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Hopepunk

@oursecret-garden

Main: autie-hobbit

I have been thinking a lot about what a cancer diagnosis used to mean. How in the ‘80s and ‘90s, when someone was diagnosed, my parents would gently prepare me for their death. That chemo and radiation and surgery just bought time, and over the age of fifty people would sometimes just. Skip it. For cost reasons, and for quality of life reasons. My grandmother was diagnosed in her early seventies and went directly into hospice for just under a year — palliative care only. And often, after diagnosis people and their families would go away — they’d cash out retirement or sell the house and go live on a beach for six months. Or they’d pay a charlatan all their savings to buy hope. People would get diagnosed, get very sick, leave, and then we’d hear that they died.

And then, at some point, the people who left started coming back.

It was the children first. The March of Dimes and Saint Jude set up programs and my town would do spaghetti fundraisers and raffles and meal trains to support the family and send the child and one parent to a hospital in the city — and the children came home. Their hair grew back. They went back to school. We were all trained to think of them as the angelic lost and they were turning into asshole teens right in front of our eyes. What a miracle, what a gift, how lucky we are that the odds for several children are in our favor!

Adults started leaving for a specific program to treat their specific cancer at a specific hospital or a specific research group. They’d stay in that city for 6-12 months and then they’d come home. We fully expected that they were still dying — or they’d gotten one of the good cancers. What a gift this year is for them, we’d think. How lucky they are to be strong enough to ski and swim and run. And then they didn’t stop — two decades later they haven’t stopped. Not all of them, but most of them.

We bought those extra hours and months and years. We paid for time with our taxes. Scientists found ways for treatment to be less terrible, less poisonous, and a thousand times more effective.

And now, when a friend was diagnosed, the five year survival odds were 95%. My friend is alive, nearly five years later. Those kids who miraculously survived are alive. The adults who beat the odds are still alive. I grew up in a place small enough that you can see the losses. And now, the hospital in my tiny hometown can effectively treat many cancers. Most people don’t have to go away for treatment. They said we could never cure cancer, as it were, but we can cure a lot of cancers. We can diagnose a lot of cancers early enough to treat them with minor interventions. We can prevent a lot of cancers.

We could keep doing that. We could continue to fund research into other heartbreaks — into Long Covid and MCAS and psych meds with fewer side effects and dementia treatments. We could buy months and years, alleviate the suffering of our neighbors. That is what funding health research buys: time and ease.

Anyway, I’m preaching to the choir here. But it is a quiet miracle what’s happened in my lifetime.

I love personalization. I love stickers on water bottles and on laptops. I love shitty marker drawing on the toes of converse. I love hand embroidered doodles on jeans. I love posters on walls. I love knick knacks on shelves. I love jewelry with goofy charms. I love when people take things and make them theirs.

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

  • the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years
  • taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult
  • at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)
  • 'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65
  • it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age
  • it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.
  • you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.
  • young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!
  • there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

my youngest friend (he turned 1 a few weeks ago) has discovered the joy of blowing bubbles, or rather of other people blowing bubbles for him, and he has a delightful way of expressing his joy re: the sudden appearance of bubbles for no reason other than his amusement. I'll be blowing bubbles for him with the little plastic wand, and he'll reach out his grabby little hands for some and just twist his head around to watch others float away, and after a few bursts of bubbles he'll get overwhelmed with the sheer joy of existing and seeing beautiful things and he'll reach out as if to take the plastic bottle of bubble liquid from me, so I'll twist the lid back on as tight as I possible can because I know that little dude would chug the whole thing if we let him, and then I'll hand him the sealed container and he'll swing it around with delight a few times before thrusting it back toward me or dropping it straight in my lap, so that I can continue to make more bubbles happen to him. and there's just something really beautiful about this guy who has very few ways of expressing himself or communicating his thoughts finding a way to express that he loves this by taking the source of his joy only so he can hand it back to me over and over, to say this is good. good things happen when you have this. let's please keep doing this.

i’m so appreciative to suzanne for reframing the rebellion from the original trilogy as a “they saw their moment and took it” type situation and showing us that they’ve been trying, over and over, with so many failed attempts, to break the arena and incite a rebellion for decades. in this current political climate never giving up hope is so essential. haymitch wasn’t the first nor the last, and they kept going even when it seemed completely futile, and that’s what counts, and what ultimately saves them all.

Ilya Kaminsky, from "While the Child Sleeps, Sonya Undresses", Deaf Republic

[Text ID: "Soaping together / is sacred to us. / Washing each other's shoulders. / You can fuck / anyone—but with whom can you sit / in water?" / End ID.]

[ID: All of the best things in life require a degree of embarrassment, or at least the possibility of it. Dancing, singing, sharing art, cooking food, having sex, holding hands; there is risk in it all. You could burn dinner or sing off key; no act of self expression or love is exempt from this danger. End ID]

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