Thinking about how Caleb sleeps facing the door. Always.
It doesn’t matter where you guys are, his place, your apartment, he subconsciously positions himself between you and the exit like a human shield. You used to complain about it when you were kids, not really understanding why you always had to wake up to the view of his broad back. You’d even shove at him when you were groggy and annoyed. Move over, Caleb. You take up too much space. And he would just grumble, shifting only enough to let you push your cold feet against his calves before settling again, always between you and the door.
And sometimes, in the middle of the night, when you wake up to the soft sound of his breathing, you wonder if he ever truly sleeps. His body is still, but there’s a tension in the way he lies, like even in unconsciousness, he’s braced for something. For a threat that’s not there. Like the moment he lets go, something will come to take you from him. Like safety is only real if he’s awake to guard it.
Now, you don’t complain. You don’t tell him to move. Because you know that he’s not just sleeping that way because he wants to. He’s sleeping that way because he has to. Because something deep in his bones won’t let him rest unless he knows, knows, that if anything were to happen, if someone were to come for you, he’d be the first thing they’d have to go through.
So now instead, you press your forehead to the line of his back. Wrap your arms tight around his backside to help ease his mind, even just a little. That you’re here. That you’re safe.
And for a moment, he wouldn’t move. Wouldn’t react.
Then, ever so slightly, his shoulders would relax.
It’s barely noticeable, most people wouldn’t catch it, but you do. You always do. The way his breath leaves him in a slow, measured exhale. The way his fingers, curled into the sheets, unclench just a little.
You tighten your arms around him, pressing closer, letting your warmth soak into his skin. It’s not much. It won’t undo years of instinct, of trauma buried so deep it’s woven into the way he sleeps. But it’s something.
And when his hand— scarred, steady, yours—finds yours beneath the covers, linking your fingers together in the quiet, you think: maybe it’s enough.
// This was a lot longer than expected… I originally planned to write just a quick little hc but alas, can’t help but get carried away when it comes to him. He’s just so… guard dog?? Also, thank you all so much for your love! I just started this account yesterday because I wanted to post my writing somewhere and I was surprised so many of you like it! Was honestly expecting only five notes kekekeke. I’m kind of new to using tumblr as someone who posts so let me know if you want to be mutuals on here!!
