it has to end eventually right

rich people have a natural predator and its their friend's cousin's privately chartered cessna

CEO affirmations <3

I love seeing a meme and being like oh, tumblrs going to love this one

Peer reviewed tags.

Reblog today and you, too, can maliciously comply with facts of science.

i like sailing myths and superstitions because most of them can be boiled down to "if the ocean doesn't like you it will chew you up and spit out your bones. and if it really loves you it will swallow you whole and keep you forever. good luck 👍"

completely lirious and ranged. absolutely lusional. not only mented but fective, too. engaging in praved behavior. a real generate

not gonna lie, discovering the word “ough” changed me fundamentally as a person

I'm, above all else, a tangentgirl. always saying shit like "sidenote," "oh also," "by the way,"

what's this 'wife' business? nobody calls him Prince-Consort Mario

if Bowser kidnapped my plumbing client, I would be saying “wahoo” as long as those hours were billable

i still think reddit is the testing grounds for new types of people

genuinely how it feels trying not to be mean to people who leave stupid shit on my posts

Bruce Springsteen, 1984.

GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH

If you haven't heard of Julia Donaldson, she's primarily a picture book author, who we can thank for extremely popular Halloween classic Room on the Broom as well as the Gruffalo.

Let this be a testament to the power of picture books.

I'm living for these jokes.

Also I need "GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH" on a T-shirt.

To everyone considering paying 5 billion dollars per year to play gamecube games on switch

Take my hand. I can show you a better way

It works on ubuntu btw

Not to be a shit but that sounds like "poob has it for you"

The difference is that everything mentioned in this post is free

a few weeks ago i needed worcestershire sauce for a recipe but i didnt have any so i had to leave it out.

u are never gonna believe what i found in the cabinet today, unopened, probably has been there for months,

😔yuuuuuuup. my house is fucked

matt just fired half the remaining tumblr support staff lmao

from my sources adjacent to tumblr--from which i can spread rumors and insider information freely because i dont give a fuck about ever working in the tech sector--im hearing this round of firings was focused on purging the senior staff, and not just from support but from the entire remaining tumblr workforce. i'm hearing there are about 25 people left.