things i’ll not call you a whore for:

things i’ll call you a whore for:

why are lemons separate from food op?

everyone knows lemons arent food

lemon stealing whores are a huge issue separate from food stealing whores. there’s a whole documentary about whores stealing lemons from the trees of unsuspecting victims. you can see the first two minutes of it here.

Thats a rickroll. That totally is a fucking rickroll. No fukin way. Not falling for it.

dude, trust me, that isn’t a rick roll. its something worse

Me to the rest of tumblr after actually watching what was in the link:

…I really don’t know what I was expecting.

What the fuck did i just watch.

It- it’s not a Rick roll

Have we really reached a time when the Lemon Stealing Whores are no longer common knowledge.

feminism never taught me to hate men but it did help me realize that i shouldn’t prioritize them over women & it turns out that alot of men consider that to be hatred lmao.

So if you were in a room with two prisoners; a man and a woman, you’d never met, and the gender neutral soldier with the big gun told you to kill one of them, you’d automatically shoot the man?

tag yourselves I’m the gender neutral soldier with the big gun

im the completely off the wall reaction to a fairly mundane post

Your soldier with a big gun looks gnc af

if you were at your worst, if you’re a villain or a screwup or whatever, there is a goth man dressed as a giant bat who keeps coming after you, bothering you. he sabotages your journey of self destruction over and over. ur ready to give up but he won’t let you. you think, today he won’t come. today he will give up on me too. he never does.

and at the same time there is a pretty playboy socialite in your city who has nothing between his ears and his hair is insured more than your health. and on tv he laughs and dances and then you are in an alleyway and he’s standing before you in his designer cashmere overcoat. he feels worlds above you, you think. he will never understand you and your pain. and then he offers you a business card for the hiring agent of his inherited company. you finally look him in the face and his eyes look so sharp and so sad and his smile is so so warm

why is everyone talking about this website dying again for tje 15th time

they;re selling us to one direction??

hey. dont cry. close your eyes and hold out your hands.

ok!

here you go

Ok now what

Begin killing

You got it boss!

had a dream that someone was showing me this camera that could render anything it photographed "flawless." So like it could remove blemishes from people's faces, but also if you took a picture of a cracked glass there would be no crack in the resulting image.

Obviously this is kind of existentially horrifying but that's not the point of this post.

The point is that when dream me got the camera I immediately turned the lens onto my cat to see what she would look like "perfect." And she looked exactly the same.

all ive ever asked for is infinite power, the ability to control bugs with my mind, 5 trillion dollars, and the answer to every secret in the multiverse. i don’t think that’s unreasonable

why are "your icon would" games so fucking boring tell me how you'd feel if you met your icon and they punched you

The enormity of my desire excites me it’s so awesomeee Yaaayyyy yesssss

there are two✌️ bunny rabbits outside rn and they are playing in the flowers. this shit is literally awesome

one hopped over the other as they ran at them. hooly fuuuuuuck

well i didnt know performing sick ass tricks was apart of their mating behaviors damn‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥

if tumblr shuts down you can find me on tumblr. ill still be here. they cant make me leave