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it's SO over

@mimicori / mimicori.tumblr.com

miche // they/xe/any // aroace // too many fandoms, too little time // fuck it we ball // πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄

guangzhou, december 2024

went on a short trip to guangzhou over christmas and thoroughly enjoyed myself! went to dress up and take photos again (I'd previously done it in jiuzhaigou during my october trip as well, but in a different style); I'd originally wanted to wear a ζˆ˜ε›½θ’ but it wasn't available on that day, so I ended up with a modernised hanfu that looks like it was inspired by the ι­ζ™‹ε—εŒ— period and it turned out great 😌

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying β€œthat’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

For context

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was β€œhe’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying β€œYou can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him β€œdid you see the sign?” He said β€œyeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said β€œI didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said β€œits ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

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flowernstt

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like β€œhey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like β€œyes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks β€œcan I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes β€œhey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like β€˜ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats.Β  The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe.Β  Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle.Β  Whenever he came over I’d put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don’t like being shut away without one of us.Β 

One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box.Β  I let her out and decide, hey, I’m hungry, and decide to the kitchen.Β  I forgot to shut the bedroom door.Β 

Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent.Β  My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up.Β  I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy’s leg, purring, and doing her β€œlet me on your lap” meow.Β  The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out.Β  I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she’s harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her.Β  Very slowly he touches my cat’s face, and she leans right into his hand.Β  He then pets her back and sighs because she’s really soft and purring like mad.Β  After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it’s okay if she sits on his lap.

He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat.Β  The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats.Β  He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them.Β  A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent.Β 

Oh no a new one!!!

Blessed post.

I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went ”I always wanted to learn how to ride but I’m afraid of horses because they’re so huge. If I could ride ponies like this, maybe I’d dare but now I’m too big and heavy for them.” You should have seen his face when I told them that actually they’re not ponies, just small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I’m helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride.

A few years ago my sister and I were in Daytona Beach, and we saw this huge, burly biker. Looked like the stereotypical biker: big black beard, the goggles, leather, and a bandana. He also had a baby carrier, and in that baby carrier was a tiny little orange Pomeranian. We complimented his dog and he said, in one of the deepest voices I’ve ever heard, β€œthanks, his name’s Little Bear!” And he told us about how he’d take Little Bear out on his motorcycle everyday and how much the dog loved it.

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depressedanxietydeath

Such a lovely post.

I’m not even putting this in the museum, it shall run free and collect more lovely stories.

people really do act like being racist about china and chinese people actually makes them more worldly and politically aware.

This is one of those true, declassified government things that always sounds made up but one of the things Henry Kissinger did with his career was use the CIA to help turn small, prosperous socialist nations into fascist dictatorships just to keep those nations powerless and possibly to keep socialist systems *looking* doomed and futile to the American public, like maybe just to scare Americans out of demanding better infrastructure or universal income. Yes it sounds like an insane conspiracy theory a maniac would invent. It also happened multiple times and several generations of people around the world are still living in misery because of it.

Remember folks, the two types of conspiracy theory are "Things the CIA or FBI has admitted to doing" and "Antisemitism"

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inkdot-deactivated20200219

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic?Β  She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing.Β  But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great.Β  She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success.Β  So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear.Β  Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles.Β  He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses.Β  You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on.Β  Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered.Β  He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit.Β  That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way.Β  I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.Β 

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this.Β  But no one ever told me.Β  I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your β€œproblem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes.Β  No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed.Β  I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to.Β  No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to.Β  I guess I just didn’t know.Β  I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are β€œwrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while.Β  But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not.Β  Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

This post is one of those things that I will reblog every time it appears on my dash.Β  This is so important, and no one ever tells you about it.

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skeletree

I almost didn’t read this but then I did and I’m really glad that I did.

Super important

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deafchildcrossing

Tldr: The reason clothes never β€œlooked right on you” is because models and celebrities always had their clothes tailored to fit them perfectly.

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plucky-pomegranate

I love this post but it always frustrated me just a little because I can’t even afford to buy new clothes let alone get the clothes I have tailored. But then I remembered that a lot of things are easier to do than you think they will be, so here’s some resources on how to alter your own clothes!

Please read this, it’s an opportunity to learn about yourself, possibly a new skill and why it isn’t you, it’s the industry.

"How could you do this" with the help of the demon blade "this isn't you" well yeah it's me and the demon blade "I know you're a good person" yeah that wasn't in question "please come home" not if you're gonna be a dick to the demon blade "we need to destroy the demon blade" listen I don't come to family gatherings and say we Need To Destroy aunt cassie and she's genuinely evil, unlike the demon blade

the rapid disintegration of rainbow capitalism pretty much encapsulates the problem with rainbow capitalism in the first place: it is and always was performative fair-weather allyship that evaporated in the face of any real political pressure

Problem? It was never a problem, unless you had unrealistic expectations for what it meant. It was a symptom, and a good one. β€” Be strategic and think about this deeper for a minute.

It was absolutely performative fair-weather allyship. But it was a bellwether that the pink dollar was worth taking over any hypothetical backlash a business might face for supporting the queers. For some, and at some times in the past, it was a reassurance that they would do business with you even if they knew you were gay, and that was a huge issue if you eg. wanted to buy a house or a car. And it helped make queerness both more visible and more normalised in society, instead of trying to sweep teh gays back into the closet.

You’re not going to get rid of cynical cash grabs so long as capitalism is around, so you might as well be clear-eyed about it and recognise that while rainbow merch is totally unreliable for actual support, it was a sign that the smart money was betting in your favour.

You can always trust a business to find a sort of middle space that's vaguely agreeable to most of its customers and sit there avoiding all controversy in the absolute most craven and soulless way possible.

This means that a business is in fact a very good indicator of what's vaguely agreeable to most of its customers and what counts as controversy.

Don't think of them as allies. They aren't people. They can't be. Think of them as a barometer. If the barometer is up, you've probably got sunny skies. When the barometer starts dropping, prepare for heavy weather moving in.

I remember when I first found out the truth about β€œSomali pirates” I got chills because of how horrific the truth was and how insanely creepily well the media had twisted the situation. Every single fucking article making it seem like these β€œpirates” were just after money or something holding innocent people hostage and I never gave it a second thought, why would I? There was no indication that people were trying to legitimately fight off disgusting imperialism that leftΒ nuclear waste in their waters, that over 300 people have died from radiation sickness, that Europeans have beenΒ stealing Somalia’s seafood because they overfished their own waters and the indigenous fisherman areΒ starvingΒ and so these β€œpirates” emerged to deal with those stealing their country’s natural resources. The truth is enough to make anyone sick to their stomachs.

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thebicker

This is a great article about the truth about Somali pirates, in case anyone wants a source.

Leonid Pasternak Β (Ukrainian, 1862–1945) - The Torments of Creative Work

oh leonid, we're really in it now

Leonid, you really understand it.

Save me Leonid, from my empty Word document

Leonid what should I do about the emails

Babe are you okay? you reblogged Leonid Pasternak's Torments of Creative Work again

Leonid Pasternak is the best! My favorite of his is The Night Before The Exam (1895).

My man Leonid continues to be relatable

A friend has once again brought it to my attention that it is unusual to have an intact chronological memory of life prior to age 12 and you know what’s weird to ME is that the rest of yall forgot how to sing the clean-up song

Other shit:

  1. The crotch-and-chin destroying hell of a toddler’s carseat
  2. How fucking scary stairs are when you JUST figured out walking. β€œYou can stand up” nah fuck that these steps go up to my knees and I’m top-heavy I’m gonna scoot down on my ass thank you
  3. Walking alongside fucking giants whose legs are bigger than your whole fucking body and trying to keep up
  4. Not knowing how to blow your nose and everyone expecting you to just figure it out by holding a tissue and saying β€œblow” like WHAT DO YOU MEAN CLOSE MY THROAT? Just an absolute snot waterboarding
  5. People describing how to make sounds with your mouth but you can’t see inside their mouth when they do it so you kind of just guess over and over while they tell you you still don’t got it
  6. Not having a full grasp of language but fully understanding CONCEPTS so you say shit like β€œare we going to the park later?” When you mean TOMORROW but all you can come up with is shit like β€œthe next time we have lunch, not today but after today, after that” like a fucked up game of verbal post-brain injury Pictionary where people won’t let you get mad about it
  7. Just. Mucus. Mucus and chapped skin, all the time, chin and upper lip. And you’re not supposed to lick it cause the spit is the PROBLEM but it’s fucking OBNOXIOUS. β€œJust keep the skin dry” wow thanks I’ve been aware of this mechsuit for about ten minutes and still haven’t fully mastered not falling into the toilet but yeah I know how to stay on top of that, cool
  8. FALLING INTO THE TOILET
  9. Trying to eat at a table where the surface comes up to your chin but not being able to get high or close enough cause you can’t scoot your chair in and your hands still don’t coordinate good so you end up just spooning tomato sauce onto your lap like an asshole. Like yeah mom my bad, have you considered though that I ALSO don’t want me to be covered in sauce? Cool
  10. Adults being WAY too excited about shit that straight up is not worth the hype
  11. Carpet burn. Constant carpet burn. Crawling, tripping, shuffling between toys on the floor. So much goddamn carpet burn
  12. Knowing exactly what you’re talking about and zero people understanding because they think you’re too dumb for what you’re trying to communicate
  13. Being told to wave at or hug complete strangers. And they always smelled kinda weird but you weren’t supposed to say it
  14. The feeling of meeting an older kid and they act like they’re your manager or something
  15. Encyclopedic knowledge and name of every single person in your grade 1 class, and their interests
  16. Stroller rides. You could zone out at the ground for hours I swear to god
  17. Dropping something while buckled into a carseat or stroller and not being able to get it and just resigning yourself to a life in hell
  18. Dropping something while you’re in a carseat and it goes UNDER YOUR ASS and you can’t fucking GET IT
  19. Other children getting away with just absolute war crimes. Imagine if Sharon showed up to the office potluck and offered you a cookie and after you ate one revealed that she licked it. Imagine if Gord took your stapler and put it down his pants so you couldn’t get it back. Imagine if for no reason at all your coworker told you your dad was stupid and then put your laptop in the garbage
  20. Not remembering what different foods are called and getting pressured into agreeing to food you were NOT FULLY AWARE OF. How the FUCK is a chicken wing different from a chicken strip you ask? β€œWell, one just has a bone in it!” You fool. You fucking idiot. They might as well be from different animals entirely. But now you gotta eat it cause we don’t waste food (hell)

Yes I’ve talked about this before and yes I’m going to talk about it again because every single person on earth should be fully and viscerally aware that being a kid feels like every description I’ve ever read of recovering from a stroke and we all grow up and forget and talk about childhood like it was magic.

Yeah some of it was fun and all but don’t you remember FALLING DOWN CONSTANTLY? You don’t remember needing help putting a shirt on cause you got your arm stuck and couldn’t get out and panicked so bad you started crying? You DON’T remember being just CONSTANTLY STICKY? Ohhh my good, pissing yourself. Pissing yourself was the worst. Christ alive, and being put in the playpen with a weird kid

Why were you falling into the toilet?

I WAS LIKE TWO FEET TALL

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Reblogged

Cake i made today that looks like an amnesiacs distant memory

guys stop saying it looks like a burger patty with chees πŸ’”

ITS CAKE ITS A TANGIBLE CAKE

I MIXED cake batter together and i put it in the oven and. I MADE a cake i HOPE this helps

I've never seen death of the author applied to a baked good before, until now that is

Exactly how I'd cook a burger patty with cheese

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