fucked up in the club drinking a can of yoshi's drink

Mutuals line up I'm giving you all one of these bad boys

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Kitty masterpost

PIE AND HER BABIES!

i have crazy garlic fingers from peeling and chopping garlic cloves yesterday this phenomenon is always fascinating to me because it reminds me that i, too, am made of meat, and therefore i am also susceptible to being seasoned

having a cat is so miraculous. this little guy wants to sleep in my bed with me and purr on my chest. it’s his favorite hobby. no one told him to do that he just Loves His Mommy

nevermind he’s extremely naughty and has terrorized multiple people this morning

[Image description: There are 7 images that are screen caps of tiktok user @/chris.irish.rd's video

Image 1: Reminders from a slightly angry dietitian

Image 2: Consuming soy is not going to lower your testosterone, but consistently underfueling will

Image 3: Just because the body CAN function with minimal carbohydrates doesn't mean it is "healthy" or preferred

Image 4: Your brain needs carbohydrates to understand Severance

Image 5: If you're hungry an hour after eating, there is a reason. You're allowed to eat again

Image 6: Food is personal and it can serve many purposes. You don't have to justify your eating

Image 7: You aren't supposed to weight the same as you did in high school or college /end ID]

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

I think...you might be right

what the fuck

See you space cowboy.

god this is embarrassing imagine saying this. imagine saying these words in that order. imagine thinking that thats an own. i genuinely cannot think of a more succinct way of saying "ive never listened to a single green day song before" elon did you really think you were the good guy in american idiot. are you kidding me. kill yourself

imagine being the literal richest person in the world and not thinking you're the machine

love green day for pissing off these losers with the same song for two decades and counting.

I FUCKING LOVE GREEN DAY!

anerican choese

my grandma sent me a picture of my dog with his new xmas present and i need a fucking inhaler LOOK AT HIM

oh to feel a fraction of the unbridled joy he is experiencing

YOURE ALL SO MEAN TO MY BOY

I drew your boy

HOLY SHIT

choosing to allocate spoons to hanging out and having a good time at the cost of perfectly completing all your work is not a failing it is in fact an act of survival. “too sick to work = too sick to play” is in fact ableist bullshit that you don’t have to buy into. and the fact that leisure time is treated like a privilege is a fucking travesty

today i went for a drive and saw a big ass Jeep with the license plate P@P@ BE@R and a window sticker that said “Bought with Daddy’s Money…and I’m Daddy” and I sped up my car a bit to look through the driver’s window and prayed that I’d see what i hoped to see and sure enough there was a big chunky bear with a big ol beard driving the car with this twink chewing gum on his phone in the passenger seat and even though the window was tinted i could see was another one in the back seat…and the world was right for that single moment