it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

Like a half hour after taking pain relief meds: oh actually it doesnt hurt anymore i probably didnt even need to take those

feeling guilty dot com

HEARTBREAKING: band you just discovered doesn't have any other songs that sound like that

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

they don't make staying up until 3am fun and exciting like they used to

you ever listen to a song 47 times in a row and every time you’re like wow what a good song. I’m gonna play it again.

lately ive been bedridden with a terrible case of i dont wanna

your honor i was just furthering the plot

I think sitting on the floor of the ocean for a few hours would fix me

I should be a shipwreck

the answer to all my problems is upping my screen time from 16hrs a day to 20. im pretty sure

maybe i was made for loving things. maybe that's what life is all about.

there’s something very wrong with me, it’s called ‘I don’t want to do anything, ever’ and they said it’s chronic

the spirit is not willing and the flesh it is not so into the idea either

I love music so much, I hope I'm a pair of headphones in my next life

“Based on your likes!” and it’s the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen in my life