⋆feral faerie⋆

reading my orthodox bf lady lazarus on lazarus saturday

i am so full of dread n anxiety plz ask me silly questions to distract me from the horrors 🫶

bruh i think i need to quit the band im in

i spent the night painting layer over layer of a deep periwinkle paint over a wooden box that absorbed the paint before it could dry

it is a sisyphean task, to make a final place for these final traces of fur plucked from the floor and from the hungry threads of our sweaters

even the paint itself is taken from a case that is chewed past its ability to contain, but now i can’t bear to part with its remnants

one day i will meet a healing that does not feel like betrayal; one day i will allow myself to grow around the memory, not to bury it, but hold it

i am still learning how to lighten my grip on the past, so as to not pierce my palms. i am leaning into growing old with this grief, and in that way so will you