me on my way to work thinking about my favorite blorbos giggling and holding hands and being silly and goofy

Gustavo Fring from Breaking Bad - Aluminum Foil Sculpture

you have to be careful of wild planes performing courtship rituals this time of year, but watching them dive towards the ground with locked talons is a pretty awe inspiring sight

oh look at my hair. its terrible. do you believe this hair cost 10 dollars. 10 dollaires. andre did it. andre of paris on fifth avenue. ill kill that queen andre. well i dont like a set look... yew kneow? i dont like anything that looks too set. i like things a little... things that move. i think things that move are beautiful. like your bust... it moves........ cos you dont wear a bra.

It's so nice being on tumblr because you don't even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you're good at rebloging posts they like

you have to admit it: most if not all animals are very brave. they do a lot of things and dont always know whats going to happen. they have beautiful eternal souls because of this

i love characters who do the “i worship the myth i make of you” and in turn dehumanize and get wrong the object of their devotion and love. yes project a thing that does not exist onto a pedestal and kneel at it like it is your altar. this will surely not blow up in both of your faces eventually

Me: "Welcome home, honey! Hope you had a good day!"

My robotgirl girlfriend who communicates in classic YTP soundbites: "I wonder what's for DINNER?"

Me: "I was hoping we could go grab a bite. Maybe Italian?"

My robotgirl girlfriend who communicates in classic YTP soundbites: "I HOPE SHE MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI"

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

"if you're going to eat that rotisserie chicken please do it in an area where none of us can see" you hate me. you hate me because i have different eating habits than you and you want me to STARVE

look upon my works ye mighty and weep (im not done there's still plenty of good meat on there)

reviews are in

"plenty of good meat on there"

Achievement unlocked!

RECONSTRUCT WHAT?!?!

THERES NOTHING LEFT.

got that Taco Bell cough

Ohhh