rest in fucking pieces, mr. darcy

paintedtapestry THIS SCENE

#imagine being a woman reading this for the first time and throwing her bonnet on#racing as fast as she can down the street to pound on her friend’s door#WHAT PAGE ARE YOU ON DEAR HELEN#NEVERMIND I SHALL SIT WITH YOU UNTIL YOU REACH IT#IT IS MOST DIVERTING (via buckyonthelam)

Well, I didn’t see THAT coming.

Still one of my favorite things on the internet. 

get him

SLAAAAAY

I’M HOLLERING!

WHEELCHAIR BASKETBALL??????

THIS IS FUCKING HUGE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUCKING HUGE THIS IS GOING TO BE IN MAKING WHEELCHAIRS EVEN COOLER FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

WHEELCHAIRS SAVE LIVES

okay it’s come to my attention that absolutely NONE OF YOU know ANYTHING about how cutie marks work. let me say this simply. a cutie mark isn’t a job being assigned, it’s a special TALENT OR SKILL that the pony enjoys. Most of the time it has a directly transferable job for that skill, like if you enjoy baking and are super good at it WOW! baker. If you are really good at writing and telling stories, author. However, there are some cutie marks that could go multiple ways.

twilight sparkle has exceptional magic ability, so she became a scholar, but she could really do anything that required a good magic skill. same with rainbow dash, her weather controlling job isn’t directly linked to her cutie mark, but it does fit the bill for the job.

i was posed the question of what would a murderer pony’s cutie mark be and wouldn’t everyone know. NO. if somehow murder were to be a special skill, the cutie mark might be something like a knife or a shovel. other ponies might just assume you’re good a cooking or gardening. now with cutie marks like apple jacks, their family has a ‘green thumb’ kind of deal so obviously the cutie mark would be hereditary.

so, the reason i made this post. walter white pony’s cutie mark would NOT be blue crystals. it would be a CHEMISTRY FLASK.

Animorphs is my favorite romance book

Ok, but Tobias being able to say something out loud like a parrot would have been hilarious, especially because if he'd ever gotten it into his head that more birds should be able to talk if they just knew how, he'd try to do it *once* out of curiosity, then immediately hate it and never do it again. And, anatomically, it *should* work? I don't know how similar a red-tailed hawk's syrinx is to that of a crow or a parrot or a myna, but it can't be that different, right?

@sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel #Tobias says “Hi!” as a hawk once#It comes out all high and scratchy like a parrot with a chainsmoking habit#Marco just loses it#literally falls over from laughing too hard#And Tobias never does it again#Animorphs#Crack#Animorphs Crack

customer: can u check the back

me: sure! :)

me in the back:

Mouse Armor by Jeff De Boer

I love his stated intention behind these projects, ‘Confuse historians’.

Someone wanna provide context for the non-SDV people?

Saw this in the notes and figured I'd step in!

So, for non-SDV players, in most farming sims you can get married to certain characters and have children with them, however this is typically a permanent choice that can't be undone, so if you want to marry someone else or not have kids you would have to start over with a fresh save.

But SDV is different. The game has a witch's hut you can eventually unlock that lets you use...black magic, basically, to soft-reset marriage/children choices without starting over. There's a divorce option so you can ditch your spouse, but that's the only normal one. It also adds an option to turn your children into doves to get rid of them, hence OP saying they "birded" their kids. You're not...technically killing them...but only barely.

(It also adds an option to mind-wipe your previous spouse so they don't remember being married to you and thus don't hate you, and you can even remarry them then if you want, but I don't think that was needed for this, just figured it was sinister enough to warrant a mention.)

All that to say, the reddit OP married a character, progressed to the point that they had a child with them, and then used black magic to "kill" the child and divorce their spouse before moving on to the next marriage candidate and doing the same, over and over until they had gone through all twelve marriage candidates, resulting in a collection of twelve "dead" children.

Which, I must agree, is some uniquely unhinged behavior indeed.

Which, I must agree,

is some uniquely unhinged

behavior indeed.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Okay, but who is joja

Joja is essentially Walmart. You can either try to revitalize the town by going the community route and help local businesses and people thrive or you can sell the town to Jojacorp who will put the locals out of business and sell you way cheaper and shittier stuff

“I may use black magic to be a serial child murderer, but at least I’m not a capitalist”

i hated being 15 and wanted to die too, or at least have something change. now that i can look back, i can identify what, specifically, gets "better:"

-at 15 you have almost no control over your schedule, including sleep. the school system demands a sleep/wake cycle that's extremely unnatural and difficult to keep even for normal teenagers, and amounts to constant sleep deprivation (a form of torture) for nightowl teenagers. constant sleep deprivation or even just chronic disregulation fucks with your entire body, your hormones, and your mental health. it makes everything worse.

-as an adult, a lot of jobs do expect you to be a morning person, but at least your body is more likely to cooperate with a 9-5 work/sleep schedule, and you're also more free to take second shift or night shift work that suits you. as an adult you need less sleep than teenagers and have fewer authority figures in your life to get in the way of when and how much you nap.

-at 15 if you attend any school other than homeschooling, you're basically in jail that's also hell. everyone is a similar age to you and going through similar, or worse, problems, and they're going to take it out on everyone around them. you have very little ability to get away from bullies, and you're just fucked when your bullies are your teachers, your parents, your parents' friends. if you're attending homeschooling, you trade an inescapably crowded and stressful social situation for an inescapably isolated social situation, one where your parents have absolute authority over every part of your life. a solitary prison is even worse than crowded one.

-as an adult, a dysfunctional and abusive workplace has a huge impact on your mental and physical health, and many people do die or kill themselves because of a degrading and terrible job. however, as an adult, you're likely to have more power to chose your workplace, it's likely to be a shorter and less rigorous day than highschool+homework, and you get paid for it. plus, a good job is extremely empowering and satisfying.

-at 15 your body is growing and you need large, regular, balanced meals. lots of 15 year olds skip breakfast and have shitty lunches, because school is terrible. lots of 15 year olds have food insecurity or are on diets, either chosen or imposed, and this makes them depressed and emotionally volatile. at 15, you probably don't have very much positive control over your meals, since your parents are in charge of groceries and meal prep. just negative control, by skipping or refusing. replacing meals with soda or candy is also a problem-- your body craves a big hit of sugar at all times, because you're growing, but replacing meals and sleep with soda just leads to more disregulation. teens can easily get into really dysfunctional cycles this way.

-as an adult you have more time to eat and more control over what you eat. you have your own salary and make your own shopping lists. as an adult you're also not going through growth spurts anymore: your body grows and maintains itself through its whole life, but it's steadier. you work out what you like and you know how to get it.

IN CONCLUSION: at 15 you're depressed for a lot of good reasons. if someone has a grueling and unrewarding schedule that traps them with other miserable people all day, subject to hostile authority figures with no escape, and they're expected to do lots of work with few rewards and frequent punishment, they're going to be miserable. this is further compounded when a person has a rapidly growing body that can't possibly get a healthy amount of nourishment and rest. these are the conditions that reliably cause depression.

as an adult, we're telling you "it gets better" because in about four years you will be free of so much of what's making you miserable right now. to eat food you like, to rest as much as you need, to work a paying job or chase your own dreams, to decide what kind of life you want to live. it might not sound like much, but it's everything.

I kinda like whatever the hell Morrigan and Alistair have going on. They should fuck once and then be really weird about it for the rest of their lives

like

they're insufferable together I love it

Hey everyone. do Morrigan and Alistair fuck

i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it

one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard