Mintendo96

yeah I have bpd (best puppy disorder)

i just really dont understand this whole "you cant say you hate men or you'll scare your transmasc friends and make them feel unsafe" thing im sorry like i have plenty of transfem friends and mutuals who are "misandrists" or "transandrophobes" and it has never bothered me at all and i know plenty of other trans men who feel the same way

and i think it's shitty to tell transfems to "stop hating men" just to spare the feelings of a handful of insecure tboys who probably weren't all that supportive of trans women to begin with if a couple of "i hate men" posts are enough to make them cut ties

i will say re:butch/femme, i was exploring my gender on tumblr around the time there was a bunch of discourse over like, these labels having very specific meanings beyond "masc/fem", who was and was not allowed to call themselves butch/femme, etc etc and the general understanding that this was basically a strict social script for an in-group to use, and all that just scared me out of using the terms as anything other than adjectives for a good while.

there was also a big scare about how "butch/fem is NOT just heterosexuality for lesbians!!!" and ill be real... i get that its shitty coming from a guy and i do get that by definition two women having a sexual/romantic relationship are going to be queer, but when it moves from "these are aesthetics that some people look for" and "its okay for a woman to have short hair/tattoos/use tools/etc etc butch signifier", and into, again, strict roles with a sort of social script... some people (NOT ALL) are rolling masculinity/dominance/topping and femininity/submission/bottoming all into a binary, and frankly i think that's worth criticizing.

and again i think that played into this Canonization of a very specific late-20th-century US city queer experience as the definitive queer experience, that we must use their language and idolize their writers and retvrn to the prelapsarian days of reposted DTWOF comics and i hope you can pick up some of my disdain for this strain of queer thought

also to be clear, i don't think those terms are Inherently Evil And Fascist, they're good words with an interesting history! my actual Calls To Action are thus;

Bro racism is persuasive but there’s NOTHING on the level of antiblack racism out there……… like I could be having a totally normal convo w someone who seems very likable and then they just say something antiblack racist out of nowhere . And it’s like why? For what?

One time I was explaining what it was like being Palestinian to some dude in class, he was nodding along and seeming to get it and then just said the most out of pocket Anti-Black thing in an attempt to show he cared? I told him he was wrong and I quit the class that day.

Hi girls, let’s do something! Reblog to this post with a picture of yourself, or a transition timeline if you feel comfortable about it, and things that make you happy and comfortable about yourself! To spread a bit of positivity, and show the girls that are scared that there’s joy on the other side.

I wrote this all out once and then tumblr ate it as it was posting so I’m writing it again out of fucking spite.

Instead of a basic transition timeline, I wanna write something for the transfemmes who had their transitions delayed because of someone else, who are scared they may never be safe to transition. It’s worth surviving until you escape and can create yourself, I promise you.

In 2016, when I was 20, I first started to have realizations of Gender. I was dating my most abusive partner at the time, a semi-closeted transmasc who forced me to stop exploring my gender because of their own insecurities snd internalized transphobia - and because of how abusive the relationship was, I stopped out of fear and banished the thought from my mind. We were together for three-ish years.

These photos are the first time I put on makeup for myself that wasn’t for a costume or performance, taken about 30 minutes apart in 2016.

In January 2019, I finally escaped them safely, and immediately came out as an any-pronouns enby who often had curated facial hair. I knew nothing really about HRT and didn’t have any transfemme friends I could talk to more about it at the time. I kept my presentation and pronouns fluid through 2020-ish.

I’m including a small range of photos from this period bc I want y’all to see me experimenting with femme looks as well as having masc looks. I also used breastforms/inserts at this point depending on the day/look. These are from roughly 2019/2020:

In 2021, I started hormones (pills), stopped letting people use “he” pronouns at all for me, and settled on “They” as my primary pronoun. I also started focusing more on styling myself femininely and figuring out what I liked/wanted.

In 2022, I started interacting with the local trans community a lot more and started injections/monotherapy, which I found worked a *lot* better for me than pills.

These photos are from 2021/22:

Over 2023/24/25, I’ve increased my dosages, added progesterone, and have found better skincare/hair care routines for myself. I’d like to have surgeries eventually, but that’s complicated by the fact that many FFS surgeons only know how to work within white standards of beauty, and don’t know how to preserve “ethnic features” especially for Black trans women.

I also stopped allowing nonblack people to use “she/her/girl” pronouns for me for complicated racial reasons (although I still use other feminine terms), added “Fae/faer” as my primary pronouns in addition to “They/them”, and realized a lot more about my gender! I still identify as a non-binary trans woman, however.

These photos are from recently:

I wanted to say all this because I never thought I’d escape that relationship I mentioned and get to be myself. We broke up a week before we would’ve gotten married. I didn’t have hope and I thought being able to be who I really am was just.. lost to me. And I was wrong.

Even if it takes you longer to get there, even if you’re not safe right now or don’t feel comfortable right now, it’s worth surviving until you can, I promise. I wish I had been able to be myself in those three years I “lost” too, but I’m so fucking happy to be who I am now. I’ve been through a LOT of trauma since those first photos, I’m not gonna pretend it was easy to survive until now, but it’s so fucking worth it.

One day you’ll get to be the one telling younger trans women how it was hard for you to survive until you could transition, but that it’s so worth it to keep going until you can.

Sharing this again for TDOV with a photo from today :3

I'm tired of sharing news with you on Tumblr. Every day I mention some people, some of them answer and some of them don't, but will you help me today by sharing the post with the largest number of people who die every day in Gaza and need your donations?

Please share my friend 🩶🩶

@ankle-beez @vampiricvenus @boobieteriat @prisonhannibal @sealsdaily @rickybabyboy @sayruq @valtsv @komsomolka @marxism-transgenderism @teaboot @chokulit @ot3 @90-ghost @apas-95 @punkitt-is-here @tamamita @omegaversereloaded   @feluka @skipppppy   @paper-mario-wiki @xgoldenlatiasx @memingursa @certifiedsexed @evillesbianvillainarchive @nothingbizzare @skunkes @wolfertinger666 @starspilli @taffybuns

Please share my friend 🩶🩶

Please share everyone 🙏

whatever MY special interest is my wife #mywife

one consequence of transmisogyny (but not unique to it) is that it makes you into a paranoiac. take the example of the "degendering they" or like the "backhanded compliment," relatively minor interpersonal interactions that trans women increasingly feel hypervigilant about. it's probably counterproductive to assume everyone who gives you a compliment or refers to you as "they" or "this person" (<- phrase that actually revolts me a little now in this context) is doing so condescendingly, in a malicious or even just incidentally diminishing way. but also, everything about your life as a trans woman encourages you to be on alert for these kinds of cues, because if you're not paying attention to them then when the hammer drops it will hit that much harder.

just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

yeah, he sure is

i deeply apologize to everyone that i have hurt by suggesting that a former IDF prison guard who voluntarily left the safety of his home in the United States to seize the once in a lifetime opportunity to work inside of an Israeli concentration camp where he claims to have met the "one logical Palestinian" he's ever encountered in his life might have some kind of incentive for not exposing the full and unleashed depravity of US military operations against the Yemenis, who are the only people in the world actively working against stopping the genocide and ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians that has been carried out for the last year and a half. this is a man with entirely pure intentions. after all, The Atlantic is a reputable, courageous and independent news publication. i shouldn't have dared besmirch their name.

i understand that every post about Israel or the IDF or hell, even the Middle East, at the end of the day, is a ruthless and unfair attack on you and your way of life. all of these people on the internet humanizing Arabs and Muslims and children and women and condemning them being raped and blown to pieces... they just keep focusing on the wrong things and it's probably extremely, extremely scary for you, even though it has absolutely nothing to do with you or Judaism whatsoever. or is it that you think that everything Israel does is truly in the name of Judaism? because i don't think that.

ultimately, there is only one thing to consider in this 75+ year occupation and extermination of an indigenous people: how any criticism might make you feel deep down inside. that is what we need to focus on and i can see now that i've made a grave mistake.

furthermore, i can't put myself in your shoes, so i can't imagine how it must feel to have to see someone suggest that the US media apparatus might be providing cover to a country that you've never been to, that you weren't born in, who desires to be an entirely pure religious fundamentalist ethnostate so badly that it's willing to slaughter, rape and desecrate the bodies of hundreds of thousands of Palestinians and Arabs in order to achieve it's goals. all i can do is hope that you heal from this.

most of all, i'm sorry to Mr. Goldberg, whose honorable service as a Concentration Guard Camp has been besmirched. at the time, i did not realize that suggesting a reporter being a former member of the IDF might influence the way he views the current genocide that the IDF is carrying out. but i can see clearly now that there was a secret, evil embedded message in my four-word reblog that blamed this on every Jewish person in America. i hope one day you can forgive me.

Please donate to the Alhaw family. They are #12 on @/el-shab-hussein’s list. Three generations of the family, including young children, are depending upon these funds to survive. And if you are religious, please keep them in your prayers. It is a dangerous time in Gaza at the moment.

they killed palestinian journalist hussam shabat

Nothing but critical support for this Lynx

Sharing a fundraiser, not my own but sent by a comrade, see below:

About Yusra

I'm a lesbian living in a toxic environment. My father recently found out about me and ever since he has been my biggest nightmare about it. He is violent and won’t let me leave the house except to uni and I am fearing for my life because my studies are ending soon. 

About Akram

I’m a trans man living in Palestine. My life is hell, because of the genocide and I face constant abuse from my family and everyone else and I’m afraid to be taken by the police. I also can’t get a job because I'm trans.

Please help us to escape our dangerous situations and live a dignified life together. 

Any contribution, no matter how small, would mean the world to us.

If you can't donate, please share our story to help us reach others who can support our journey.

Thank you.

Currently 500/12000 Euro

The US literally invented the playbook by invading Iraq 2 decades ago and keeping it under occupation for nearly a decade after that (and it still is under occupation really, what with US troops still strewn throughout the country)—and we still have people thinking that their every pro-Israeli move isn’t made with the very intention of killing Arabs, as they historically have in the past. Get serious.

What’s even more is I’ve had to watch historians and politicians and US soldiers show their saccharine remorse by stating that the Iraqi war was “a colossal mistake” “a massive military blunder” “we should’ve never gone there.” 1 million Iraqis were killed—and that’s just out of what’s confirmed. The numbers of those forced to flee their homes go as high as 3 million. My mom was one of the Iraqis who had to make the hard decision of leaving her country because she didn’t want us raised in an unsafe environment. And all it is is a “blunder.” Just a military blunder. Iraq has literally been ruined and it’s a blunder.

This will be how Palestine gets covered like a decade from now btw. Millions dead and/or displaced, and it’s watered down to a “military blunder” that “should have never happened.” It’s not like that kind of coverage has stopped the US from continuously leeching off Iraq to this very day anyway. Now there are Arabs like me who never got to live and grow up in their home country, and I’m already getting misgivings from my family about visiting again because of the “unstable state in the Middle East.” We can never enjoy our culture in peace. It literally never ends.

People especially don't understand the violence of displacement, refugeehood, and diaspora. Like the deaths of these wars are so brutal and horrific but being displaced isn't safety or without its own horrors.

Imagine someone like my dad. He was 6 years old when the six day war happened. He remembers it well even. He remembers being shot at. He remembers hiding in the caves. He remembers running out of food and not being sure if they would be able to get more. Now that alone is a horror and a trauma that lives on your bones.

Now imagine that the only home he has ever known is not home anymore. Might never be again. This place is where your family has lived for at least 12 generations and have family legends of Saladin. His parents decided it was safer to come to the US. A place where he doesn't speak the language, none of them do really. A place that's different entirely: a rural town in Palestine to a bustling American city is a big transition. And he just has to be okay with that because it's a *blessing* at least you are *safe.*

But safety isn't in the day to day as his family struggles to feed all of them. Safety isn't the word I would use to describe figuring out what place to put on your passport as country of origin when your country can't be your birthplace. Safety isn't the word I would use to describe the myriad of ways racism appears in the day to day, both mundane and horrifying. He loses whatever abilities he has to read and write in Arabic.

But, he eventually gets to a place where he and other parts of his family can go back to home. It's wonderful although brief each time and getting briefer. Then things get worse back home and he won't know the next time it will be safe to see his home. He tries to preserve his culture to his kids with his wife who is also Palestinian. They know some basic words in Arabic, but they are toddlers, they will learn more.

Then 9/11 happens. The world is more dangerous for him and his kids than he thought it could get. Even in the "safe" place that they fled to. Hate crimes are increasingly a problem and what is going to happen to his kids. He and his wife stop speaking Arabic in public. Not on purpose, not even consciously, but their kids slowly lose their tenuous grasp of his language. They can't even speak to his parents really and the language barrier between the two generations is a new kind of horror. A rupture that echoes the lack of his literacy in Arabic but this time he can hear it.

He doesn't visit home again for over 2 decades. But he gets back home. And it is beautiful. Two of his adult kids come for the first time. They get to see what they have been missing their whole lives. The parts of them that were lost to time or hatred are here. He even wants to move back. He tries to start the process of getting his parents home in his and his siblings names. It's all they he adores, the food is just as good as he remembers. His kid gorges herself on figs so much she gets ill. They have tea every morning on the patio.

He doesn't get a chance to go back. Not yet at least. The pandemic and then the genocide have prevented him. His kid now lives within a few miles of where the first hate crime in the US that took place after 9/11. He has spent the last 2 years watching horrors beyond even the traumas he already held. He watches the place he loves and desparately wants to return to get turned into rubble over and over again.

Being in the US has meant my family is alive. I am privileged to be here, but it is a horror onto itself. And this is a story of displacement to a Western country, many other stories are far worse than his, far worse than mine. But even in ideal circumstances, diaspora has been a horror. A rupture in space and time on our culture and our identity happening concurrently to the physical destruction of people that look like us. Do you know how often I donate to people with the names of my cousins? How often I see bloodied faces of kids that look like my niblings? How if we were from just a few miles southwest from where we are, we would be there too?

Getting out is important and you should keep funding people to flee, but you have to understand, they aren't fleeing to safety. They are fleeing to a better chance at life, but that life, as it stands, will never be safe.