Random Outta Pocket moments on the Ranch.
Y/N: *Falls off horse* FuckโฆOuch
Travis: You ok Darlin?
Beth: *Watching her sister walk funny up to the gate* Whatโs the matter with you?
Y/N: My Thong is Thonging a little too hard.
Travis: *Looking up at the sky questioning his wife choices* Dear God
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N: *Falling on the couch between Travis and Beth* Damn what a week.
John: Sweetheart itโs 6:30 pm on a Monday
Y/N: *falling back into Travis* Jesus Christ Fuck me.
Travis: Not Jesus, but I can totally do that later tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N: Your existence confuses me greatly.
Jimmy: How so?
Y/N: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of something bad happening to you is upsetting to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John: Are yall sober?
Beth while holding up Y/N: We are moderately functional.
John: I'll take that as a no.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Dutton way. Which is the wrong way, but faster.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kayce - Travis, what did I say about PDA?
Travis: *with Y/n on his lap and in the middle of a make-out session* I don't know what you're talking about brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colby: I'm a real asset.
Ryan: You're only off by two letters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teeter: Between Ryan, Jimmy, Colby, and Walker - if you had to, who would you punch?
Y/N: No one - they're my friends! I wouldn't punch any of them.
Lloyd: Walker?
Y/N: Yeah, but I don't know why.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kayce: Where's Jamie?
Beth: Somewhere disappointing Dad
Y/N: Somewhere disappointing God
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N: "Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Teeter!"
Teeter: "You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Travis: Why is your back all scratched up?
Y/n : *flashbacks to messing with a chicken Travis told her not to mess with
Y/n: I'm having an affair
Travis: What?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kayce: I thought Beth told you to stay in bed
Y/n: She did, but there's a scary monster in my closet, soooo here I am
Rip: was the monster scarier than Beth when She's mad?
Y/n:...
Y/n: I'm going back to bed
Travis: good girl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kayce : I think your mom mixed up our lunches. Look.
holds up a post-it note that says "I'm proud of you and I love you so much."]
Tate: Oh, that explains this.
holds up a post-it note that says
"Please be good. For the love of God, be good. "]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John: If you three can manage not to kill each other while I'm gone-
Y/N: Oh please...
Beth: *Fake smiles*
Jamie: We're not children.
John: ...*walks away*
Y/N: ...
Jamie: ...
Beth: โฆ
Y/N: Fucking Cunt-Cakes
Beth: Eat shit and die.
Jamie: Yes, fuck you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walker: You know, Travis, real talk bro, you never say nothin' when you're around us. Why is that?
Travis: Cause I don't fucking like you guys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John: Don't pull any of those stunts like you did last time.
Y/N: I made an offering.
John: You dropped a dead mouse into Summerโs lap.
Y/N: Yes! Like a cat.
John: You are not a cat!
Y/N: No... tragically, I am a woman.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheriff : Think you can answer questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
Y/N: If you can ask them without the usual level of stupid.
Sheriff : Where's your Dad and why hasn't anyone been able to contact him?
Y/N: I dunno, l've been here, haven't seen him in days.
Sheriff : Is he drinking again?
Y/N: What do you mean again? He never had to stop.
Sheriff: But he did have to slow down, is he drinking like he used to?
Y/N: Alright, how bout this? Next time I see him, l'll give him the field sobriety test, okay? We'll do the alphabet, start with F & end with U.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Beth and Summer arguing*
Kayce: โฆ
Monica: โฆ
Rip: โฆ
John: โฆ
Y/N: l'ma instigate.
Travis: *pulling her back and putting his hand over her mouth* NO!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Travis: *pissed off* Sometimes I can't stand you.
Y/N: *while walking away* Then kneel!And while you're down there, occupy your mouth.
Travis: I.....
Teeter: 000000....
Jimmy: I- I-... She has no fear. None. Absolutely no survival instinct, no self preservation. None!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Travis: To apologize Iโm getting you whatever flowers you want
Y/N: Fuck flowers buy me a horse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kayce: Won't be gone long. Left everyone their own list of instructions while I ain't here.
Y/N: Mine just says "Y/N, no."
Rip: Apply it to everything
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N: Why don't you ever take me outside in the middle of the night to look at the stars?
Travis: Cause I woke ya up at 4:30 once to hunt with me and ya said anything before 9am was costin' me my dick.
Y/N: Maybe I meant you'd get laid.
Travis: Ya had a knife, Y/N.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rip: What's wrong?
Travis: Food's hot. Can't eat it.
Y/N: I'm hot.
Travis:*looking exasperated* Don't.
Y/N: You still eat me.
Everyone at the table: *crickets chirping*
John: *beating his forehead on the table* Just-one-normal dinner. I just want one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colby: The fuck's wrong with you?!
Teeter: *sipping her coffee* Wow, could you at least say good morning?
Colby: Good mornin. The fuck's wrong with you?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lloyd: what's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Jake: disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Jimmy: smad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N: Iโm a person that likes to think things through.
Jamie: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beth: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Rip: Sure!
Rip: Whats your favorite color?
Beth: *laser fucking focused* Triangle. Do you love me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
