You want to hurt that character because you hate them. I want to hurt that character because I love them. We are not the same.

I worked at a McDonald's as a cashier in high school and it was during a time when they changed their POS system (point of sale, not piece of shit) so everything was now in a slightly different, less logical place, but I was working 20ish hours a week so I picked it up really quickly

Anyway I was out with my friend in the next town over and we went to a McDonald's because she really wanted an ice tea and we go through the drive through. The man greets us out of the little speaker and asks for our order and she says "Hi! Could I get a large sweet ice tea please?"

Silence.

Longer silence.

And I knew in my heart what was happening.

So I leaned over and said, "It's on page two of drinks, under juice, then the third one down."

Another much shorter silence.

Then:

"What the - how the hell did... Uh. I mean. Thank you?"

And it's been literally ten years but I'm still riding the high from that.

Ninety percent of most magic consists of knowing one extra fact.

-Terry Pratchett

lets ambush mama

big fan of when youtubers break out the corkboard and string. thats when you know youre in for an insanely pointless breakdown of a media you're only tangentially familiar with.

It is not enough to get into a comfy sleeping position- one must go through several and spin like a rotisserie chicken to arrive at the position you started with.

truly one of the most upsetting things to hear in pretty much any context is "i'm used to it"

let's hear some flat affected cheers and listless applause from the anhedonic crowd

Love referring to characters who are never seen without each other as "bonded pairs" like yuuuup. if you put these two in separate cages they're gonna get real sad and anxious and possibly violent too, one of em is biting the bars as we speak. you gotta adopt both of them or none at all, it is encouraged that you take them both. they are most likely to thrive if they stick together. it is easier for them to get used to new environments and situations because they have each other. they do everything together because they love each other so so much. you COULD separate them but it's gonna do a lot of psychological damage and it's gonna lead to a lot of issues and there's a big possibility they'll never be the same again

stretched out Creek was meant to dissuade you people from reblogging this post and yet it has not worked, do you WANT him in your house ????

favorite tags so far

Tumblr is odd because you’ll see a mutual post something really profound like “the birds still sing for those who listen” and you see them 5 minutes later saying something like “need to be pegged.grilled cheese style”

i beat myself up for not knowing enough about my special interests a lot but then i remember the average person off the street has no idea what the carboniferous is and i feel better

are you really bad at it or are you in "good at it" spaces

Me: ah shit, I misidentified that yellow rumped warbler as a female goldfinch, I should literally be hung at the gallows for this. I'm such an IDIOT

My friend, pointing at a vulture: check out that fucked up crow lol

yes they are toxic but it is because of the love. without the love it would be a lot healthier actually.

it's so funny how tumblr rolls out updates because i keep seeing a slowly growing number of posts about how terrible it is but your tumblr is the same. it's like a slow going zombie apocalypse. there is no escape but for now you're alive

Wrinkly tissue paper set only 6 whole cents!

He’s embarrassed