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Blatherskite Is My Middle Name

@queenofthefaces / queenofthefaces.tumblr.com

(Adult/not a minor)
"fucking superb you funky little keysmasher"

Whoever wrote that Vanguard message did so with shaking hands, between sobs & swigs of bourbon straight from the bottle.

They're right, though. Now is exactly the wrong time to make dramatic investment moves. Everybody's shit is doing the same thing; unless you need your retirement money in the next twelve months or whatever, you're better off leaving it alone and waiting for the eventual correction. Like, this is not a comforting lie, this is good advice!

Adultier adult here, having had to talk to my retirement management people earlier this week. (I hate it. It's useless. But I told them to divest me from anything that holds TSLA in the portfolio/fund because Elon is an asshole and the company's financials are shit.)

This week has caused about three percent (3%) of my 401(k) to vanish.

And that's okay.

I can't touch that money without a tax penalty (or emergency) until the 2030's. It's not paying for cat food or keeping my electricity on. This is a privilege not everyone enjoys (yet).

If you're in a position to have any kind of investments, don't do anything rash and/or bananas with important chunks of money. (My financial guy gave me this advice, too. I specifically asked about cashing out the whole fucking thing.)

Yes. 100% this.

My qualifications: I worked in banking & mortgage for 10 years & had my Series 6, 63, and insurance licenses. I was qualified to sell mutual funds and annuities.

Obligatory: None of this constitutes specific financial advice. Please consult your financial professional who has an active license for specific advice.

That said, generally speaking, if someone has a 401k or IRAs and other retirement investments and they don't need to access them right now, don't fucking touch it. Don't even look at it. If they don't feel comfortable putting more money into it right now, that's understandable, and they can turn their contributions off (though it might not make sense to do so, depending on their tax bracket - traditional 401k contributions are pre-tax, so putting that money back in their taxable income may just turn that money into income tax payments, and that's not even considering employer matching, which is Free Money).

Shit is wild right now, but that money is not Real Money until you cash it out. All of your losses and gains are Schroedinger's Gains and Losses. Until you open the box - that is, make a withdrawal - those losses aren't realized. And since you will end up with absolutely ridiculous tax penalties if you take money out of retirement accounts early outside of a few specific circumstances, opening the box early is a bad idea.

So, since the losses aren't real until you open the box, and you can't open the box until years from now without getting like half the cat taken by the IRS, don't even think about looking at the box and seeing the predicted percentage of alive cat that you might find inside there.

Another financial professional here. I second all of this.

If you're lucky enough to have a retirement account, the best strategy is always to ride the market waves. Decades of numbers and returns back this up. Don't move or pull your money. Don't stop contributing. Especially if you are many years away from retirement.

Think long term, not short term. In the long run, the stock market still averages returns every year.

That said, I fully understand taking positions in your portfolio for moral reasons. If you want to sell any funds that have TSLA in them, and your advisor thinks that won't screw you up too bad, you do you, boo.

(Also, that email is funny, but it's very obviously fake. Telling you to not look at your 401k is not something a company should be doing, legally speaking.)

Even without words, we communicate through our eyes.

  1. THEN PERISH
  2. Was anyone going to tell me, or….
  3. It’s free real estate
  4. I love you. (Here’s the latest news)
  5. Live slug reaction
  6. __ ? In my __? It’s more likely than you think.

And some highlights from the notes:

  1. Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does.
  2. THIS PERSON?!
  3. the WHAT
  4. Yeah, yeah, we’ve all seen it

jigsaw's traps are so inaccessible. like the tapes don't even have subtitles or give you the chance to replay them before the timer starts in case you didn't hear them the first time. honestly having a timer at all is not very inaccessible, some of us move slower for many reasons, physical or neurological obviously, so what about offering a time extension? 🤨 it's not like it'd hurt his business model or smth. come on man. we shoulr report him...

choosing to allocate spoons to hanging out and having a good time at the cost of perfectly completing all your work is not a failing it is in fact an act of survival. “too sick to work = too sick to play” is in fact ableist bullshit that you don’t have to buy into. and the fact that leisure time is treated like a privilege is a fucking travesty

I’ve been listening to the people in the apartment below me have arguments for two years now and I still can’t figure out what language they’re speaking. The best I can narrow it down is like if Portuguese and Hebrew had a baby. Is that a common pidgin combination

I just listened to a clip of this and jesus christ you fucking got it. there are like 3500 people in the whole united states who speak this and two of them are in a very fraught marriage four feet below me

we used to have normalized whump. remember what they took from you....

back in the day you could write about the most sickeningly vile atrocious war crimes happening to your blorbo and everyone was like. kyaaaaaaaa >w<. they just got it. they understood

What the fuck is whump

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zaraki-fempachi-deactivated2024

Don't worry about it kitten

wow! your understanding of this character is so. . . Unique! just wondering by the way but when was the last time you directly interacted with the source media

respectfully to everyone whos been like Well have you considered idc about the source media and im doing whatever i want with my little blorbos <3 like... you know thats allowed right. like thats fine. i am not condemning you. But you have to accept the fact that nobody has that context besides you unless you put that disclaimer on everything you make. and youre not gonna do that. so if i go into a character tag and see someone call the character, who is canonically a cat, a dog with no extra explanation with their whole chest, i am not going to go Ohhh haha theyre just playing dolls! i am going to go Just wondering by the way but when was the last time you directly interacted with the source media

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saintsatellite-deactivated20240

i hope everyone is ready to celebrate International Down With Cis day on April 4th.

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sherrybomb

happy down with cis day everyone

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discordagainstsjws

Happy international DWC Day y’all

Happy 10th Anniversary to the Down With Cis bus!! May it ride in triumph over the mangled bodies and piled skulls of our enemies! This a Holy Day!

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