Catch Me @ The Market Dressed Like Bilbo Baggins

There are three breeds of cat:

Chonk

Goblin

Yeah that looks like a cat

Subcategories of breeds:

Floof

Naked

Normal

This is my favorite post

quite literally me when i am lying

transcript:

woman: why are the heard and mcdonald islands, which don't export to the united states, and are quite literally inhabited by penguins -- why do they face 10% tariffs? did you use AI to generate this?

man: [extremely nervous and suspicious laughter] ehehehe..... no.....

The Chinese dad with a theory that sounds genuinely spot on.

"what even happens in the magnus archives" Everything Happens In The Magnus Archives. it's all in there. you name something that is in any way scary or unpleasant then it's in there somewhere. if you have a niche phobia or recurring nightmare of any kind, no matter how obscure you may believe it to be, then one day you are going to queue up an episode and listen to the intro music play and then they'll read out the title "episode 42069, catching you in 4k" and recite your own personal worst fear Directly into your ear canals, in exactly the words you would use to describe it. the sixth episode is about exploding worm sex that kills you. and then there are 194 more episodes after that.

And yet we never get an episode that fleshes out the buried in a non-literal ‘scary mud’ way,

typical politicians. All cock and no cum

Actually I rather liked the ep that compared The Buried to being buried in financial debt! If I remember correctly the statement giver was losing his home and it started manifesting as an unending downpour and flooding. After that ep I always saw The Buried's non literal interpretation to be being buried in debt, expectations or societal weight. Being at a point in your life where you feel like you're drowning and can't come up for air. Like how the corruption's non literal meaning is unhealthy relationships rather than the usual bugs and rot

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

Working at Home Depot, we find a lot of friends in Garden. Unfortunately, we don’t let them hitch a ride while we work, because we go inside a lot during spring and summer. Plus we have a couple customer service ladies that will “kill us” if we get within twenty feet of them with a critter. It’s their loss though, because we find lots of frogs and toads, my friend found what we think are male and female praying mantis with 30mins or so of each other last year, a giant snail (biggest we’ve ever seen in garden since I started 4yrs back) and a bee that needed a snack and warm sun.

awow. awow. awow. Awow. awowAwowawowAwow awow awow awow. bup bup bupbup bup bup bup bup bup. if you even care

btw. if you even care btw. btw

@aroyalbirb

Love them sm

“Bro where u at we not supposed to be in heree”

always hilarious the lengths mammal moms will go to to retrieve a nearly-grown child from a situation of their own making. get back here

*holds you in my mouth perfectly safe between my sharp teeth bc i love you*

75% decrease in insect biomass within my lifetime and I'm supposed to care about cover letters

Olimar and the veteran red pikmin from the comic

Karlach x Rodrigo bridal carry (1/3)

baby cats very cute

tattoo happening ooug ouwch

my skin

I’ve never come across a more threatening magnet