X-Men japery, essays & reviews

Apocalypse sulking

White Hot Room Krakoa came back to this dimension for the day and everyone marvelled at the enlightened post-scarcity society they'd built. Well, almost everyone. Apocalypse threw a huge tanty because they didn't really need violence anymore, and decided to beat everyone up.

After lots of punching Jean and Emma got through to him with compassion and Big Blue calmed down. He asked them like a normal person if they wanted his brand of education and got a polite 'no thanks' in response. Despondent, he bailed back to Arakko and talked it out with his daemon familiar. It ended well and Doug is fine.

Looking back, I wish they used the Heir of Apocalypse thing to set up all the new books for From the Ashes. Have Apocalypse gather these current leaders of Mutantkind, and assorted others, and force them to compete for the power necessary to unite all Mutantkind under their banner.

It would allow us to better set up the differences between the leaders, set up someone to become an overarching figure everyone else has to be cautious of, and have this whole Heir of Apocalypse thing be a relevant thing to other people. Plus, maybe we could have had a better definition of what Apocalypse wants in an Heir than "???".

Funny you should say that, because I've been advocating something very similar of late. I don't know that Heir of Apocalypse would have been the best vehicle for it, but taking the lesson from HoxPoX's function absolutely would IMO. A limited series with a wide enough scope to establish where everyone is going and why.

Instead there's this awkward 8 month period where everyone just stopped talking to each other. We get the odd flashback, but it's mostly empty space. Scott sueing the government and setting up the X-Men, him and Rogue falling out for actual reasons, R-LDS setup properly (or, better, don't) the Morlocks reinventing themselves with Arakki influence, Ororo, err, leaving Arakko for Atlanta and constructing a space ship, fit Raid on Graymalkin in there even. Basically front load all the unfinished business and setup the new dynamics. Hit the ground running with a direction in mind.

I don't know what's going on here but I'll steal that Kitty panel.

Haha, NGL I've had it tucked away for a while without a chance to use it. Hope it brings you joy!

I give you this image in exchange.

Much appreciated.

I adore your essay about the comics, I really do.

Reading this I had a few questions in mind

1) would Logan be inappropriate with Susan?

2) this is not pedant but how...in the ever loving fuck of god could Logan KILL all the X-Men? ALL the XMEN. Bc I think Storm is way more powerful, Kitty could be way sneaky too and hello Magik. Like maybe it was the element of surprises but the whole idea the X-Men saw Logan murdering Storm and just abide to fate is ....very strange.

3) Mysterio tricked Logan and no one could do a damn thing to stop him? Like what Mysterio did that Jean Grey or Emma or even Prof X or Psylocke couldn't have undone?

Also ...there a thing that bother me in the "heroes don't kill" bc it's willy nilly. Spiderman punching YOU in the face would hurt a lot, coulded to serious problems and well YOU go to the hospital (best case scenario here) to see you have a serious concussion and if you die, it was bc of that punch. But Spidey didn't meant to kill you so it's good.

A punch can kill you, yes. But it's very selective in Marvel and DC. You can throw a villain out a skyscraper and he is just fine but if you want to go dark and grim (I know the story of the hero penance and that is the most fanfic thing I ever seen) "one punch and the dude got stage four cancer"

Logan is the best in what he does...but that bc the marvel universe is very willy nilly on killings.

Also, it's the first time someone mentions Ben being pro violence. It makes sense, don't get me wrong, it's just everyone always says how Ben is the Sweetest guy ever and...this is not exclusive with him being "time to use violence!" Its just sometimes I feel people forget that and focus on how he is a great guy (I get it!)

Thanks! It's not usually how I do things but I'm really trying to get through all my asks. I thought ask culture was done, but it's nice to have people seeking my opinion (and sharing theirs.)

I don't know what's going on here but I'll steal that Kitty panel.

Haha, NGL I've had it tucked away for a while without a chance to use it. Hope it brings you joy!

Firestar frees Juggernaut

It's Fall of X and everything is shit. Shadowkat is waging a one woman war vs ORCHIS, as she's the only one who can use the gates. She's reconnoitring the Bloom when she comes across a surprising prisoner - Juggernaut. She'd free him, but his chains are connected to someone else.

Why does Scott always get the short end of the stick? Let him go, he didn't do anything 😭!

Haha, it's a good question. For the sake of this discussion I'm not going to quibble that he disproportionately gets punished. Other characters certainly cop it too, but for most of them I wouldn't say it's become a part of their character. I have theories, that are likely all true at once.

Firestar frees Juggernaut

It's Fall of X and everything is shit. Shadowkat is waging a one woman war vs ORCHIS, as she's the only one who can use the gates. She's reconnoitring the Bloom when she comes across a surprising prisoner - Juggernaut. She'd free him, but his chains are connected to someone else.

Wait....isn't firestart a mutant ?

She is indeed. As Jean was dying at the third Hellfire Gala, she had the opportunity to get in Doctor Stasis' mind and make him believe Firestar had been their mole since the beginning. She asked Angelica, of course, and she volunteered, but it kinda had to be her.

She's a deep cover triple agent here, and it was a risky AF assignment that torched her public reputation and gave her PTSD. Hence the awkward feeling of her being friendless and depressed in an Avengers book with zero X-Men contact or support.

Omg can we get you into an X writers room? I absolutely love your idea regarding building up Exodus’ mutant religion. It would be super cool to have Hope show up 3 years after her death in similarity to Jesus coming back 3 days after his death (sacrilegious I know don’t come for me) there’s just so much potential post Krakoa for these two and I really do Hope 😉 we get to see it come together.

Also im so glad you said that abt R-LDS making the five look terrible. I’m really not a fan of that storyline esp since the main victim (Mags) wasn’t resurrected like that and just walked out of a portal to the Waiting Room lol

Thank you for answering my question and writing this all out. You’re always spot on with your analysis.

Haha, I would love that. I don't think a writer's room exists right now and I don't think I'd want to work on the current X-Line, frankly. If it was offered, I'd do it, but that's not happening. In the future, who knows?

Thanks! I agree, though I don't think the time is right just yet. An Exodus and the Acolytes book would be great and plant seeds for what I want, and that would fit with the current diaspora/rebuilding theme. If I had my way, I'd set it on Arakko. 3 years sounds about right!

Yeah, I'm really not a fan of R-LDS either. I wrote about it here. You're very welcome! It was a pleasure. Thanks for the interesting question and the compliments :). They mean a lot.

Side tracking a lil here but ...I remember some years ago how people were especulating about which villain to use for the X-Men movie and well sure they went to apocalypse (can't use magneto forever) but I feel this is a waste....bc they went for smth safer (HOW MANY TIMES THEY WILL TRY TO ADAPT PHEONIX ARC?) bc there are others characters that could serve as villains or antagonists.

Exodus could be one of those.

Sinister was in the list (it was a fan list) and I agree bc he is a great villain (and if you don't want to make a sympathetic villain...sinister is a fucking nazi! Kill the fucker!)

So many characters who are interesting but hardly used. It's a pity.

I mustn't have been around for that, but yeah Apocalypse is a boring choice. His motivations are nonsensical and from what I saw of the execution, 💩.

Exodus can be good, though for a movie he feels like a worse Magneto on paper. If it was right now, I'd say Nimrod/Omega Sentinels, especially if they can pull the aesthetic off. It's a classic, not just in comics but in fiction. The transhumanist body horror of Omega and Prime Sentinels is always fun, and as the AI boom is proving itself to be a disappointing waste of energy - advanced AI that kill mutants and always turn on their creators/organic life feels like a winner. It's been done with DOFP, kinda, but that just means less setup is required to familiarise the audience with the concept. Could even have Exodus as a fakeout villain who teams up with the X-Men.

It'll be interesting to see which angle the MCU takes. The X-Men, like Dragon Ball, seem to end up converting a lot of their villains. They often end stealing the show, too. The MCU kills too many of theirs. I feel like AvX is bound to happen, hopefully with the Avengers actually looking like jerks.

Considering MCU ...I doubt that will be allowed to happen. I remember Natasha saying how the avengers are hee family and ..I find that so forced and not true at all. She didn't get a memorial, but tony got.

I kind like comic apocalypse but here the thing, he is a villain you need to prepare the land for him. He is a greater threat and the power of friendship won't solve it.

But ....they made movie apocalypse so... wierd.

Which bit? Reforming villains or AvX?

Oh I was talking how Black Window, in the MCU, said they are family...but she gets no memorial, Tony does.

And Apolcaypse as a villain in a movie could work but like you need to prepare the field for him.

Reforming villains? No.

AVX was a mistake.

Gotcha, I know very little about the MCU. I've seen maybe 3 movies all the way through, but that sucks.

Agreed.

Fair enough, I think it's great. I hope it's the path taken with Magneto in the MCU.

If they really do the X-Men...I hope magneto to be the only sympathetic villain, if they try to make magneto be this cruel and horrible guy (and try to shoehorn tony Stark in the mix) I would be upset. It's not that I don't love villains who are unredeemable but make a Jewish character in this fucking MCU be so evil is ....a bad choice.

As for hero vs hero it's dumb. It's dumb bc now I can't believe any hero would side or help the X-Men. It also tainted many heroes and for what? Civil war made Carol a monster and for what?

I hate it.

But....if we have hero vs hero. Do we have villain vs villain? Bc while the execution could be ass ...the idea could be very interesting

I mean, it feels inevitable to me.

I like villains (or rather antagonists) to have some pathos, if not sympathetic. Yes, that would vex me as well.

That's my point - that despite being done poorly and OOC so many times, it can be done well. It's been done so badly so often that doing it well would almost be deconstructive (or maybe reconstructive.) I don't like how it's been executed but the concept itself is interesting to me.

Indeed. That too!

Unrelated but I saw a good video essay who says how Batman legos movie was a desconstruction of Batman....and I agree. I took out the glamour the character have. Why am I mentioning that? In parts bc that is a cool thought and bc I wonder how the MCU will handle the mutants. will they try to desconstruct the mutants?

I really don't want magneto to be made out to be a super evil dude. Also don't want his Jewish to be eraser.

Hero vs hero...could work, sort of. But the consequences need to be bigger.

Do you know any case of villain vs villain?

I hope so.

Likewise.

It depends on what you count as a villain tbh. In the comics the sliding scale of villainy and the complexity of the world leads to a lot of it, including outright villain protagonists. Sabertooth and the Exiles was pretty recent, and One World Under DOOM is going there. The movies - I haven't seen enough of them to really comment. Thanos is a villain protagonist who's opposed by almost everyone, but there's not many villains alive to oppose him (other than the ones who work for him.)

I have an addition to this idea villain vs villain it's from a manga a very bad one (the potential is there but the execution is ass) not sure if you heard but my hero academia does have villain vs villain.

But back to the marvel heard a lot about the recent sabertooth comics.

Wait....have raven and magneto ever fought in the comics or am I tripping?

Oh you mean in fiction in general? It's an ancient trope by now. Check it out.

They're excellent. Strongly recommend.

They have, though it's rarely a physical fight. They certainly oppose each other plenty.

Evil vs evil. Man, I remember Jason vs Freddy....so many people were taking about this movie (it had the same force of "who would win Batman or Superman?")

Raven vs Magento. Hm....have they ever disagree bc of rogue? Bc raven is a shitty mom, let's be real, not even rogue had a good mom out of raven ....as much the narrative or fans try to think otherwise, but like ....magneto is an old man (a hot fox sure) and well....I think she would say smh about roguento (I do like the ship. Sigh, wish Genosha wasn't destroyed and we could have seen magneto and rogue ruling. Meh fanfics are for that!)

I don't remember tbh. I've got a big blank spot there. Missed opportunity if not

Omg can we get you into an X writers room? I absolutely love your idea regarding building up Exodus’ mutant religion. It would be super cool to have Hope show up 3 years after her death in similarity to Jesus coming back 3 days after his death (sacrilegious I know don’t come for me) there’s just so much potential post Krakoa for these two and I really do Hope 😉 we get to see it come together.

Also im so glad you said that abt R-LDS making the five look terrible. I’m really not a fan of that storyline esp since the main victim (Mags) wasn’t resurrected like that and just walked out of a portal to the Waiting Room lol

Thank you for answering my question and writing this all out. You’re always spot on with your analysis.

Haha, I would love that. I don't think a writer's room exists right now and I don't think I'd want to work on the current X-Line, frankly. If it was offered, I'd do it, but that's not happening. In the future, who knows?

Thanks! I agree, though I don't think the time is right just yet. An Exodus and the Acolytes book would be great and plant seeds for what I want, and that would fit with the current diaspora/rebuilding theme. If I had my way, I'd set it on Arakko. 3 years sounds about right!

Yeah, I'm really not a fan of R-LDS either. I wrote about it here. You're very welcome! It was a pleasure. Thanks for the interesting question and the compliments :). They mean a lot.

Side tracking a lil here but ...I remember some years ago how people were especulating about which villain to use for the X-Men movie and well sure they went to apocalypse (can't use magneto forever) but I feel this is a waste....bc they went for smth safer (HOW MANY TIMES THEY WILL TRY TO ADAPT PHEONIX ARC?) bc there are others characters that could serve as villains or antagonists.

Exodus could be one of those.

Sinister was in the list (it was a fan list) and I agree bc he is a great villain (and if you don't want to make a sympathetic villain...sinister is a fucking nazi! Kill the fucker!)

So many characters who are interesting but hardly used. It's a pity.

I mustn't have been around for that, but yeah Apocalypse is a boring choice. His motivations are nonsensical and from what I saw of the execution, 💩.

Exodus can be good, though for a movie he feels like a worse Magneto on paper. If it was right now, I'd say Nimrod/Omega Sentinels, especially if they can pull the aesthetic off. It's a classic, not just in comics but in fiction. The transhumanist body horror of Omega and Prime Sentinels is always fun, and as the AI boom is proving itself to be a disappointing waste of energy - advanced AI that kill mutants and always turn on their creators/organic life feels like a winner. It's been done with DOFP, kinda, but that just means less setup is required to familiarise the audience with the concept. Could even have Exodus as a fakeout villain who teams up with the X-Men.

It'll be interesting to see which angle the MCU takes. The X-Men, like Dragon Ball, seem to end up converting a lot of their villains. They often end stealing the show, too. The MCU kills too many of theirs. I feel like AvX is bound to happen, hopefully with the Avengers actually looking like jerks.

Considering MCU ...I doubt that will be allowed to happen. I remember Natasha saying how the avengers are hee family and ..I find that so forced and not true at all. She didn't get a memorial, but tony got.

I kind like comic apocalypse but here the thing, he is a villain you need to prepare the land for him. He is a greater threat and the power of friendship won't solve it.

But ....they made movie apocalypse so... wierd.

Which bit? Reforming villains or AvX?

Oh I was talking how Black Window, in the MCU, said they are family...but she gets no memorial, Tony does.

And Apolcaypse as a villain in a movie could work but like you need to prepare the field for him.

Reforming villains? No.

AVX was a mistake.

Gotcha, I know very little about the MCU. I've seen maybe 3 movies all the way through, but that sucks.

Agreed.

Fair enough, I think it's great. I hope it's the path taken with Magneto in the MCU.

If they really do the X-Men...I hope magneto to be the only sympathetic villain, if they try to make magneto be this cruel and horrible guy (and try to shoehorn tony Stark in the mix) I would be upset. It's not that I don't love villains who are unredeemable but make a Jewish character in this fucking MCU be so evil is ....a bad choice.

As for hero vs hero it's dumb. It's dumb bc now I can't believe any hero would side or help the X-Men. It also tainted many heroes and for what? Civil war made Carol a monster and for what?

I hate it.

But....if we have hero vs hero. Do we have villain vs villain? Bc while the execution could be ass ...the idea could be very interesting

I mean, it feels inevitable to me.

I like villains (or rather antagonists) to have some pathos, if not sympathetic. Yes, that would vex me as well.

That's my point - that despite being done poorly and OOC so many times, it can be done well. It's been done so badly so often that doing it well would almost be deconstructive (or maybe reconstructive.) I don't like how it's been executed but the concept itself is interesting to me.

Indeed. That too!

Unrelated but I saw a good video essay who says how Batman legos movie was a desconstruction of Batman....and I agree. I took out the glamour the character have. Why am I mentioning that? In parts bc that is a cool thought and bc I wonder how the MCU will handle the mutants. will they try to desconstruct the mutants?

I really don't want magneto to be made out to be a super evil dude. Also don't want his Jewish to be eraser.

Hero vs hero...could work, sort of. But the consequences need to be bigger.

Do you know any case of villain vs villain?

I hope so.

Likewise.

It depends on what you count as a villain tbh. In the comics the sliding scale of villainy and the complexity of the world leads to a lot of it, including outright villain protagonists. Sabertooth and the Exiles was pretty recent, and One World Under DOOM is going there. The movies - I haven't seen enough of them to really comment. Thanos is a villain protagonist who's opposed by almost everyone, but there's not many villains alive to oppose him (other than the ones who work for him.)

I have an addition to this idea villain vs villain it's from a manga a very bad one (the potential is there but the execution is ass) not sure if you heard but my hero academia does have villain vs villain.

But back to the marvel heard a lot about the recent sabertooth comics.

Wait....have raven and magneto ever fought in the comics or am I tripping?

Oh you mean in fiction in general? It's an ancient trope by now. Check it out.

They're excellent. Strongly recommend.

They have, though it's rarely a physical fight. They certainly oppose each other plenty.