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@mask131 / mask131.tumblr.com

Just a French guy spreading his chaos and madness
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they call my dick excalibur. because it sat in a lake for a long time . no other reasons

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cottoncandylesbo

ils appellent ma bite excalibur. parce qu'elle est restée dans un lac pendant longtemps . pas d'autre raison

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FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS (BONUS POINTS)

1.) Do you think OP would allow the French near their posts? Why or why not?

2.) Does translating the post add any additional humor? If so, how?

3.) Would another language affect your chances of survival?

3.) Are you in danger?

3.) How fast can you run?

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QUESTIONS SUPPLÉMENTAIRES (POINTS BONUS)

1.) Quelque chose me fait dire que non.

2.) Le français n'est-il pas une vaste blague ?

3.) Je ne crois pas, jusque là, l'anglais n'a que des effets secondaires minimes sur ma santé.

3.) Apparement.

3.) Pardon.

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Being French: the best way to get killed on Tumblr

#reblog#joke
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I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

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I think...you might be right

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what the fuck

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#reblog#the more you know#how strange is life#madison#splash#weird trivia#historical trivia#history of names#cultural impact
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On one occasion she defended me by punching a man’s lights out. I was at some charitable awards ceremony when I was suddenly called upon to ‘fill in’ during a gap. I’m not a comedian who tells ‘jokes’ – I work with scripts and character. But some kind of emotional pressure was applied and I found myself at the podium. Caught in the headlights I told the only ‘joke’ I know. It’s a shaggy-dog story but the bare bones of it are as follows: two women are looking out of the living room window; one of them sees her husband coming home early with a bunch of flowers in his hand. ‘Oh no,’ she says, ‘that means I’ll have to lie on my back all afternoon with my legs wide open.’ ‘Why?’ asks the other one. ‘Haven’t you got a vase?’ I stretched it out to fill the hiatus, and it went down well, but as I left the stage a man who had taken offence at the ‘blue’ nature of the joke strode forward and punched me in the face. From out of nowhere Jennifer was suddenly at my side and decked the man with a left hook. That’s my girl.

Adrian Edmondson on Jennifer Saunders, Berserker!

#reblog#adrian edmondson#jennifer saunders
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Reblogged viisaudenhammaskeiju
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You might be frustrated by the library never having a complete manga collection on its shelves at any given time, but the 12 year old checking out 14 volumes of One Piece at once is vital to the library ecosystem. He's like the sea otter keeping the kelp forest from being devastated by an excess of sea urchins.

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To those curious some other keystone library species include:

—the retirees who’ve read more murder mysteries than I’ve had hot meals

—the paperback romance girlies (gender neutral) who check out every single bodice ripper the second it hits the shelves

—the dads very slowly making their way through a ‘1001 movies to see before you die’ list

—the one-man criterion collection who checks out like, three movies per day and brings them back the next. (TV series are only a minor roadblock.)

—kids who like Minecraft

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---The new parents checking out 47 picture books for their 7 month old baby who clearly has nothing going on in their head except the Wii Sports Resort theme song

#reblog#library#books#true
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The Passage of the St. Gothard (1804) by J.M.W. Turner

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When it comes to sights like this one I always wonder "How the hell could they sculpt these passageways and staircases?" I am literaly baffled every time by how they could have built bridges and the like in such dangerous conditions. There's magic in there - and terror

#reblog#painting#j.m.w. turner#architecture
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“Shivaism has always opposed the anthropocentrity of urban society. Its western form, Dionysism, similarly represents the stage where man in is communion with savage life, with the beasts of the mountain and forest. Dionysus, like Shiva, is a god of vegetation, of trees and of the vine. He’s also an animal god, a bull god. The god teaches man to disregard human laws in order to rediscover divine laws. His cult which unleashes the powers of soul and body, has encountered a lively resistance from city religions, which have always considered it antisocial. Shiva, like Dionysus, is represented by city religions as the protector of those who do not belong to conventional society and thus symbolizes everything which is chaotic, dangerous and unexpected, everything which escapes human reason and which can only be attributed to the unforseeable action of the gods.”

— Alain Daniélou, Gods of Love and Ecstasy: The traditions of Shiva and Dionysus.

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Daily reminder that Shiva and Dionysos are the closest cousins of Indo-European mythology

#reblog#seriously though#the parallels between the two and their worship are FASCINATING#shiva#shivaism#dionysos#dionysism#comparative mythology
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The Damsel of the Lake Called Nimue the Enchantress

  • Artist: Frank Cadogan Cowper (English, 1877–1958)
  • Date: 1924
  • Medium: Oil on canvas
  • Collection: Private collection
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I didn't know this painting was of the Lady of the Lake! I was introduced to it as just the random portrait of an enchantress... Though it makes sense. Merlin is the Enchanter so of course Nimue would be an Enchantress...

Source: arthur.io
#reblog#arthurian art#enchantress#painting#the lady of the lake#lady of the lake#nimue#frank cadogan cowper#witch art
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monthly media recap: october 2024

read:

  • Captain Fracasse by Théophile Gautier - an old novel mimicking an even older one, about an impoverished nobleman who joins a travelling acting troupe. A lot of fun if you enjoy pages-long descriptions (I do). Chiquita and Soubrette my beloveds <3
  • In the Flesh (Books of Blood Vol. 5) by Clive Barker - picked it up primarily for The Forbidden, the story Candyman is based on (which turned out very different from the movie), ended up enjoying all four stories if "enjoying" is the right word. Gotta check out the other volumes.
  • Gawain by Gwen Rowley - a cute and absorbing retelling of The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle, with good character development and sweet romance. I'm not big on Morgause as an evil sorceress but I get that sometimes the plot demands it. Loved that Dinadan was there, too.
  • Bliss & Blunder by Victoria Gosling - an Arthuriana modern AU where magic is tech, empire is business, but love is still love and war is still war. Kinda clumsy at times, but with much more soul than I expected. I couldn't put it down. More here.
  • Count Averin. The Sorcerer of the Russian Empire (Граф Аверин. Колдун Российской Империи) by Viktor Dashkevich - I was kind of misinformed about the setting before I picked it up, so it ended up being cringe not up my alley for a number of reasons. The plot is okay and both main characters are cute, but I don't think I'll continue with this series.
  • The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights by John Steinbeck - as you can guess by the number of quotes I posted, I really liked it, or, more precisely, didn't care much about the first three stories, but adored the last two. The author's letters at the end were also immensely interesting.

watched:

  • A Cure for Wellness (2016) - creepy, Gothic, long but gripping. The plot was confusing at times, but that's on me. Also, it had me worried I might have nightmares of those eels in the toilet (thankfully I didn't).
  • Duke Bluebeard’s Castle (1988) - Béla Bartók's eponymous opera as a beautiful TV movie. The costuming choices and not only... much to think about
  • The Pit and the Pendulum (1961) - it's not bad, but I wasn't too engrossed. Might be due to me not vibing with Poe's works in general for some reason, though.
  • One Piece Fan Letter (2024) - so cute! Also, really nails the importance of Nami being the kind of character she is, and highlights how devastating the Paramount War was for everyone. I adored the cameos of Perona and Usopp.
  • The Substance (2024) - the reviews didn't lie, it IS good. Quite simple but powerful, lots of stunning shots, both lead actresses killed it. Once again, I was worried I might have nightmares after this one, but it seems like I'm made of a tougher stuff than I thought after all.
#reblog#cultural things#i can't watch the substance#i tried but the body horror is the kind I CAN'T handle#as in watching it on the moment seems fine#but the afterthoughts the intrusive thoughts the “about to go to sleep when I have a vision” and other haunting imageries#no that's an aftermath that makes me feverish and a bit sick#i also guess it is because it happens to a woman#i am better at handling body horror for men than for women
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*This is the option if vampires can be warded off by a Star Trek fan doing the Vulcan salute

**This is the option if you can ward off a vampire with a crucifix you made from two sticks that conveniently happened to be nearby, and that the shape of the crucifix is what’s important

†And this is the option if a Sikh vampire can only be warded off with a kirpan

#reblog#vampire#vampire lore
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ukyou-kuonji asked:

Hello! I'm a big fan of your blog and this week I'm on a bit of a fantasy movie kick. Do you have any favorites or recommendations if I'm looking for movies that are new to me?

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themousefromfantasyland answered:

I need to recommend Voyage of the Unicorn

It's a very obscure miniseries from the early 2000's. Think of it being like The Voyage of the Dawn Trader, but without the religious symbolism. It has a very cliche storyline where a widowed father and his two daughters are transported to a fantasy world and go on a sea voyage through magical islands with mythical creatures in order to save the world.

It's not perfect and it's very cheesy, but it's a fun adventure and it's so earnest and sincere in its storytelling and themes

If you like late 90's, early 2000's Hallmark miniseries and tv films, you will have a blast with this

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Everywhere I go I spread news of this thing, because of how it was one of those childhood series I watched once and then never found again...

I can't remember if I watched it on VHS or DVD, but given the time era it was released in, it was more likely a DVD.

#reblog#the voyage of the unicorn#voyage of the unicorn
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Love a Jean Valjean. Love a fictional man who accidentally adopts a daughter. It’s cheesy, it’s overdone, holy fuck I eat it up every time. I haven’t watched Dungeon Meshi but I’ve seen the fanart of the dwarf adopting the feral catgirl and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen and I don’t think it actually happens in the show

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This happens a lot and I will never not be a total sucker for it

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Also Donkey Kong. Apparently.

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#reblog#character type#comparative media
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So folks here on Tumblr have established how characters like Beowulf, Dietrich of Bern, and as recently pointed out, Hua Mulan are all technically contemporaneous with King Arthur as their stories all occur within that period of c.400-600 AD. Other figures of this Heroic Age are Sigurd/Siegfried and his father Sigmund/Siegemund.

Now, if you consider the Volsunga saga version of Sigmund and Sigurd's story to be canon as opposed to the more chivalric Nibelungenlied, then one must consider how Odin is an active figure who appears at key moments in Sigmund's story, and Loki is a major part of the backstories of Fafnir and Regin.

Where I'm going with this is it raises the implication that along with all the Christian elements and the Celtic Otherworld, the Norse/Germanic gods also exist in some shape or form, which itself raises questions about the general cosmology of this Heroic Age.

I'm sure one can try to weave together something clever and coherent out of all this, or perhaps even leave it incoherent and purposefully ambiguous.

Just some food for thought.

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Odin is also the ancestor of Hengist and Horsa. By extention, this means Rowena, Vortigern's paramour, is descended from Odin. Also, King Lot is part norse.

Also, Ninianne/Vivian/Nimue's lake is called the "Lake of Diana" and Diana herself is LotL's godmother. Sebile also tamed Cerberus, btw.

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I always enjoy when Arthurian (modern) fiction adresses how there's characters descendant of literal gods.

Barjavel's L'Enchanteur did this in quite a fun way - making its Viviane/Lady of the Lake indeed a descendant of both Diana and Dionysos.

(And also having God and the Devil be the two dads of Merlin, quite literaly, so that Merlin keeps around speaking of his "two fathers" as if he was born of a gay couple. It's fun)

#reblog#arthuriana#norse mythology#norse epics#norse sagas#odin#sigmund#siegfried#sigurd#rowena#lady of the lake
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girls I'm about to say a sentence that I doubt has ever been uttered in the history of mankind

Weaveworld (1987) by Clive Barker would make an amazing Broadway musical and I wish to God I could make that happen

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I... a... huh.

#reblog#huh
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