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@renfys-ceatha

Kris, 27, big bi nerd, they/them Avi by @Fastet

An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden; but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like wont be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa

A few days later he received this letter from his son:

Dear Pop, Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie

At 6 am the next morning, FBl agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Pop, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best could do under the circumstances. Love, Vinnie

Jeff I am BEGGING YOU to change your name

hey uh if you have an unemployed person in your life and they haven't volunteered information about how the job hunt is going, it's probably because it's going badly!!!! and asking said unemployed person how it's going will only make them feel Bad because the job hunt is Bad. I guarantee you that when the unemployed person in your life has a substantial employment update they will tell you about it. otherwise don't ask unless you're literally going to offer them a job. thank youuuuu

Wanted to give the VHS retro anime look another try. For added realism, Tumblr insisted on deep-frying the quality even further by not being able to tolerate gifs over 10 MB in size. Here is also the black-and-white version:

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

I think...you might be right

what the fuck

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