sometimes when a movie starts there is a scary lion but don't be scared

yumblr

😋

what a good morning!! im gonna draw a dog!!

apRIL FOOLS I DREW TWO DOGS THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS

people have got to learn the difference between I didnt like it and It was bad

+ a secret, third thing

What is the science behind benches making your ass cold through 5 warm layers

@willowwispflame @thorny-on-main I love this site

A lot of the warmth in your "warm layers" is air. Air pockets make fantastic insulation. If you sit down, the weight of your body forces a lot of that air out and the cloth between you and the bench becomes much worse at insulating you, which is why the bench will get your butt long before the frosty air gets your covered arms.

Newbie outdoor hammock users sometimes make this mistake. Hammock people know that if you're camping somewhere with wind chill, you get a cover that insulates the OUTSIDE of the hammock. Everyone's got a story about the newbie who didn't want to waste money and decided to wrap themself in a really warm quilt only to freeze their arse off all night because there's no air in the quilt layers between them and the hammock so that wind chill cools the hammock and gets them from underneath.

#I knew it was the air in your warm layers and everything#but! idk I feel very strongly about the bench having hate in its heart and wanting you to suffer

That part is also true.

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from willowWispFlame reading: The bench has more mass and is at a much colder temperature than you. If the bench is made of metal, then it conducts heat easily through the entire material, making it less likely it is locally heated to your temperature. The 5 warm layers do much to insulate your body heat, but heat energy is still leeched away.

Reply from thorny-on-main reading: bench has hate in its heart and wants you to suffer with it (ass first) /End ID]

I don’t like being referred to as a boy

Woah mama I'll give anyone who misgenders you the Elvis Special (a bullet)

This account likely makes the list of “the last accounts I’d ever expect to be anywhere near my blog” but I appreciate it

Woah mama I'm one of your mutuals

WHAT

Achievement Unlocked:

All Shook Up

Learn an unexpected secret about your connection to an Elvis-themed gimmick blog.

girl are u insane. i fucking want you too!!!!!!!!!!

when can i fuck this annoying white slut

drinking blood from my submissive boytoy

the fuck kinda wuxia bartenders do they have in LA 😭 anyway would

the guy i wanna fuck seems to be some sort of dracula eugenicist well ok.

it's not really for a particular reason but im gonna post a review of this after i wrap up this route just because this is the type of indie game where some changes would make it so much better. but im having a good time!

he's so fucking real... volcels rise

oh of course your name is dorian. stupid slut

i think i'm actually falling for markus's character he's kinda sexy and mysterious...... shh

WE ARE GONNA FUCK

ok hi again mom im too shy to keep reading -////-

this is straight up x rated erotica out of nowhere???????

CHANDLER.

CHANDLER.

me playing this game: oh this mysterious gangsta vampire game is really picking up! i wonder what's gonna happen next in the plot! maybe i'll finally kiss my love interest :D

*clicks next dialogue option*

*markus is on the goth club dance floor, jacking off furiously and leaving marcum every where*

thinking about creatures.

look at this thing

Tumblr users will see some kind of animal or beast and just slam the reblog button

That is a banded linsang.

They sit very politely.

@otiksimr

This is a banded palm civet.

They look very anxious.

in loving memory of tumblr's april fools' pranks 💐 2014 - 2024

icymi, tumblr used to do an elaborate april fool's prank every year, but this year they suddenly stopped. here's a somewhat detailed recap of everything they did over the decade:

2013 - mishapocalypse (honourable mention): tumblr staff didn’t start doing april fools until 2014, but the mishapocalypse happened on tumblr in 2013 and i feel like this list would be incomplete without it

2014 - tumblrpro: upon opening your dash you were greeted by an “inspirational” video, that ended with the option to get “tumblrpro (for free)”. all it did was put a top hat on your icon.

2015 - tumblr executivesuite/coppy: a copying machine appeared in the corner of your dash. it would offer tips on how to use tumblr, like clippy the paperclip used to do in microsoft word. as the day went on, it slowly broke down and died right in front of your eyes. many people hated him (but not me). you could also make a (small) spreadsheet. @executivesuite2016 is the official blog.

2016 - this is decision/lizard election/tumblrdecides: a parody of the 2016 US elections. there were 4 lizards (well, one of them turned out to be a salamander in a scandal) to vote for. the dash looked different and there was a live news report with election updates, as well as an election blog for each lizard. they all had their own slogans and you would get an "i voted" button after you voted that would get slapped next to your icon. there were built-in functions to make an election poster for your favourite lizard and to create a text post that supported your lizard of choice that autogenerated a statement for all your followers to read. imo tumblr’s april fools peak. @thisisdecision2016-blog is the official blog, @mop-2016-blog @wretchedtooth @timefordeborah-blog were candidates. rick also had a blog (rick-official) but that now seems to have vanished because he ended up dropping out of the election. mop won, if you're curious. by far the most elaborate prank tumblr ever did.

2017 - horse friend: a tamagotchi-inspired game where you had to take care of a little horse in the corner of your screen. it came with a randomly generated name, and you had to feed and clean up after it. if you didnt take good care of it, it died. you could then hatch (yes, hatch) a new one. there was also an option to look at the names of all your dead horses. this is now available to buy in the tumblr shop. @horse-friends is the official blog.

2018 - tumblcoin: a parody of cryptocurrency (this was the year bitcoin took off). you could ‘invest’ in tumblcoin, with which you could in turn buy things with to spice up your dash, including last year’s horse friend, coppy from 2015, and a frame for around your icon. you could share the amount of tumblcoin you owned in an automatically generated gif post which would be tagged #tbc2018 and #tumblcoin. @tumblcoin is the official blog.

2019 - @memories: this blog still functions the way it did on april fools itself! it's like mad libs, where it takes post templates and then adds in tags you use a lot and users you frequently interact with on your main blog. like a personalized shitpost bot.

2020 - group chat prank/@storybot: it was so hard to find info on this because it was contained entirely in the now-defunct group chat function, which no one used. i had to go through the notes of this post for information because no one cared enough to actually write anything explaining it. turns out, you could write a story with your mutuals by adding storybot to your group chat. it also kept working after april fools (well, up until the group chats were deleted) just like memories. many people missed out on it entirely because they did not use the group chat function.

2021 - tumblcryptids: tumblr allowed you to adopt “non-fungible tumblcryptids”, a parody of NFTs. clicking a button that said "Summon thy Tumblrcryptid" would spawn an image of a little blob-shaped creature with a short description, which would always read "Hi! My name is [randomly generated name]. I love [thing most people like]. I hate [thing most people dislike]. Like my parent, I can't get enough of #[tag from your main blog]." you could share them in a post, which would automatically add the tag #NFTumblcryptids to your post. and yes, people on the piss on the poor website freaked out about it because they thought they were real NFTs harming the environment. @tumblcryptidadoptioncenter is the official blog.

2022 - click-a-thon: when you clicked a light switch on your dashboard, a bunch of colourful things showed up, like a sponge you could move around, an "engagament meter", clickable buttons, and a “Summon Crab!” button, which would summon a crab when you clicked it. you could. the crabs, like horse friend, are still available in the tumblr store as of 2025. here's some screenshots. there were various ways to share your crab activities, which would all get tagged #april fools 2022. the prank was presented as a marketing technique created by Brick Whartley, a fictional businessman character created by tumblr, who (afaik) originated in a post on the official blog of the 2018 april fools prank, albeit originally in a different role. around this time he also started functioning as the mascot for tumblr's shop ( @emporium )

2023 - abstract reactions (emoji reacts): buttons were added to every post that allowed you to add emoji reactions, many of them based on tumblr inside jokes (horse as a reference to horse plinko/horse friend, vanilla for the vanilla extract meme, pikaman, bug for bug race, and brick whartley, who wasn't a meme but staff really wanted him to be). if one specific emoji was used a certain amount of times it would add an effect to the post, eg many cheese emoji reacts would cover the post in cheese. this was also attributed to Brick Whartley ("his" blog @brickwhartley also documented the day)

2024 - boop-o-meter: allowed you to “boop” other users who had opted in to the booping, like facebook’s poke feature back in the day. depending on how long you held the button, you would either boop, super boop, or evil boop. on the dashboard there was a counter for both how many times you had booped others and how many times others had booped you, as well as how many boops were given side-wide. when booping someone, an image of a cat paw appeared. you would get badges (which can still be used) for booping 1, 100 and 1000 times. if you got more than 999 boops, the counter would simply say “WOW”. this was brought back for halloween 2024 (as BOOp-o-meter. get it), with a ghost, skeleton and mummy paw. no official blog, but here's an official recap for april first from staff. i believe this was the only april fools prank that was mobile user friendly.

2025 - @fandom is running some polls, i guess

every day i am hate-crimed by this cat

MY BROTHERS ADOPTED THIS CAT

SHE ISN'T ALLOWED TO PLAY WITH STRING BECAUSE SHE'LL EAT IT

Present day Spookers

The boss has arrived ...

250149

tamamita turned into null...

sad. oh well, there's other tamamitas

i know she ate a leek