DAY THIRTY SEVEN

the homestucks could not fight they snapped the stick before making a dent in the piñata

DND night. Bonus:

This is probably like my favourite comic ever made in the world i think

He’s literally worse than the joker

@flailingwings your tags are GOLD #daffy at least is a fair fight#he as experience being the straight man#bugs would break him like dry spaghetti

Dealing with Bugs is exactly why Joker is so easy for Daffy.

medieval knight raising the visor on his helm just so you can see him rolling his eyes

I wish we could have pet dinosaurs, I bet they’d be smart and like birds or something. Big fluffy ones you could feed with snake mice and stuff. Jurassic Park could’ve been huge if they bred big cute fluffy dinosaurs. You could take them on walks! Teach them things! They’d probably sound like slowed-down birds! Adorable!!

Realistically they probably would hate you and rip you apart but… imagine

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

Come with, for a moment, down memory lane:

Remember this delightfully silly little sequence? Back when we were young and nothing hurt?

Such fun, right? Oh how we laughed. Now, consider:

chai tea (tea tea)

naan bread (bread bread)

sharia law (law law)

sahara desert (desert desert)

lake tahoe (lake lake)

el camino way (the way way)

pendle hill (hill hill hill)

soviet union (union union)

mississippi river (big river river)

the los angeles angels (the the angels angels)

hula dance (dance dance) dc comics (detective comics comics)

shakira (shakira)

wake me up (wake me up inside)

i've started just saying "Loved an image" in group texts with iphone users when they use the reaction thing

i fit right in :)

therapist: so, how have you been coping with your anxiety lately?

Me, nervously: Well… I’ve been trying to treat myself like a nervous cat…

therapist, stifling a goodnatured laugh: Oh? can you explain that to me?

Me: Well… if you have a nervous cat, the first thing you do is make sure their environment is safe and remove stressors… and you make sure they have enough food and water and places to hide… and you provide some enrichment in case they need to work out energy…

Therapist: And how are you applying that to yourself?

Me: Um. If I feel anxious, I’ll see if I need to back out of any sites or conversations, enforce my boundaries… check my environment for flashing lights or painful noises… make sure I’m hydrated and have eaten… and work on a hobby

Therapist: those are all excellent things! You’re a nervous cat and you need care and kindness!

Frame problem solving & solutions in ways that work for you!

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

This post is a Prince of Heart!

university professors love to create the most fucked up pdf ever known to mankind. it's enrichment for them.

what HAPPENED here

$100,000,000,000,000,000,000 budget for Foot Ball

$0.03 and a stick of gum for Scanner