this might be one of the worst things anyones ever said to me

​tumblr has some competition in the hate mail game

look at my distinguished and handsome son 

He’s literally

:3c

I gave him some cheetos

He loves them

Gay Austin Powers would be like: yeah baby!

Moral of the story: gay people and straight people aren’t so different after all… 🙂

this scam text is so fucking funny i’ve been walking around my home repeating to myself “hi! i am in charge at goldman sachs”

THEY FUCKIN FORGOR

we’ve started regularly saying “Goose is on his wall”

I need to get into mobile game development so I can make puzzle games for middle aged moms. those women deserve better than predatory energy systems and weird fetish ads every 3 seconds. I could be the one to give them something better. I could give them a candy crush clone with SOUL.

"I fucked your mom" - weak, meaningless

"I made the match 3 app that turned your mom into an ipad baby" - brutal, devastating

I can move at an appreciable fraction of the speed of light

if you can appreciate numbers as small as I can

AA4

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

It is simply not fulfilling to enjoy media in the height of its popularity. You need to show up so late to the party that everybody else is gone and the hosts are asleep so you can rummage through their trash for chip dip and stale hors d’oeurves to eat alone in the dark like a dirty little raccoon secret

An important behind-the-scenes image btw

Oh For Fuck’s Sake

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits