★☆☆☆☆

Tried drawing with a mouse on my school computer never again

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

this duck LOVES pink drink

"id like a hamburger..........................with cheese" well you're getting staples

conversation with my surgeon after I hit my head on a windowsill

“Pierre philosophale” (2013) by Les frères Chapuisat - A stone sculpture humorously juxtaposes a cigarette within a rock’s slit, blending natural form with human artifact.

Bro even the rocks in France be smoking

that’s Saturn Devouring His Son, by Francisco Goya

SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?

I wish I spoke Spanish, this probably says something really beautiful

ah yes the average teenager’s keyboard shortcuts, the lenny face, the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoji, the ability to make ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* these things appear *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ , and a message to my parents and brother in case my school gets shot up and i dont have time to send personized messages to everyone

It's called the Lenny face?! XD

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* this should not be your takeaway from this post*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

SpongeBob was in Food Wars.

Well? Did he win?

I think so, yeah.

s

It knows.

do you think the first bug to pollinate a plant was classified as a monsterfucker by the other bugs

think I'm good on this one

I would put my chained up twink there

Look at that face. I would give that face anything. Photo from my collection, ca. 1940s.

You too can experience the Odyssee thanks to the wonders of the Deutsche Bahn