homunculus facts¡

•i liëk eggş,, evěn wħen scrambmbleded•

behold his limbs¡ this is no mere scrambled egg¡

•mayaebebe a lïttle scrambłed••• metaphorićally•

homunculus facts¡

•i liëk eggş,, evěn wħen scrambmbleded•

Can you seal a sealing gem in another sealing gem?

Sealing crystal goblin limit?

Can goblins in a sealing crystal export slime?

Goblin slime tutorial?

EXTRAY EXTRAY, LOCAL GREEN WIZARD NOT ONLY MISTAKES TUMBLR POST FOR GOOGLE SEARCH BAR, BUT ENDS EVERY SEARCH QUERY WITH A QUESTION MARK LIKE AN 80 YEAR OLD MUNDANE BOOMER!!!!

Ah shit.

Hey Siri, can I seal my rival into a crystal over the phone?

Ah fuck, my text to speech is on and I can’t reach my phone.

No, you tiny green bastard, don’t press post!

•tëëhëë•

Wizard wanders wearily

Looking for a pub

When he finds none easily

He shrinks down to a grub

If there’s no bar by leg or man

Then an insect bar will do

The drinks are cheap with human coins

But the drinks are small and few

I think that @numamazza drink there often•

•iffff ŷou seè Bobby Beetle thêre,, tell hǐm I néed thať boddle bacķ•

homunculus facts¡

I'm doing my part! Wait, what are those last two bullet points about???

This is why I made my homunculus instead of catching a wild one. Also better than making millions to use in mostly unsupervised capacities, to have them later escape and outcompete local populations of homunculus. If any wizard does do that.

• yeaħ,, anŷ wižard•

Wizard bread in the wizard toaster

Pops back up with an image like a poster

Pop it down and think good thoughts

Comes up with a picture of Michael Jordan from the aughts

Reinstall my standard toaster. This is my final message.

And with that attitude, you’ll never taste sourdough that bears the image of the movie theatre poster for Muppet Treasure Island…

I need a quick couple of pieces of toast in the morning. This thing takes a fucking hour.

Good things come to those who wait. But I guess it’s those who wait in my wizard tower’s dungeon now. 😔

yippee yay yippee¡ i can sneak in and eat hot bread¡

• mïne looks like Willemium (^_^ )!¡

Wizard making Wizard cognac

Best for sipping while in a flying kayak

Reduced from wine stolen from gnomes

Distilled with the fire of the same gnomes' homes

Slightly evil, but it is a very easy life hack

For when a wizard makes some wizard cognac

i want to drink that cognac while slaying and eating gnomes•

If your maester is okay with it, I can let you and @numamazza take a pint of it out to the woods to slay gnomes. It’ll be like a camping weekend.

Go nuts! Eat gnomes with wild abandon.

•yaeyaeayayeyayeayeeyeyeayey¡!¡i¡

٩(>ᗜ<)و

Fighter fighting with a knife

Training to protect his life

In one hand a great big shield

To block the weapon the enemy wields

An end to any combatant’s strife

When they become a fighter fighting with a knife

Sneaky thief who throws a dagger

Steals from grocery store bagger

Face obscured by soft dark cowl

Hides the thief's unnerving scowl

They know he has the moves like Jagger

That funny thief who throws the dagger

•adn looök at mě,, iamb noț a familiar

but a rangeř’s companion animal creatùre•

Wizard on a bicycle, but it’s the tandem kind

But wizard is quite single, no one to ride behind

But wizard is a crafty one, so he borrows a clone

From a dimension of lots of fun, now neither rides alone

i,m telling @numamazza which solution to this problem you chose• i think he will find it very interesting•

(´◕︵◕`) ewe prommiséd aye coùld try mŷ looooooong leg spêll!¡!

betrayẽd!¡!

Ah shit, I forgot about that spell you were practicing! I’m sorry Numzy!

Now I need to find a 3 seat bicycle…

I see how it is.

Dammit! Okay, before I go searching out a new bike, who else wants in on this?

well' since you asked•••

and i hope you don,t mind' but i,m also going to invite @concoctionboy• idk if he can ride a bike' but i suspect he can•

I mean, I've... never tried? I've never really had access to a bike. Is it hard?

I mean, with your shape shifting, I was gonna ask if you could be the bike?

Well, I've never been a bike before either, but sure, I'm always up for trying new things.

Yay, bike friends on a friend bike!

Bike friends on a friend bike!

bike friends on a friend bike¡

bike friends on a friend bike¡

Wizard on a bicycle, but it’s the tandem kind

But wizard is quite single, no one to ride behind

But wizard is a crafty one, so he borrows a clone

From a dimension of lots of fun, now neither rides alone

i,m telling @numamazza which solution to this problem you chose• i think he will find it very interesting•

(´◕︵◕`) ewe prommiséd aye coùld try mŷ looooooong leg spêll!¡!

betrayẽd!¡!

Wizard distilling wizard poitín

Not potion, but spirits from taters, so keen

Slug it back while you head to county McLean

While you pluck on your mandolin like a fiend

And scarf down some shepherds pie topped with magic cheese

And dancing a jig with the rest of the team

When a wizard distills some wizard poitín

for today only' homunculi can be created using the poitín•

• and foor thǎt aye dañce a jíg!¡i¡! (ノ^o^)ノ

[lyrics under the read more]

waow

wawo

A wizard that has her magic lair hidden within a river bank.

It’s got clay deposits for the wizard to make her earthen creations.

Vials for potions and vases for flowers that have a magical stank.

And of course clay figures that can move to do her chores and minor frustrations

ooh¡ early homunculus facts¡ since these are made of clay' they do not strictly qualify as homunculi•

But would you still play with them down at the crick?

i would happily dig for bugs in the crick with these dudes•

• ï wíll wearrr mye toiny overǎlls 4 ittttt¡!i¡¡!

I travelled down the road back to my tow’r

Along the way I passed a curious man

A simple man of no great looks or pow’r

But a strange thing seemed hidden in his hand

He offered me a choice upon the spot

A gold coin was the price that I would pay

Exchanging for what this strange man has got

But he would not reveal til payments made

The choice was so perplexing at the time

So many things the stranger could possess

I knew not what I’d gain if I complied

But curiosity won I confess

The coin was giv’n, and then I did linger

Then that little fuck gave me the finger

ಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಡ

ಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಡ

HOMUNCULUS FACTS!

• soom timês i sneeeek in a capïtaI “i” with a upper case “l” •

The Wizard makes candy so wizardly so sweet

Wizard make candy transmuted from meat

Wizard Candy full of protein and jazz

Helps with your workout to get a wizardly ass

my candy is also made of meat• but i didn,t transmute it•

•and yoũr ass iş awl the morë wizardly 4 it•

Making snow wizards

Don’t forget big naturals

For good old Gandalf

Hell yeah brother wiz, big boobs make a wizard great! Even in the snow!

i amb afraid that

The lärge orbs that hang from him

Will fall and crush meeeeee