holy, sick, divine

BOBBY + BUCKEDDIE bonus:

i think there’s a part of buck—a part that exists very, very deep in his subconscious—that has feared being accused of being in love with eddie from the moment he realized he liked men. like, if we circle back to 7x05, eddie is the only person buck is scared of coming out to. he does it fine with everyone else, on accident, brushing off the importance of it. but with eddie we had a whole episode avoiding it. his relationship with eddie is the only one that could be fundamentally impacted by that change. a part of buck was maybe scared, irrationally, that eddie might think it now means he is in love with him.

so when tommy brings it up in 8x11, this thing that has been eating away at buck for almost a year at this point, he goads tommy into saying it. it’s obvious tommy was referring to eddie but buck wanted him to voice it, he wanted someone, anyone to say it aloud. he wanted to hear those fears said to him for the first time, maybe because in a way it almost validates this crazy part of him that he repressed down. honestly, i think buck is relieved someone finally said it so he could start arguing his case.

the problem is, when he finally starts speaking the arguments he’d prepared—“eddie’s straight”, “this isn’t even really his house”, “it just isn’t like that”—he realizes that, actually, no one actually believes him. that’s what pisses him off the most, what sent him over the edge with tommy. then the, “everyone wants me to be hopelessly pining for my straight best friend,” when absolutely no one said that! those are his own fears that have manifested. and what’s even worse than all this is—it might even be true. but i think buck will avoid that until something snaps.

[Image ID: 9 GIFs of Eddie and his Abuela from 9-1-1. GIF 1: In a hospital room, Abuela lies in the hospital bed while Eddie holds her hand in both of his own and smiles as he talks to her. GIF 2: In Texas, Eddie teasingly asks Abuela, “You didn’t help out at all?” to which she smugly replies, “I was allowed to make the tamales.” GIF 3: Eddie, and Pepa, smile with relief and laugh when they learn Abuela made the tamales. GIF 4: After Eddie drops off Christopher with Abuela and rushes off immediately, Abuela calls after him, “Edmundo. Where’s the fire?” Eddie stops mid-step and turns around immediately. GIF 5: Eddie kisses Abuela goodbye on the cheek and she crosses him before he leaves for work. GIF 6: Eddie tells his parents, “We have a life here, and family.” Abuela and Pepa nod at Eddie as Pepa says, “Thank you, Eddie.” GIF 7: Abuela stands behind Eddie and rubs his neck and shoulder in support when his parents berate him. GIF 8: As Helena tells a story about Eddie taking care of his mom when he was little, Abuela half-hugs Eddie and kisses his shoulder as she says, “Why I’m not surprised, huh? Eddie to the rescue, my little hero.” GIF 9: Eddie cups Abuela’s face and moves forward to let her kiss him on the cheek as she holds his wrist. /end ID]

SEASON 3 ⤳ SEASON 8

8.11 Holy Mother of God + Callbacks

free her

5x03 “Desperate Measures” -> 8x11 “Holy Mother of God”

for @bucksmustacheburn 💜

the implication of the line “i was using him as a distraction so i didn’t have to feel alone” exactly right after eddie left implies that eddie is one of the biggest reasons buck feels LESS alone or even just. part of something that’s just his, something where he doesn’t have to play a role to be welcomed warmly, and all the little tidbits they revealed implied that buck and eddie spend literally all their time together doing fun and silly best friend things…and then immediately trying to do an activity he and eddie do together with ravi? jumping into bed with someone else just to feel close to someone? all to try and replicate that kind of intimacy with anyone….kinda makes you think about the sheer number of intimate layers of buck and eddie’s relationship, ones that far surpass physical distance

BUCK BUCKLEY 9-1-1 S08E11

no but seriously maddie's "it wouldn't be so crazy" is !!!!! like that's his sistermom. that's the person who knows him the best outside of eddie. and she is always so careful not to tell buck how he's feeling so she's not gonna literally say "actually i've always wondered.." but this was her basically saying exactly that!! like. that just happened. buck said he's not in love with eddie and maddie said well.. are we sure though?

Anirudh Pisharody as Ravi Panikkar 9-1-1, S08E11

collecting these like infinity stones, thank you

god. eddie fighting off every single emotion the whole episode. fighting it so hard it’s twisting face. fighting it so hard he’s making sure neither he nor buck say it. fighting it so hard so that he doesn’t feel a single thing. and he’s crawling back to the place that made him feel like he has to do that to begin with. oh eddie.