has reached @sits-bound so now I can post this! The cover art, typeset, and bind is by me. It also features art by others (@appleslightning, @creeeee, and @littlewinnow) in the typeset.

This was so fun to make and now I just have to finish the author copy (and a special lil gift for @arminaa8 💜)

More pics!

The htv was this neat black-to-rainbow light shifting thing, and the cover art was inspired by the movie poster for the 80s cop movie 48 Hours.

Oh, I will ruin you.

because in year 4 Harry gets gifted a sweater with a dragon on it, and it's not playing in Draco's favour

eighth year my beloved

thinking about @xiaq's Draco from Way Down We Go

If a girl feels uncomfortable hanging out with you alone, and you get so offended by that, it makes you angry, she probably made the right choice.

I know I’ve reblogged this recently but still so spot the fuck on.

In general if a dude gets angry by you declining an invitation you made the right choice to say no

If they get angry when you say “no” to hanging out with them, what else are they going to get angry about you saying “no” to?

^^ Slight side note: When I was online dating I used to do what so many of us do; set up a safety check with a friend. I used to be really slick about it; take a restroom break or quietly/subtle check and answer a text. Then I realized what a good marker it was to check if I wanted to actually be on this date at all. So at whatever time check in was supposed to be, I would pull out my phone and say “sorry, I just have to let my friend know I’m good”. If someone was vaguely offended, I might stay depending on the convo we had after. If someone was SUPER offended, I said “this is exactly why. Thanks for meeting me, I’ve got to go.”  This happened three times I can remember and the first time my voice was shaking so bad as I said it because, you know. You never know what their response is going to be and he was so aggressively angry I was ending the date “over that”. 

The person I ended up with? “Ah, yay-I’m-not-murdered check. Good plan.” Then when my phone was buzzing later (because we ended up on a five hour date on a Monday night) he goes “you should probably let them know you’re still alive. Do you have to go?” 

 *No woman I was ever on a date with was mad about this. Not one. 

This is just like testing the breaks before driving an unfamiliar car guys, and you do NOT drive a car with no breaks. If they can’t handle “no,” it’s not safe for you to say, “yes,” and you need to gtfo of there so you don’t get run over.

Also, OP I love your url, it is perfect for this post.

Posted wips for the new little comic of mine! Because Harry has been gifted a sweater with a dragon on it in year 4 and it’s absolutely not playing in Draco’s favour🥲

full wips are on my patreon

+ garters

counterclaim by twnkwlf

6k words | explicit | drarry tags: lawyer draco malfoy, daddy kink, divorce, marriage

read on ao3

Married drarry where every time Draco eats a chocolate frog and gets Harry on the card, he sticks it on the fridge. They have 27

an illusion (Grimmauld Roommates AU)

previous part

part 1, part 2, part 3

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If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.

Can someone translate this?

Don’t try to guilt people by saying “I’m sorry I fucking suck.” “I’m sorry I’m just the worst and I should die” Because thats not an apology, thats trying to guilt the other person into dropping the subject.

Yup.  That’s called Weaponized Remorse.  Basically, you’re avoiding accountability by blowing up a big Feelings Bomb at the person you hurt and going “let’s not focus on what I did or what I should do to make amends, let’s focus on how awful I feel about it all, and how you should make me feel better.”

It’s really easy to accidentally learn to apologize like this, especially when you have mental health issues that mean you genuinely feel that way about yourself. You aren’t a bad person if this has become a habit, but you can help other people AND yourself by apologizing differently!

Try to focus on your actions rather than your traits:

E.g. “I’m sorry I keep ghosting you, I’m shit at friendships” –> “I’m sorry I keep ghosting you, I’m really struggling to keep up with my friends right now”

Then, if you can, turn the conversation back to the other person - you’re apologising because their feelings matter to you, so show that.

E.g. “I don’t mean to - our friendship means a lit to me, and I know it must make it seem like I don’t care.”

This gives the other person an opportunity to express their own experience so you can talk it over more if they want to, without skipping ahead to reassuring you that the relationship isn’t broken.

If you read the descriptions above and started feeling guilty, it’s fixable! And if you want, you can even apply your new apology skills to apologising for an old apology style

This is something abusers can instill in their victims, also. Sometimes an abuser wont let up until they know you feel awful, shitty, stupid, worthless. and it becomes a habit to tell someone “im sorry im such a fucking loser i dont deserve etc, etc” so they know that you have paid the emotional toll for what you said or did.

Here’s the kicker, though- normal people dont want you to beat yourself up like that when you apologize. I know it feels like the line between “im sorry, I screwed up and I feel terrible about how I hurt you” and “i’m such a worthless piece of shit, you dont deserve to be around me” seems nearly invisible, but if someone requires you to verbally self-flagellate in order for a fight to be over, you really need to step back and take a look at the relationship between you two.

^^^^ great addition. Sometimes weaponized remorse is manipulative, sometimes it’s a survival strategy. Never good or healthy, but worth acknowledging.

for @k-kizkhalifa ✧˖°.