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My Blog

@rosemary-kitten

What's in a description? A Rose by any other name blogs just as sweet.
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Anonymous asked:

hi sex witch, butt stuff question which I dont think was covered by the links in your faq and I'm not sure I understand enough to sort through the different advice online from gay groups

I've wanted to try anal but get it right so I've been starting slow alone with toys and following the advice I could find, I thought maybe even being too cautious. For as much as I've enjoyed short penetration when I get even a little ways in (approx 5 inches) it feels like hitting a wall, trying to push in further just gets more painful

Is this normal, and something to just "relax and force past it" and it'll feel better out the other side of whatever it is like people online seem to say? or is it wiser to back off and accept I might just be built shallow or not into the rewards of pushing deeper?

batmanisagatewaydrug answered:

hi anon,

I think there is perhaps a harmonious middle ground wherein you neither need to abandon any dreams of going deeper nor force anything. forcing in general is not something I'd advise in any orifice, unkind as it is to your body, and particularly not in the anus, which is a delicate instrument and deserves to be treated as such.

right now let's just enjoy what we can do, test boundaries gently, and go deeper only when it feels comfortable. you know your body best, and you'll know the difference between "okay, a little discomfort, but let's keep going and see what happens" and "JESUSGODFUCKOUCHSHITSHIT." if you're not sure which of the two it is, assume the latter and act accordingly.

there's not a "right" depth to hit, okay? the right depth is whatever feels good for you, and your body will tell you where that is if you listen.

also, for whatever its worth, 5 inches is hardly nothing - the average penis is right around 5 inches long when erect, for one thing.

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reine-du-sourire asked:

Let's hear all about the history of chess, please!

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facts-i-just-made-up answered:

Chess is an analog live-action computer game or, "game," invented in the year 1212 B.Y.A. by Shatranj Al-Chessinventir. Designed to teach local rulers about warfare and defending their kingdoms, the game simulated a royal court and its pawns with game pieces. The original pieces were as follows:

  • King: The ruler of the court, if captured, means the end of the game. Mostly a figurehead, he can only move one tile at a time.
  • Queen: The most capable piece, she does the most work, but capturing her is unimportant because apparently a woman who can do anything is worth far less than a man who can barely move.
  • Bishop: Like a real bishop, this piece can only move diagonally, and whenever it takes another piece, it must pray for absolution or it will go to Chess Hell or, "Chell," and burn in Chess Fire or, "Chire," for all Chess Eternity or, "Next Round."
  • Knight: A knight must move in an L shape as per the rules of Tetris, from which the earliest chess games were inspired. The knight is represented by a horse in honor of Mazura of Parapa Palace.
  • Royal Piss-Bucket Emptier: Now known as the "Rook" due to Victorian prudery, the Royal Piss-Bucket Emptier runs as far as needed in any cardinal direction because the historical job entailed speed and resolute direction.
  • Pawn: Also known as a "Serf" or "Retail Clerk," the Pawn is expected to die young and be replaced quickly without the royals so much as noticing, so worthless and ordinary is this piece that just wanted to survive and be with their family. Should a pawn make it to the opposite side however, it can become a Queen or any other piece, a lesson designed to teach players that if they betray their family and join the ranks of the enemy, they will be rewarded with fame, fortune, and optional gender fluidity.

Though only about 24 possible games are playable with chess, two less than tic-tac-toe, many books have been written on Chess Theory by lonely people hoping to impress someone with how smart they think they are. This has sadly never worked.

Chess grew popular in America in the 60s and 70s due to the celebrity of chess master Bobby Fischer, but declined soon after when Fischer claimed that Jews were to blame for everything bad, Jews were evil, and he hoped that all the Jews would die. Being Jewish himself, he then died. He was then dug up again (f8=P?) and reburied by order of the Bishop (Bxf8#).

Chess has only recently made a comeback owing to new and interesting chess variants such as 4 Player Bughouse Chess, Three-Man Chess, 5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel, and Checkers (with chess pieces because I forgot where I put the checkers).

The most interesting thing ever to happen in Chess occurred in 2021 when the Double Bongcloud Position was introduced to top competitions. And that sentence isn't even unreality.

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Reblogged demilypyro
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homosexfag-moved-deactivated202
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I cant stop reciting this and then laughing so hard I cry

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transcript:

I firmly believe all the best stories happen at WalMart self checkout, I was there at 3 in the morning one time buying Froot Loops, and there was a tall, tall country dad there and his little 5 year old daughter.

And when buying my Froot Loops, I dropped them. And I said "fuck. my loops." And I remember, like, in the back hearing, [gruffer, southern accented voice] "Yeah! Dont be afraid to speak!"

[normal voice] And I was like, "What?"

And he was like, [accented voice] "Youre angry, about your cereal. Say it. Say Fuck with your chest!"

[normal voice] And I was like, "...Fuck!" and his little daughter was like [less gruff accented voice] "Yeah my daddy lets me say Bitch!"

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Reblogged ineffable-writer
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I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

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I think...you might be right

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what the fuck

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Reblogged kazieka
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the beauty of skyrim's unmarked locations is that you can stroll up to like, a bear cave and after you kill the bear you just like find a corpse called like, bjorn bear-exploder and you loot him and you find an unique weapon like. the bear exploder sword that has a 10% chance of exploding bears and is completely dick useless. and then you just move on with your life.

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Not the first lesson I expected to get when enrolling at the College of Winterhold but *scribbles in notebook* knowledge is knowledge!

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Reblogged mitaukano
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Anonymous asked:

I'm only saying this for your sake, but objectively, it's not a smart idea to bring politics into normal hobbies. You might lose supporters of your blog just because of your political stance, and that would be terrible since you're so amazing!! It's only a suggestion, but I really reccomend not bringing politics into anything.

kingkishou answered:
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I don't care you only need one item. We are closed and you are not coming in. Sell you tomorrow at 9:00AM

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driving a Tesla is bad enough but having a license plate that’s just Elon Musk’s name? when you yourself are not Elon Musk? it’s just the most bitchboy shit I’ve ever seen

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like I actually hope this guy was just engaging in his humiliation fetish because that would be a reasonable and normal explanation

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