Republican Idiots

Elizabeth Powell: "Mr. Franklin? What have we got, a republic or a monarchy?

Benjamin Franklin: "You have a republic. If you can keep it.”

“They aren’t going to put the cashier from McDonald’s information out there, are they? It wouldn’t be good for her. A lot of people will be upset I was arrested.” -- Luigi's remarks to police as he was taken into custody.

Dear Rest of the World,

You may be wondering why Americans aren't addressing this...disaster. Without going into details, I'd like to suggest that you imagine the US as a two-headed man. One side is a lawyer named Cynthia and she's normal. The other side is a mutant nicknamed DOGE, which is short for Dickweed of Gelatinous Ectoplasm. Right now the Dickweed has the keys to the car. Cynthia is sitting beside him but there's not much she can do. Cynthia's been trying to get DOGE committed since 2016 but nothing --- absofuckinglutely NOTHING -- has worked. So right now we -- those of us who recognize the danger -- just can't do much. The people who can do something won't because the mutant is handing them bags of gold (that bit is NOT an analogy). So anyway. I'm sorry. Well, Cynthia the lawyer is sorry. The mutants are delighted.

One thing I'd like to mention for no particular reason is that 71% of our GDP comes from the East and West coasts of the US. That's California, New York, Massachsetts, etc. I think most of these places would look very favorably upon sharing the car with another...lawyer.

Signed,

American Person