help! my 324 month old (me) won’t sleep through the night and frequently has an upset tummy. is it time to start practicing rituals (blood sacrifice, soul-selling, etc?)
Reblogged
mixing some drinks to renew my gender reveal, whichever taste i find peace with will choose my path
midway check-in: the pink one tastes pink and by god the blue one tastes blue. when you drink them both together it tastes distinctly like pineapple. there is no pineapple in either one
okay i have consumed both to their fullest extent and i have come to the conclusjion that i….am….
DRUNK!!
pronouns are he/hinebriated
y’all are gonna make me regret this post in the morning arent you
Having seen the recipes I think you're gonna have regrets in the morning regardless
what ever could you mean
Reblogged mychemicallazaruspit
mixing some drinks to renew my gender reveal, whichever taste i find peace with will choose my path
midway check-in: the pink one tastes pink and by god the blue one tastes blue. when you drink them both together it tastes distinctly like pineapple. there is no pineapple in either one
okay i have consumed both to their fullest extent and i have come to the conclusjion that i….am….
DRUNK!!
pronouns are he/hinebriated
y’all are gonna make me regret this post in the morning arent you
Reblogged
mixing some drinks to renew my gender reveal, whichever taste i find peace with will choose my path
midway check-in: the pink one tastes pink and by god the blue one tastes blue. when you drink them both together it tastes distinctly like pineapple. there is no pineapple in either one
okay i have consumed both to their fullest extent and i have come to the conclusjion that i….am….
DRUNK!!
pronouns are he/hinebriated
Reblogged
the place i got my wife’s engagement ring from just sent me promos for…engagement rings. they really thought i fumbled so bad
clearly the play is polyamory
how do i inform selena that we’re APAJS (assigned polyamorous at jewelry store)
the funniest part actually is that it’s run by a 70 year old woman who looked confused as to which one of us—a cis woman and a trans guy with ample enough tit to not really pass—was getting engaged. she would probably faint at the idea of a polycule
Reblogged
who wants to hear today’s episode of “why my wife is upset”
she just found out that whole milk is not, in fact, 100% milk fat. she thought she was avoiding 98% of the fat by drinking 2%. she is 25 years old
“well how much IS it then?” *looks it up* “FUCKING 3%?????”
she regrets that she’s been missing out on whole milk by being scared of there being “too much milk in the milk.” can’t make this shit up