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you should have bought a squirrel

@mynewurl / mynewurl.tumblr.com

ive just eaten a three course meal and finding it very hard to serve cunt with a full stomach

we need personally tailored hormone cocktails. if u want estrogen curves a non functional dick and a flat chest u should be able to get that. if u want huge tits hard cock huge loads we should promote that. when i’m president we’ll kill all real estate agents in the street like dogs.

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Reblogged

my idol is the Irish lady on TikTok that makes those drinks and inhales them with the giant straw, she seems like she’s got things under control tbh

like legit, she seems like she’s having a good time and im missing out

my idol is the Irish lady on TikTok that makes those drinks and inhales them with the giant straw, she seems like she’s got things under control tbh

Some of y’all haven’t become so disillusioned with your own reality that you spend years of your life daydreaming about entirely made up worlds and people and it shows

When I was in 6th grade I was going through my emo phase so one day I came to school wearing all black and my teacher said “What’re you all dressed up for? Going on a hot date?” and in the saddest voice that i could muster I said “Yeah… a date with death” and she stopped talking to me for the rest of the school day

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shitty-car-mods-daily

This thing looks like a gaming mouse

just got the new ford egg

This car got stung by a bee and all you freaks can do is laugh?

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