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@myoclonus-aro / myoclonus-aro.tumblr.com

axel, xe/xem, sideblog of @true-bugs[Icon ID: Pixel art of Jyugo from Nanbaka on an aromantic flag background. End ID]

Intro + about me

axel • xe/xem/xyr • 20 • main blog: @true-bugs

i am aromantic and a transgender man. i have suspected autism and dyspraxia + involuntary muscle movements of unknown cause (self-diagnosed because healthcare in my country has horrendous waiting lists :|). i'm always open to questions about all of these though i won’t turn anon on. i use person-second language for myself (ie. “i have autism” instead of “i’m autistic”).

this blog centres allo-aros and non-SAM aros; trans men; and medium-high support needs autistics. i believe that trans men also experience transphobia and oppression and it isn’t transmysoginistic to talk about this.

main special interests: bugs, tea, stardew valley, animal crossing, nanbaka, and jellycat plushies.

all photo posts will have an image description or are tagged 'no ID'. if i write an ID for your post please copy-paste it to the original below the image (ALT text isn't accessible to everyone!! putting it under a read-more also makes it unaccessible!!). don't add images to my posts without an ID.

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[ID: 2 Looping GIFs of the Animal Crossing: Wild World title screen. The first is of the logo. It's late evening time and stars are twinkling. The second shows Portia and Daisy walking around their village while the "touch to start" prompt is displayed. End IDs]

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[id: screenshot of a tweet reading "why are the transmisogynist, 'i'm still a woman but also a man' trans men always fucking pedophiles lmfao every fucking time"]

No trust me this group of trans people are actually always pedophiles, it's not transphobic to say it this time because it's true, trust me bro they're actually pedophiles this time

(I cropped out the names attached but. The "pedophile" this is about is a genderfluid trans man who is also sometimes a woman. This is explicitly transmultiphobic)

Can I combine this blog with nd and transman posting to help it be more active or will yall kill me with hammers

i love you, trans men who are also partially or wholly women. i love you, bigender, trigender, polygender, pangender, multigender and genderfluid trans men who also experience womanhood. i love genderqueer and non binary trans men who are women. i love you, feminine trans men. i love you trans men who use she/her, or don't like he/him. i love you, trans men who are also lesbians. i love you, trans gays who are also girls. there's nothing wrong with being a trans man who is also a woman. nothing about being a trans man means you have to hate womanhood or not experience it. you are not a threat or danger to anyone or any specific groups. your identity harms no one. you are a welcome part of the communities you occupy. you are loved and valued

being on the aro spectrum would be a lot easier if being single wasn't made to feel like a literal death sentence

it's all very well to say "friends are just as important as romantic partners" but in practice this simply is not the case lmao. you can share a flat with a friend but it's expected that sooner or later that friend will meet someone and will move out to go live with that person instead. if you're hanging out with friends you can bring your partner along but your friends can't come on a date night with you because that's third-wheeling and it's weird. you can know somebody for most of your life and still be second-best to some guy they met on tinder 6 months ago. you're meant to just accept without question the fact that your friends will prioritise time with their partners over time with you. being single is treated like a problem that needs to be fixed. we casually use expressions like "just friends" or "more than friends". everything we read and watch reinforces the idea that romantic love is what gives life meaning and therefore your life is meaningless without it. i try to keep my chin up but my god it is bleak out there

Anonymous asked:

sorry if this is too tmi, but do you have any tips for body hygiene while taking T? specifically the crotch regions

my parents never really taught me that stuff as a kid so i had to learn it myself, and what had been working isnt working anymore with the changes T is causing. i start to stink much more now, and while i know its not bad or wrong to stink it is a little embarrassing and i dont know how to deal with it

thanks, feel free to not respond

You don't really need more than water, and maybe gentle, unscented soap. The major thing is cleaning underneath all the various folds of skin, especially under the hood of your bottom growth. While being careful to avoid over-washing, you may want to increase the frequency you clean your genitals as T often causes an increase in sweat. Changing hormones can cause a change in body odor smell, so you may be noticing the smell more because it's no longer what you were use to.

Just in case, you may also want to look into bacterial vaginosis, particularly if you've noticed redness, itching, or pain while urinating. It can also cause changes to vaginal smell. If you have a doctor you are comfortable seeing, it's never a bad idea to talk to them.

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Anonymous asked:

yeah, but you do mean 'loveless' like 'romanceless' right? Just cause you're not interested in a romantic partnership, and you're never attracted to anyone romantically, that doesn't mean you can't love your family and your friends. Am I understanding wrong? I feel like it's a widely accepted concept that 'love' isn't just romantic, it's about caring about someone, no matter if they're your family or platonic friend or your pet.

No, "loveless" means love-less. Another anon also asked me to explain as well so:

"Lovelessness" in the aro context comes from the essay I Am Not Voldemort by K.A Cook. The essay confronts normative ideas on love, its inherent positivity and what it means to not love. From the introduction, which brings up the question of non-romantic love:

This June, I saw an increasing number of positivity and support posts for the aromantic and a-spec communities discussing the amatonormativity of “everyone falls in love”. I agree: the idea that romantic love is something everyone experiences, and is therefore a marker of human worth, needs deconstruction. Unfortunately, a majority of these posts are replacing the shackles of amatonormativity with restrictive lines like “everyone loves, just not always romantically”, referencing the importance of loving friends, QPPs, family members and pets. Sometimes it moves away from people to encompass love for hobbies, experiences, occupations and ourselves. The what and how tends to vary from post to post, but the idea that we do and must love someone or something, and this love redeems us as human and renders us undeserving of hatred, is being pushed to the point where I don’t feel safe or welcome in my own aromantic community. Even in the posts meant to be challenging the more obvious amatonormativity, it is presumed that aros must, in some way, love. I’ve spent weeks watching my a-spec and aro communities throw neurodiverse and survivor aros under the bus in order to do what the aromantic community oft accuses alloromantic aces of doing: using their ability to love as a defence of their humanity. Because I love, they say, I also don’t deserve to be a target of hatred, aggression and abuse. But what if I don’t love? What if love itself has been the mechanism of the hatred and violence I have endured? Why am I, an aro, neurodiverse survivor of abuse and bullying, still acceptable collateral damage?

The author criticizes the idea of "true love" that is incapable of harm. Ze questions why we construct love in that way, and how it ignores and simplifies the experiences of victims of abuse ("It’s comforting to think that a love that wounds isn’t real love, but it denies the complexity of experience and feeling had by survivors. It denies the complexity of experience and feeling that makes it harder for us to identify abuse and escape its claws. It denies the validity of survivors who look at love and feel an honest doubt about its worth, as a word or a concept, in our own interactions and experiences.") Ze talks about being forced to say "I love you" to transphobic, abusive parents whose feelings of love was the justification for their abuse.

The core of what "loveless" as an concept is about is summed up in this quote:

There is no substantial difference between saying “I’m human because I fall in love”, “I’m human because I love my friends” and “I’m human because I love calligraphy”. All three statements make human worth contingent on certain behaviours, feelings and experiences. Expanding the definition of what kinds of love make us human does nothing but save some aros from abuse and antagonism … while telling survivor and neurodiverse aros, who are more likely to have complex relationships to love as a concept or are unable to perform it in ways recognised by others, that we’re still not worthy.

Lovelessness is against any kind of statement which quantifies humanity (and implicitly, human worth) in the ability to feel or act or experience certain things. Humans are human by virtue of being human, and nothing else. And, it is socially constructed! "Love" has no natural definition! Some people are not comfortable using "love" to describe positive feelings and relationships, and some people do not feel those positive feelings in general. And those people deserve the right to define their own experiences and their own relationship to the social construct of love.

In essence, lovelessness is both a personal as well as (in my opinion) a political identity, born from aro and mad experiences that challenges not just amatonormativity but all ideas that associate personhood and worth with the ability to feel certain things.

& as a note, there is also the term "lovequeer" which describes using the term "love" in ways which contradict mainstream understandings of what it means to love, and which kinds of love are considered worthwhile.

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hey writers- if you're ever working on a story, and you hear a voice telling you to make all your characters aromantic, or polyamorous, or maybe even both, that's an angel talking. and you should listen

i'm regularly astounded by the cognitive dissonance some of yall have to accept that gender is a social construct with infinite possibilities with the capacity to be deeply personal and individual but still think there's a list of like 4 acceptable sexual orientations and if you go outside of that list or mix entries on that list or relate to them in a non-traditional way not only are you Breaking The Rules you're personally directly harming people who follow them

romance is lame and overrated i love mentor/mentee relationships in fiction and especially when theyre sort of fucked up

greatest hits:

- You started out as a bet/challenge to see if I could successfully wrangle the infamous Problem Child but oh whoops I got attached!

- You are my kind, bright-eyed protegé who would never do so much as rip a tag off a mattress. anyway I am going to acquaint you with Criminal Activity

- I showed you genuine kindness and it was maybe the first time you’d ever experienced it and accidentally ended up becoming more of a parent to you than your “real” blood family ever was. Uh. Do you want to play catch in the park or

- I will gladly take any punishment meant for you. I would go to the ends of the earth to protect you, even if it meant I had to die in the process. I would do it a thousand times over, and I wouldn’t regret any of it.

- I taught you how to fight, and now through some circumstance or another, I’m forced to engage you in life-or-death combat without holding back.

- I put you through training from hell to make you the person you are today, for “your own good”, and now you’ve realized that you can hit back. And you can hit hard.

- I have made you into something greater than yourself - but you are changing from how I have designed you, and this is something I cannot allow.

- I taught you everything you know, and it was the greatest mistake I’ve ever made.

- I will make you just like me - by force, if necessary.

stop taggin this with ships / “and then they kiss” / “but what if it WAS romantic” you are missing the whole point of this post so bad. this is a Certified Aro Post. get weird about platonic dynamics NOW

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