LumaTot

recently my elderly shattered-up phone started letting me charge it to 107% which I've been using to get let's just say a little bit extra out of it on long days

added benefit that this makes it crazy warm and soft so I use it to warm up my coat when it's cold outside

to be honest with you it's swollen as fuck and that's why I'm rocking with it

Swollen batteries are incendiary explosives.

this one's just a phone

if it was a bomb and not a phone I couldn't make a call on it, but I can because it's a phone, although it will be to the fun department instead of the fire department

respectfully, ma'am, phone and bomb are not mutually exclusive descriptors

I'm not gatekeeping I'm just speaking from my presently lived experience

When you start speaking from your formally lived experience, be sure to let us know!

I already live every day with undue formality and noble grace

I'm not a technician so I don't really see how this applies to me

I genuinely can't tell if you're being stupid on purpose

when you feel that way it's a sign that I'm being smart

OP your phone is literally about to explode.

we've been over this, it's just puffy and I poke it with twigs when it gets too hot

my mental health is splendid and my phone is fantastic why in the world would I kill myself

while YOURE being “employed” and making “money” IM reading yaoi. get on my level

What if im employed but ALSO reading yuri?

you are now above my level

i love this server i want to live here

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

Wtf

When Russia makes this post illegal

A two-part story

archers gloves vs digital artist gloves being opposite of one another

Much like how archers and digital artists are mortal enemies

Behold, the digital artchery glove!

….but Wait…

…….!!!

FUCKA YOUUU!!!!!

Ok but wgat if we held hands…..

and we both had carpal tunnel syndrome 😳

not carpal tunnel syndrome 😫

this website really has ruined me… i didnt catch the G, so i spent like 4 minutes scouring the second pic for thee Lucky Luciano 😭

hand in unglovable hand

Getting into a car accident is just like the Wizard of Oz. You’re suddenly thrown into a wild situation with potential casualties and you have to go talk to one of the most powerful people in all the land (insurance guy) to get your stuff back. Usually you’re joined by someone without a brain (a cop), someone without a heart (a cop), and someone without courage (a cop)

Lovely sentiment but the way it’s worded sounds like this dude got fucking killed during a little league game

Callie for your soul

It’s so crazy that Luke Skywalker thought his dad was just some freighter pilot and yet also claimed to be a podracing fan how did he not think to look at the records and see his dad was the only human to ever win the Boonta Eve Classic the legend who defeated the great Sebulba #FakeFan

Luke: Hey this pod racer who was the only human to win the Boonta Eve Classic has the same last name as me.

Uncle Owen: he's your third cousin stop asking questions don't look into what he did after that

crumb comics dump

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you

Jesus said this. Matthew 6:24

jesus said this

i love reddit so fucking much

stop eating gruel with the fools and come eat a leek with a freak

this post got me laid

Marvel Rivals devs putting out an update to give like half the male cast slightly larger asses is hilarious to me. They added Emma “Snowbunny Thighs” Frost and were like “okay hold on, we’re giving way too much ass to the ladies.” But instead of making them smaller, they just gave the guys bigger asses to make up for it a lil.

They’re really going over every single thing that Overwatch did to piss off their playerbase and doing the opposite. I’m just imagining a big board room

“Sir, in an effort to make the game seem more child friendly, Overwatch made the butts of many of its female characters smaller. They also changed one of the victory poses of Tracer to be less overtly sexual.”

“Fools… make the men’s asses larger to match!”

Also they included blank models of all the characters in the game files for data miners to find. Those models were brushed up and used to make sfm porn like a week and a half after the game dropped. I hear it said a lot that Overwatch kind of owes its success to porn and how fuckable its characters are. But Overwatch fought tooth and nail to be family friendly and shake that reputation. Marvel Rivals is going the opposite way and purposefully capitalizing on it. It’s incredible to watch.