@madtechnomage / madtechnomage.tumblr.com
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Hello new followers. You all seem to be real and not bots. I’m not sure why you have all decided to follow me, but thank you. I don’t post a lot, just reblog. I however do go hunting through the tags to find the most interesting takes from the things my mutuals have posted before me.
So in conclusion….
A cyanometer is a device used to measure the intensity of blue in the sky, often used in meteorology and atmospheric studies. It typically consists of a series of blue color patches or a color gradient, allowing the user to compare the sky’s color to these reference colors.
Do you like the wheel of the sky
Well I like that it doesn't take 5 minutes to scroll past.
I have a degree in meteorology and I remember a professor telling us that cyanometers are kinda obsolete, since we have technology to measure the refration and scattering in the sky more accurately. Which's good for science I guess, but less fun.
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
“Slutantions” has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blue”
the subject line was “OW”
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
It’s even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”
i was very sick over new years and one day i woke up to find i had emailed my manager in the middle of the night:
she said it was the most beautiful sick email she’s ever gotten
Once sent a relatively coherent email that started with:
“So I’m writing this from a hospital bed, right…”
This list was created consulting Year in Reviews, Fanlore articles, user feedback, vintage pinterest posts, and my own knowledge. Don't worry about not seeing the shows in their entirety, vote based on your judgement. Enjoy!
I'm sorry, professor, I consider publishing your course a day late, having a mandatory live zoom meeting during business hours to stay enrolled for an asynchronous class, and requiring students to use a $60 ***pdf*** that you wrote as their textbook to be exceptionally unprofessional and since I've still got 14 days to get a refund I'm totally not paying $150 to take your class.
Also, for all the newbie professors out there: a syllabus is not just a greeting and a list of assignments. If you haven't given your students AT LEAST your office hours, your late work policy, and your preferred method of being contacted, then you have not given your students a syllabus it's just sparkling announcements.
But really. Sir. SIR. You teach Speech 100. This is one of the most basic classes with like, 20 of the most widely available accepted textbooks and you want me to pay sixty dollars for a pdf of a book that you rewrite every semester so that there are no previous editions?
Buddy this is interpersonal communication, not introductory rhetoric. Why is one of your *four* total assignments about Socrates?
Maybe it's the fact that I've taken Spch 100 interpersonal communication three times already, maybe it's the fact that I grew up with somebody who taught Spch 100 interpersonal communication from 1981 to 2018, but buddy what the fuck are you doing?
"Some of our lectures will only be available for 24 hours so it is up to you to stay on top of it."
Friend, you are teaching an asynchronous online 100-level class at a community college during a pandemic. Get off your high horse, a third of your students are probably parents. There is no reason whatsoever to limit access to course materials to 24 hours unless you are doing it to be a controlling asshole.
Also YOU published your class a day and a half late! You don't get to publish your class late with an incomplete syllabus and tell students to "stay on top of it." Especially not since that means that people have two fewer days to buy your PDF textbook and only one full day to prepare for your mandatory 1pm on a Tuesday zoom meeting!
Why do you require me to have access to a printer for an online class? Oh yeah it's because you expect me to print out and draw on sections of your $60 ebook.
SIR. No thank you.
Kids, new students: this is a level of bullshit and disorganization from a professor that you do not have to put up with. This is a neatly ordered series of red flags that say "this professor is going to be absolutely unbearable."
Also *any* humanities class where your whole grade is 4 assignments should get serious side-eye. You should be able to pass most 100 level humanities classes by just turning in weekly assignments. 4 assignments means that by the time you figure out how the professor grades you're probably close to halfway through the class. Look for classes that require weekly participation as a major chunk of the grade because that way, even if you fuck up a project in a major way, just showing up can save your ass.
Me the first time I was in college: this isn't fair, but I guess these are the hoops I gotta jump through.
Me now: absolutely not. I am too old, too experienced, and my ass is too fat to fit through that hoop. Kid, you are an ADJUNCT, what the hell do you think you're doing?
One of the stated goals of the first assignment isn't "assess understanding of the subject" or "introduce basic concepts" it is "prove access to course materials, such as the textbook."
Friend. You are supposed to have global learning outcomes for your students. If your goal is "teach students how to pass MY" class and not "teach students the basics of interpersonal communication" you are a bad teacher.
Okay everyone get out your bingo cards because the professor just managed to get his class halfway updated and here's what I've found:
And just for shits and giggles, the first assignment is due one month into the semester so you'll have no idea what his grading style is until well past the add/drop date and that assignment is the only one that requires the $60 pdf textbook that he wrote. This is HIS description of that assignment:
Purpose – To check that the student has completed initial tasks; included, but not limited to: 1. Having access to the textbook. 2. Demonstrating that the student has interacted with the text. 3. Reading and understanding the text.
Buddy.
No.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Also the midterm and final were scheduled for a one-hour slot on weekdays in spite of, again, being an asynchronous course.
So I've already dropped it (good riddance) but I probably WILL contact the dean and say "hey so I signed up for this asynchronous course because I am a returning student with a full-time job and your professor decided on his own that he was going to schedule 1pm zoom times and 1pm exams for all his async students, which is probably going to cause problems for other students who are enrolled because I'd guess that at least some of them have classes that are SCHEDULED for T/TH 1pm class meetings oh and also just FYI your boy was 28 hours late on publishing his class and didn't get his syllabus up until 34 hours after he was supposed to so I'm not really sure his time management skills are up to teaching async classes and ADDITIONALLY he noted that he would only make the lecture materials available for 24 hours and then did not list when those lectures were scheduled in his syllabus so it would be very easy for busy students to miss lectures because he didn't schedule them but also won't be leaving the materials available. So. You know. Someone should probably check on that."
His score on ratemyprofessor is 1.8 and even the two people who gave him a 4 say "I failed the final because he hadn't taught us any of that information or put any of those fields of study on his final exam study guide."
Also, new students, you must learn the proper way to complain to the dean.
Every department has That One Fucking Asshole who everyone wants to see gone but students tend to complain about personalities or "why is my speech teacher assigning an economic ethics paper published by a conservative think-tank funded by the Waltons" and that is not how it's done. The administration may agree that he's an asshole, but "he's an asshole" isn't a good enough reason not to renew someone's contract and go through the time and effort to bring in a new hire.
So you get them on bureaucratic shit. "Published his course late," "did not provide office hours," "did not provide a way to communicate and did not respond to calls, emails, or canvas messages," "set required meeting times for asynchronous courses" - THIS is the shit that the administration can pin a professor to the wall on because it isn't student said vs. Professor said.
Like, look, you are important and your feelings and thoughts matter, but the administration knows there will always be someone who is offended about something innocuous who doesn't know how school works and they're not going to write up a professor because of how a student thinks the class should be run. But they WILL write up and add observations for a professor who doesn't run a classroom the way that the school policy says a class should be run.
It's getting to be school time again, and some of you will have garbage professors.
You're paying for this, do not accept this kind of behavior. Read and re-read the last part from @ms-demeanor because complaining effectively is key to stopping this bullshit.
If you are stuck with a professor that is administering thier class well but being hostile, belittling students, not making reasonable accommodations or otherwise being a jackass, write down specific incidents (what was said to who where and when, if possible, take screenshots or make recordings of class), and look up your school's nondiscrimination policies, classroom safety standards and inclusivity goals. It's way more effective to say "on September 3rd professor last name said "(fucking nonsense here)" to student Y, which is a clear violation of classroom safety rule (Cite specific rule) and stated inclusivity goal "(goal here)" and I want to know what administrative actions I can expect to see while you handle this." Than it is to say "hey prof lastname's been really mean/a bigot in class"
The admin almost certainly wants to fire this asshole too. Give them the legal ammo they need.
Do you know how badly you have to fuck up for this to happen
Japan and South Korea are seeking to import semiconductor raw materials from China, and China is also interested in purchasing chip products from Japan and South Korea, the account, Yuyuan Tantian, said in a post on Weibo.
All three sides agreed to strengthen supply chain cooperation and engage in more dialogue on export controls, the post said.
During Sunday's meeting, the countries' trade ministers agreed to "closely cooperate for comprehensive and high-level" talks on a South Korea-Japan-China free trade agreement deal to promote "regional and global trade", according to a statement released after the meeting.
Fuck, are you just a European and you're highly emotionally invested in what's going on?
Well good news, help spread the news. Special elections April 1st and this is going to help break down the narrow majority Republicans hold on Congress.
Florida has two congressional seats up for election April 1st, and Wisconsin has a highly televised race for their supreme court Court that Elon Musk has invested millions into.
If you're Floridian, check to see if you're eligible to vote in either of the elections listed here.
If you're a Wisconsinite, for some ungodly reasons about half of your election information is buried in Google and hidden amongst government websites but, find your polling place now.
March 31st is Trans Day of Visibility! Let's enjoy this punny comic while also celebrating the trans community!
my mum has severe knee problems and needs a replacement. Today she was told she's too fat to be operated on and the knee specialist suggested she gets a gastric band - which also involves surgery. So my mum was like first of all you didn't read my file because it explains that I'm not fat because I eat too much second of all you said it's impossible for me to get surgery and then suggested I get a surgery about it? He then asked her her weight and height, didn't believe her answer, and made her prove it to him because she "looks fatter than that". So she was like so you also just entirely based this on looks instead of actual numbers?
My mom went through something similar. She needed a knee replacement and her doctor wouldn’t okay it until she lost weight, which was difficult given the whole knee problem preventing her from walking thing. He told her she was too dangerous to operate on and that there were just too many risks.
My mom tried to lose weight in vain for months before she finally gave into my begging her to get a second opinion. The first doctor she saw next scheduled her for surgery the same day she met him. When my mom asked about the risk of operating on her he told her that there was some minor risks for complication and that all she would need to do to alleviate the risk was spend an extra night in the hospital so that they could keep a look out for any complications.
There were zero. There were also zero complications when she had her other knee done, her hip replaced and her gallbladder removed.
Almost like the first doctor was entirely full of shit and just trying to coerce his patient to lose weight by scaring her for fucking nothing, even when she was living day to day in excruciating pain and desperately needed a surgery.
riding the trolley out of omelas because i'm a little too shaken to walk rn and i just heard this weird thump from the tracks. probably nothing
#they arrested the trolley driver and the guy in charge of track switching #and i hear they're both being offered some kind of plea deal if they agree to testify against the other person
awarding this the first good riff on this post award. thank you tumblr user anyagobsin. this is the first good riff anyone's had on this post.
Antibacterial soap??? For your body???
I wash my wretched walking corpse with bleach and formaldehyde to prevent bacterial accumulation
You are an inspiration to us all
if you’ve had a significant surgery you’ve probably been told to shower with antibacterial soap, and they literally tell you not to use it regularly because it FUCKS your microbiome. you can tell, too- your skin feels fucking disgusting and weirdly sick for days afterwards
to specify: antiseptic hand soap can be fine if it's just your hands because you use those to touch everything in the world and then eat with em. helps cut down on the amount of germs and viruses and harmful bacteria you transfer into your mouth.
the rest of your skin can benefit from washing with soap and warm water, but antibacterial soap used as a regular cleanser can take it too far. you're actually supposed to have bacteria on you. your microbiota is a healthy and helpful part of your immune system. going scorched earth full sterilization on skin can make it dryer, weaker, and sicker.
The number of people who think it’s normal to use a bar soap + body wash + antibacterial wash + body scrub + “good smelling body wash” with a fucking loofah or wtv every. Single. Day and then lather on two different moisturisers and an oil on top??? Ever stopped to consider the fact that maybe u wouldn’t need all that if u didn’t regularly skin yourself??
Since regular soap & washing your hands properly is enough to protect you from covid-19, what kind of eldritch horror bacteria do they think they're killing with that hardcore 15 step full-body hygiene routine?
The cleantok girlies are fighting viruses that haven't even evolved yet (I say yet because they're working on it).
legally blonde from warner’s perspective is so funny
One day you’re dating this gorgeous but ditsy girl but your family pressures you to break up with her once you go to harvard so you do and it ends in tears but whatever.
Next thing you know, she’s at Harvard, dressed in entirely different clothes, saying its easy to get in and she’s pretending she forgot you go there. But you payed your way in and she’s rich too so you kind of assume she did the same thing and fine, so you have a stalker now.
There’s a mixer at the start of the school year. She shows up in a playboy. bunny. costume.
She tries to flirt with you while your fiance is in the next room. You tell her enough is enough and she gets like really angry at you.
Suddenly she is kicking ur ass in class, she steals opportunities away from you, she steals your girlfriend, she starts winning cases, she’s on the news now, she graduates as valedictorian
And you deserve it
The book from his perspective is even funnier.
You break up with the girl you actually really like because she's hot, but your family expects you to marry a girl who's rich and also smart enough to be a lawyer herself, so you string her along until just before graduation and then tell her so long and thanks for all the fish.
Then you show up at Stanford for orientation and, at the end of the long list of accolades and accomplishments the various students in your graduating class comes in with, the dean of students announces Stanford Law's first-ever beauty queen, and holy shit it's your ditzy ex.
You have already gotten engaged to the girl your parents expect you to marry. Your fiancee is actually in more of your ex's classes than you are, just because of how the schedules line up. There are quite a few people in your class who knew her before and they all mock her. Most of the other students get in on it. You stay out of it.
There's a Halloween party, she shows up dressed as a Playboy Bunny, and she outright tells you she came to Stanford to prove she's good enough for you. You laugh at her.
Your fiancee convinces you to send everything you ever got from your ex back to her. She does this right before first semester finals. You may possibly feel like a jerk, but you do it anyway.
You get your grades back for the first semester. Your fiancee is near the top of the class. You are at the bottom of the class. You are pissed off about this. You decide you need to do something about this situation. What you decide that you need to do is take your ex, who understands you and would never show you up with grades like that and knows how to make you feel like the biggest man in the world, out to dinner, order a meal that your fiancee has managed to convince you to stop eating for your health, declare to your ex that you are going to start making your own decisions again...and have therefore decided to start playing golf again, damn what your fiancee says. You are completely confused when your ex leaves the table in tears.
You may or may not find out that your ex took all her first semester classes pass/fail, which means she technically did better than you.
You apply for an internship with a lawyer who is working on a case involving a woman accused of murdering her elderly husband. You get it, along with your fiancee, a militant feminist, and your ex. The feminist gets the internship because she is an expert in women's rights and particularly as they relate to this case. Your fiancee gets it because she has insanely good research skills and the grades to back it up. Your ex gets it because she is passionate about the case and also has connections with a number of people involved in the case, including the defendant. You get it because your father went to law school with the lawyer in question.
Your ex gets to go along on depositions. Your fiancee also goes to depositions. You are struggling to keep up with the minimal workload you have been given.
The case gets to court. The lawyer is on the verge of losing. Your ex suddenly jumps up and asks to ask the key witness questions. She then manages to skewer the entire testimony based on her intimate knowledge of both beauty routines and sorority politics. She gets mobbed by the press immediately following the case and the lawyer goes on record as stating he is proud of her.
You are delighted. You present your ex with a detailed explanation of how you can now marry her, because your parents will accept her when your dad's old friend tells them how smart she is and you can have a hot wife too. Your ex informs you that she's not interested in you anymore and that she's realized she can do better, and then adds that incidentally your fiancee has been standing behind you this entire time hearing you talk about how she's ugly as a brick fence and you're only marrying her because your parents are making you.
Your fiancee gives you the ring back, skips class, and goes to the salon. Your exes have now unionized.
the comfiest waterbed ever! :)
It took me forever to work on in short bursts while still injured, but sometimes and idea just sinks its teeth into you and won't let go. 🦁
