~ Rei ~

It’s Fuck It Wednesday around here. Yesterday it was Fuck It Tuesday and tomorrow it’ll be Fuck It Thursday.

Someone just asked me what the forecast was for Friday. I’m not psychic, but there’s a very strong possibility it’ll be Fuck It Friday.

Yep, it’s Fuck It Friday.

Dr Glass blew my mind last night. We were sitting around our (excellent) campfire and as the other grownups went to bed I said it was a shame to waste the campfire.

“We shall keep the campfire,” he said loftily.

The tents are special fixed tents that have woodstoves inside, and Dr Glass announced his intention of simply bringing all the fire parts of the fire inside in a tin bucket and putting it in the wood stove.

“Like transferring Calcifer,” he said, by means of further explanation, which he considered sufficient.

And that’s what he did. Took a few trips. Put the campfire inside. It worked. Okay buddy!! I consider myself a swan of the world and it still has things strange and new in it!!!

Such a cute autumn

Last night I dreamed I was at a flea market trying to buy an action figure of Michelangelo Ninja Turtles with a mermaid tail, but first I had to draw a portrait of Napoleon on a whiteboard from memory, and every attempt ended up looking like Divine in Pink Flamingos.

You should try actually drawing a portrait of napoleon on a whiteboard from memory

As you wish. This is what I was trying to draw in the dream. But this is what I kept ending up with instead:

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

dead dove do not eat in practice

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

This

there are more tweets in this thread

fucking SLAY

this isnt even the full thread, there are even MORE tweets to this thread that i think are really necessary to read if you do what op is talking about! it is not enough to know that feeling this way hurts the people you love, we already know that.

this rest of the thread continues after the third tweet from the reblog.

like THE FULL THREAD is genuinely so reassuring.

sometimes, it is not enough to just know, sometimes you might need that reassurance of "do you really think of me when i'm away?" and someone reassuring you that yeah, they do. and evaluate that! trust that! just like op did.

and then learning that ykw, it's NOT any of my business really. and finding comfort in that trust that like. whether they are or aren't thinking of me, they really do love me.

this full thread changed my life and i am ALWAYS going to give the full thread because the parts people cut out aren't enough for the people experiencing these things, speaking as someone who does. it, really it just makes us, made me, feel bad about my own capabilities when i saw the unfinished thread.

There is a word I’m not allowed to use. I love it. I love it so much. But my darling beloved wife hates it with a fiery passion.

I came across it from Anne Lister’s diary, where she says that she would “grubble under women’s skirts” and honestly. The word perfectly encapsulates the fumbling feeling of fighting your way through layers of fabric to reach the promised pussy land.

However the word has been forbidden, reviled from the first moment my beloved heard it. They shuddered and it’s truly one of the only restrictions they’ve ever placed on my vocabulary so I don’t say it. But I do think it, on occasion.

Sometimes the word will pop into my head and I will think it too hard and my wife will turn and glare at me and accuse, “I know you’re thinking it!”

“But I didn’t say it!” I protest. But they’re always right. Even with no context they always know when I’m thinking it.

Today I told my wife, “I shared the unmentionable word with Astrid today and she quite enjoyed it. She repeated it several times.”

They bellowed liked a dying wildebeest and said, “I can go months without remembering that word exists and then it comes up again. It’s so disgusting, it’s what Sméagol would do on the ground digging for worms!”

I was laughing and protested, “It sounds like fighting through skirts, the groping around.”

“No! That is something that happens in the muck and the filth. It’s negative sexy.

“Bet you're gonna take to Tumblr and share it and some people are gonna be like, ‘Oh what a great word! We should definitely use that in our lexicon. Top tier word!’ And you know what? THEYRE WRONG. GARBAGE WORD. GROSS.”

I listened to their impassioned hatred while cuddled in their arms and radiated love at them and remorse for having reminded them about the existence of grubbling. But now you get to hear about it. As a treat.

started watching this japanese show where they take in requests and they try to help out with whatever the request is. and in this one the guy says that when he was in middle school, he always heard the girl across the street playing her piano, and although he only met her in person a few times, listening to her play her usual song was a great comfort to him growing up, especially getting to hear her slowly get better at playing.

the guy now was an adult and taking a break from college, and began to feel really lost in life, and he kept thinking back to when he was in middle school and hearing her play the piano every day. so his request was to hear her play it again. and he and the show's crew literally go back to his old place, and miraculously the girl still lives in that same house across the street, and even more miraculously the people who currently live where he used to allow him to go back to his old room where he used to listen to her play. and they all agree to recreate his middle school memory for him.

the girl comes home from her part-time job and she plays the piano, although she tells them it's been 4 years since she's ever played and is worried she won't sound good, and the guy sits by the window, and he just listens. and like. just imagining reliving that moment when you were younger, listening to a near-stranger play a song across the street every day, feeling a little less lost because of it, and returning to that as an adult when you need it most and everyone being kind enough to let you savor it again even just for a moment... i wanted to start bawling i wont lie. this is the song she played. im going to go lie down about the humanity of it all

oohh i didnt expect this to even break 2 notes but hello! the show was called 探偵！ナイトスクープ (Detective! Knight Scoop) and if you have a vpn you can watch it on netflix. the guy did get to meet the pianist herself in person and thank her for playing such a beautiful song all those times, which is why his request was to hear her play it again.

she joked she wouldve played it for him if he had just rang her doorbell haha

Gav’s Tavern Here’s the culmination of what I’ve been working on for the past couple months. It’s different from what I usually do. Also it was a lot of work, but I think I’m happy with it.

I made some Gav stickers too if you liked this.

*Translation: Objectively, this is much more manageable than being a werewolf, but I can't help but feel that it's worse. Based on a submission from @ultrablep

did we ever tell tumblr about cheese pentagram the bigender cat we accidentally summoned via ritual

@zannolin GLADLY. so, last summer me and the gang (my partner, an irl friend, and a beloved tumblr mutual) met up for a fun little road trip to the annual point pleasant mothman festival, which is like pride for nerds, and naturally we HAD to go. in addition to walking around, seeing the frankly laughable (but charming) mothman museum of legend, and commenting “that’s ohio, baby!” after anything went wrong the entire trip, we had one goal: drive out to the woods, perform a summoning ritual, and convince mothman to come hang out with us.

we geared up on supplies saturday afternoon at the local walmart: candles, a lighter, chalk, a few flashlights, and some snacks (what if mothman’s hungry? we have to prepare for these things). one of the snacks in question was a can of off-brand spray cheese, which looked absolutely horrendous, but served a double purpose of being used to dare each other into eating gross food AND we could use it as a (mostly) environmentally safe way to draw on grass. for the summoning circle, of course.

sunday afternoon, after a rainy start to our morning, we set off to the tnt area woods to perform our ritual. we had it all planned out, down to the scp-like music we’d picked out (an a capella cover of country roads which only seemed to exist when we drove through the point pleasant bridge), and the atmosphere was moody and eerie to match.

we drove together, chatting, listening to our song and practicing our chants, and that was our mistake - we started the ritual too early. because all of a sudden, we see in front of us, flopping about in the middle of the road, a creature.

my partner threw on the brakes, skillfully navigating around the thing in the road, and my irl jumped out of the car to scoop it up off the rain-drenched asphalt and drop the tiniest, soggiest kitten i had ever seen in my life, directly in my lap in the passenger seat.

naturally, our priorities for the day immediately upended. now, all four of us agreed that our only goal for the day was to take care of this tiny baby.

we named him cheese pentagram, and assumed he was sent by mothman to greet us. the intention was to drop him off at the nearest animal shelter; he was clearly injured, and we had a seven hour drive home that day — but because it was sunday, every single veterinary clinic and animal shelter was closed. i think i called every animal hospital between ohio and my house trying to find anyone who could take him.

so instead, tiny cheese pentagram spent seven hours on my lap, eating pieces of fast food chicken nuggets and swaddled in a towel donated by a very nice stranger at a gas station. i was absolutely in love with him by the time we made it home, and after a few state lines i gave up calling animal shelters. that was my baby now.

we made it home safely, and little cheese went to the vet on monday where we learned one more surprise from mothman. the vet told us two things: one, cheese would need his injured leg amputated. and two, he was actually a girl.

so yeah. that’s the story of cheese pentagram the bigender cat we accidentally summoned instead of mothman in point pleasant, west virginia and i love her. she’s very happy and living a wonderful life now!

some recent cheese pentagram pics for you guys. still orange and tripod-esque as ever! she’s now fully grown and seems to be permanently kitten sized, but as her best friend is my sister’s big black border collie, this does not deter her from getting into much larger trouble. they chase each other around constantly. it’s very cute.