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saayad jeevan mero, bhram nai besi bhayo

@neeshachar / neeshachar.tumblr.com

paarijat | 20 | perpetually purposeless. | inappropriately unhinged about fictional women |
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The thing I was thinking the most while watching Conclave was actually a classmate I had in uni who is a nun. She talked about the role of women on the church and how there should be a woman pope. And like, years ago she was given a scholarship to study philosophy in Rome, except she couldn't. Because the nuns had to perform all the domestic labor for the priests and the workload was too big, add to that stuff like how no one could leave the dinner table before the archbishop and he liked to talk so sometimes he would make everyone stay until late at night and ofc the nuns had to clean up after that, or when the priests wanted to give the nuns an easy day they would decide they would have a picnic, but the nuns still had to prepare their picnic. My friend just couldn't find the time to study, so she dropped her scholarship and came back to Mexico.

And Conclave does such a good job of making this work visible, even when if only Sister Agnes speaks, there is always shots of nuns working. For everything the priests do, it's always shown how the nuns make it possible. Benítez standing out early on for being the one person to thank them. The film ending on a seemingly unrelated shot of nuns walking.

It's a very poignant statement given how reproductive labor is often invisibilized.

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conclave dares to ask the question "what if you didn't want to be pope but eveyone and everything was conspiring for you to be pope and the moment you decide that maybe you should be pope god immediately and dramatically explodes a wall to tell you to stop being stupid"

Your name is Ianthe.

You have a sister. "I love you," she says.

"I love you," you say, and you are happy.

You have parents. "Love me," you say.

"Your sister is so beautiful," they say.

You are a necromancer. You have a talent, a real talent. Your sister does not.

"They won't love me now," she cries.

"I love you," you say. You can be enough necromancer for both of you. You have a talent. Your parents are pleased.

"Love me?" you ask.

"Your sister is so gifted," they say.

God summons you to be his hand. You are patient. You are diligent. You are so fucking talented. You are the first to find the way.

"Eat me", your sister begs.

"But I love you!" you refuse.

"You don't love me," she cries.

There's another girl. Quiet. Avoidant. As talented as you. She learns from your example. She finds the way.

"Eat me," her cavalier demands.

"But I love you," she refuses.

"Love me," you whisper.

She tells you to shatter her mind.

You are with God. You passed His tests. You claimed His power. You did it all by yourself. "Love me," you demand.

"Would you like some tea, Harrowhark?" he says.

She's still with you. Her mind is broken. Her talent is spent. Her power is failing. She has destroyed herself for her love. Love me, you think.

The end approaches. Her doom is nigh. You can survive. You can save her. "Love me," you beg.

"I could never love you," she spits.

The end comes, and then goes. God lives by your intervention alone. His other hands are dead. He is broken. All his power is yours. The entire universe spreads out before you, ripe for the taking.

"Love me!" you scream.

"Love me," you sob.

Love me.

Your name is Ianthe. And you are alone.

me making posts about my brand new niche interest no one really cares about but i m free because i will never get tired of talking to myself forever

Right, fuck this. In the spirit of ‘be the change you want to see’, I think we should celebrate Assad Zaman, because fuck knows AMC won’t, so someone has to step up to the plate.

Here’s a Ten Things I Love About Assad’s Performance As Armand list:

  1. The way his voice cracks ever so slightly on the word donated in the Louvre monologue. Also, the entire Louvre monologue.
  2. The hand acting. Thanks to @platoapproved for this gif set which illustrates what I mean.
  3. “Do you find me boring?” Like, obviously, all of 2x05, but that line reading, terrifying and obsessive and heartbreaking and childlike all at once.
  4. The stillness. The way he can be completely still and nevertheless absolutely mesmerising.
  5. Contrasted with gremlin mode in San Francisco when he is anything but still. This post from @hypermania is a great analysis of his physicality and acting choices in this scene.
  6. The micro expressions. The sixteen layers of emotions including three I’ve never even heard of before in some of the reaction shots. The way the directors clearly understand this and hold the camera on his face so that we can watch Assad showing us Armand’s brain at work without a word being said.
  7. His French accent.
  8. The way he sits down on the couch next to Madeleine.
  9. Just how fucking cool he looks on the motorbike in the hunting scene.
  10. Sauntering back into the Dubai apartment in his cunty sunglasses and tragically misplaced confidence.

Feel free to add your own thoughts in notes or reblogs. Let’s appreciate the hell out of him.

honestly i have to kinda disagree with that post thats like “being knightcore doesnt mean pro monarchy just swear ur undying loyalty to ur bff or ur crush or smth”

no. thats not what makes it sexy. either grapple with your beloved master’s role as a symbol of the state or choose to ignore it entirely and remain their loyal hound to whatever end, uncaring of the structures of power which you serve. become naught but a blade, the burden of your choices left to settle in the hand that wields you. it’s not about being besties forever it’s about OWNERSHIP and DUBIOUS MORALITY and FRANKLY QUESTIONABLE POWER DIFFERENTIALS

I haven’t been on tumblr for quite as long as a lot of people but over several years I’ve noticed this interesting gradual sorta,, shift in the general culture? that it went from this mostly depressed, nihilistic outlook where people would regularly joke about hating themselves and being hopeless and depressed, to a wave of vehemence of “STOP hating everything actually the world is Good and you deserve love!!!” type posts, to now, where those aggressive ‘PSAs’ have faded away and instead I regularly see people romanticizing simple things like stars and hot tea and rainy mornings, and waxing poetic about their friends, and just trying to put love out there. and I don’t know exactly what that means (someone who knows more than me could probably say something smart about generational expression and trauma or popular perception of mental health and whatnot), but I do know that it makes my heart very full to see people learn to love the world and themselves by extension, and a whole userbase adopting healthier coping mechanisms, and therefore teaching the younger users to do so as well. I might just be following different people, but I really do think we’ve grown. everyone has grown. five years ago it wasn’t unusual for the next post on my dash to be a scathing commentary on why nothing matters or an anon ripping into someone they barely knew or someone complaining about how pathetic their interests are. now I have mutuals who get excited and spam reblog art of cows and friends I see tagging each other in pictures of frogs and strangers writing paragraphs about how much I matter. it makes me happy. idk. just an observation I wanted to make. I think people are good and everyone’s just trying their best at the end of the day

I take it all back everyone on this site is toxic

its just embarrassing when you make a fandom related post and it doesnt get any notes like okay. so no one want to play tuoys with me. no one wants to play with our little guys together. okay thats fine. yeah its cool... puts my hands in my jacket pockets. kicks a beer can that was on the side of the road a little

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diosapate-deactivated20240313

harrow and ianthe in book 1: i hate being so good at my job i have bested every single necromancer from my house. i am better than you. i am going to become a lyctor and serve at the right hand of god. and it isnt even going to be hard

harrow and ianthe in book 2:

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