re-creation of one of my favorite audio posts (which is now broken)

“I said No.” [complete silence from the vocals for the rest of the song]

たりらりらさんはTwitterを使っています 「@minira_diary 美味しくなる魔法かけてる」 / Twitter

'Star Wars' and 'Harry Potter' are two franchises that try to claim, textually, that it doesn't really matter who your family is whilst showing subtextually that it unequivocally does matter who your family is.

subtext isn't a thing dude

Welp, there’s my entire literature degree disproven.

it’s so cool how the search function on every website, a technology that was essentially perfected over a decade ago, is borderline unusable now

sometimes you just wanna respond with shit like "that must be a very comforting fiction to you"

My NSFW Catgirls zine.

Hey, stop that,

Hooters is just an extremely American take on a maid cafe if you think about it

your not wrong but you shouldnt say it

This is incorrect. Hooters was founded in 1983, and the first permanent maid cafe, Cure Maid Cafe, was established in 2001. Maid cafe’s are an extremely Japanese take on Hooters.

Torture to be a fan of any exotic animal when it's like. 90% of the footage of them is gonna be from dodo videos of people illegally keeping them as housepets . Really wish I could enjoy this video of a lynx but I also kinda wish everyone involved would die

the always relevant

you will live to witness manmade horrors that are completely within your comprehension if you've paid any attention to a single piece of human history but are nevertheless still huge bummers

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, and she’s getting engaged so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves two more, and those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of ‘em’s young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

tbh i like that more and more games are introducing a "narrative mode" instead of an "easy difficulty", cause a big thing about the easy mode discourse was centered around "are people capable of playing hard games", which showed a lot of elitism and sometimes ableism, but with the introduction of "narrative mode", it completely shifts the paradigm away from "hard mode is for real gamers, easy mode is for noobs" and towards "this is just the game mode for you to experience the story", which not only smooths over that problem, but also enables devs to really rethink how they want to approach designing their game and telling a story to their audience, which i think adds in a lot of possibilities beyond just "is the game easy or hard"

Just what the doctor peppered

environmental storytelling.

/hj is the funniest earnest tonetag in the world even without the handjob joke because it's ostensibly meant to clarify tone for autistic people, but the tone it's clarifying is "unreadable level of ambiguous seriousness that requires social context beyond what text can convey /glhffgt"

I'm half joking, which either means that I'm presenting sincere beliefs flippantly to avoid backlash, that I'm completely lying about what someone like me would say, that I'm presenting a mix of true and false statements, or that I'm loaning out a socially acceptable opinion to nudge you back in line /hj

Old people can’t have a steady retirement, young people can’t buy a house, and middle aged people are having to support their adult children and their parents at the same time like nobody here is winning

i do think we need to start treating spraying harmless "weeds" in your lawn as utterly absurd princess and the pea level of obsession with needing the world to revolve around your every whim, like.

Okay a flower grew out of the ground outside and you can't cope with it. Do you need to sleep on thirty feather beds as well

Once you start thinking about humans as a species in a biome, it affects your entire way of looking at normal things.

The other day I referred to female morning joggers as an 'indicator species' in that if you see women jogging in the dark it means that the environment provides migration pathways (sidewalks, clear signs) and doesn't have any known predators of female morning joggers (guy with knife, bear, BigTruck, male morning joggers).

Though, I think that people consider framing humans as animals reacting to their environment as rude.