Vaguely Humanoid TV Girl

tf2 bullet post

tf2 bullet post

THERE IS NO DELTARUNE

THERE IS NO SILKSONG

AND THERE IS NO QUEEN OF ENGLAND

Betcha feel stupid now don’t you?

the queen of england coming to the Nintendo switch 2

Olivia Jaimes’ Nancy continues to amaze and delight.

This really might be the finest 4th wall joke ever pulled off.

OH MY GOD.

“I was 14, I didn’t know what I was doing.”

whaT THE FUCK

This story has no goddamn brakes

(transcript because I couldn’t find one in the notes)

Stephen Colbert: A lot of writers say they were nerdy kids, unpopular, like outcasts, or that sort of thing; was that your experience growing up?

BJ Novak: I think that’s exaggerated, I think a lot of people love to say, ‘oh I was such a nerd’ or ‘I was such a rebel, I sat in the back of the bus’. Most people sat in the middle of the bus. That’s how buses work. So, you know, people say-

Colbert: So you were sitting in the middle?

Novak: Yeah, that’s where I sat! I mean, I did my homework and y'know, dreamed of being a bit of a rebel. I did a very nerdy version of rebellion, which I guess is sort of my way of balancing where I sat on the bus. When I was 14, I got it in my head that I wanted a fake ID. and I committed what- the only term for it is ‘identity theft’, to get this fake ID. So this is the kind of nerd- I’ve never told this story before, this is pretty much the nerdiest way you can be like, ‘a bad kid’. I went to the Newton library where I grew up, and I went through their polling records… buckle in.

Colbert: I think you’ve already - just that sentence has violated a federal law, but go ahead.

Novak: Yeah, there’s a handful of these, and I actually tried to google the statute of limitations on this before the show and couldn’t get the WiFi.

Colbert: Okay.

Novak: So I looked up -this is true- I looked up someone that was 21 years old, through their polling records.

Colbert: And you’re 14.

Novak: I was 14 years old, I looked up someone who was 21 who had my same first name and initial, because I thought, “if I get drunk” -I had never been drunk. I was like, “if I forget my name, I can’t get busted”. So I found someone who was “Benjamin J. [something]”. So I found this guy’s name and I thought, “if I can just forge all his documents, I can go to the DMV and say I lost my license and they’ll give me a new license with his picture”, this is my plan.   So first I need to know where he’s born so I can get his birth certificate, so I call his house. I ask for him, I don’t know what i would have done, I get his brother and I say “I work with Ben, we’re doing a crossword puzzle based on his life for his birthday. Can you tell me what town he was born in?’. So he told me and I took the subway there and I got his birth certificate.

Colbert: How- You went to the- You went to like the county clerk and said-

Novak: They didn’t ask for ID, they just gave me his birth certificate. Then I opened up a mailbox in his name and wrote- I was 14, I didn’t know what i was doing- I wrote to the IRS.

Colbert: Uh-huh…

Novak: And I filled out tax forms in his name. And then I went to the DMV and said “I lost my wallet and I need to-this is all i have”. And i looked 14 years old, but I had these documents, so they sent me to the backroom with this woman who sized me up and said “I can’t give you this, you don’t even have a picture”, and then said with a wry smile on her face, “Open your wallet right now.” and like a true method actor, the only thing I had in my wallet was a library card I had signed in his name. And she approved it, and for the rest of high school I had this actual driver’s license, with my picture on it. [audience cheering] Novak: I’m glad we have some support. You have a look on your face- I don’t know if that was funny or if you just broke the law…

Colbert: It was fantastic, I just hope you have a good lawyer.

“I was 14, I didn’t know what I was doing” said of a caper pulled off with a calculated, methodical demeanor that would make Hannibal Lecter blush

my grandpa saw my gemsona on facebook and now he wants me to draw him a gemsona

he want’s to be an opal!!!!!

 i did a quick one we’ll see what he thinks about it tomorrow!

GEMPA OPAL YAAAAAAH 

AH my twin sister DREW FANART AHAHA!! 

GRAMPS’S REACTION TOMORROW STAY TUNED! 

Here is my grandpa lookin at the post! My sister went over to his house (since I live in a different city) to show him how much you guys love it (and to tell him how cute you think he is!!) I did call them but I wanted my sister to actually show him all the nice tags and how popular he is!

HE also wanted to show you his pug Mordue! They so cute…

He loves it and he’s very happy about how much everyone loved it and so does my mom! Thank you guys so much!!! It really made his day!! He wants to print it out and hang it on the wall so my sister will help with that!

thank god for this post

Always reblog

The best milk commercial ever

wait, THAT’S where that gif is from???

And that gif!

It is indeed one of the best commercials ever. 😄

Also narrated by the very distinctive voice of Tim Curry, which earns it extra points.

We have always existed, and we always will.

We have always existed, and we always will.

We have always existed, and we always will.

forced to say “it’s ok” instead of throwing a chair at them

fowced to say “it’s oki” instead of thwowing a chaiw at dem UwU

This post has been UwU-ified!

Infinite Garfield generator

this gif is so calming. Weeeeeee Hes alive hello garflid

this is how plushie's are born

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