Professional Dragon Enthusiast

Absolutely amazing how AO3 is a part of the internet that doesn't sneak in any ads and doesn't have an algorithm and doesn't watch you or record how much time you spend looking at each fic or whatever. It's just right there to use for free. Legend

The internet was like this. This was the normal.

Me: aww, look at the baby...

Me two seconds later:THAT IS A DIFFERENT BABY

[video transcript: a video of a brown tabby kitten playing with a jug. the kitten slides into the jug, and then a different, black kitten pops its head out. a watermark at the bottom of the video reads “@ Kitten_Faces” end transcript]

Jug of transmewtation

jug full of soot

we do need to revisit the wording of "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because i don't think it clearly enough conveys that it's more that you can't simultaneously retain a cake and also get to consume it (which would render you cakeless). for years i was like But why not....it's my cake....?

this fucking problem is how they caught the unabomber

hey you should uh. elaborate. for my own personal satisfaction

the unabomber was pedantic about idiomatic phrases like "have your cake and eat it too" and rephrased it to "eat your cake and have it too" (which to be very fair makes sense). fast forward to when he starts writing manifestos. he uses the phrase word for word in his pedantic style and his brother (who has been keeping his eyes on the unabomber shit for obvious reasons) notices the phrase and is like "oh fuck that's my fucking brother no one else fucking says that" and calls in an FBI tip

Well you can't deliberately speak in a way nobody else does and also stay anonymous you know. Can't eat your cake and have it too.

I hope this email just barely grazes your cheek

I hope this email gets stopped by the bible you keep in your breast pocket

I hope this email lands in your foxhole but doesn't go off

I didn’t see this link in the reblogs but I love Mercury and she has a book out called “Safe & Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair”. She is one of those beautiful souls who love to teach people new skills with compassion and joy, instead of putting down others for not having knowledge about (what others may consider basic home repairs and DIY.

I love this lady. She's like a friendly big sister here to show you how to do stuff.

This is like unearthing an ancient artifact from a forgotten civilization

The civilization in question is still here and you live in it

you can only reblog this today

Horrible fantasy idea:

Every time the royal firstborn happens to be twins, the dispute of which one is the one who is the rightful heir to the throne is settled by division of labour: One of them is to become the future queen/king, and the other one is to become the royal jester. One can do whatever they want but must be very careful with what they say, the other can say whatever they want but must be very careful with what they do.

It is not exactly uncommon for the two to fight over which one gets to be the jester. But in the occasion when they agree to take turns on which one sits on the throne and which one at the foot of it (in disguise of course), it's considered polite to at least pretend to not notice the ruse.

Cuddling. don’t mind the claws of the beast

This is what this photo looks like. To me

genuinely love that when ppl draw their hawke they will add the face blood smear regardless of whether they have it in the game. whos this stranger im looking at? *adds a red stripe across the nose* of course thats my friend Firstname Hawke from dragon age 2

monumental difference

Love that his reaction to being pranked was to pull the exact same prank on his buddy

It's a good prank when the person you pranked immediately wants in on it, and it doesn't cause any harm.

Anyone who has worked a real job knows the look of someone standing there looking at something that's gonna fuck up their afternoon

i could recognize this expression, this stance, the strain in the voice over the phone from a hundred yards away

and if you think that's not a fair example because firefighters are used to showing up to stuff that fucks up a whole afternoon, consider the full picture

Some useful chaperone info! I genuinely had no idea it's basically a sideways hood haha. Now its' structure finally makes sense.