@rwagzwriting / rwagzwriting.tumblr.com
Anger:
Sadness:
Sorry about that random hiatus everyone, things got really chaotic in my personal life and i just needed to pull away from everything. I know I didnt give much warning but nor does life.
I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during these difficult days. Stay safe out there.
YOU GUYS IT’S DECEMBER 10TH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS HAS BEEN IN MY QUEUE SINCE FEBRUARY
It’s December 10th now and I’m putting this in my queue for next year.
Okay! So!
I am starting to work towards my Creative Writing BA degree (Emphasis in Fantasy), so I will be off for a bit while I get organized. To those I owe replies to I am sorry, and I am also sorry my tumblr will be rather inactive for a little while. I am still writing short stories, just nothing that I’ve been happy enough to share here. Thank you all for your understanding!
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"I've never been perfect. I've never been... what other's expected of me. But that didn't matter... Because despite everything I had lost, everything that he knew, he had stayed. "
The words that left Tabbitha's lips were agonized, her chocolate brown eyes flicking from place to place, her jaw tense and back a straight line. She didn't talk about him, he had been so important to her yet she couldn't bring herself to utter his name. She couldn't bring herself to send his family a letter or call them, she couldn't bare the thought of throwing out his worn down jacket. The memories that follows her over through the hiking trail and over the sandy water's edge at the lake, through hallways and around backroads. Everything in Albion held an echo of him- of who she used to be.
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"C'mon Tabs! Just pick something and I'll pay," Alexander's voice was full of laughter as he watched the redhaired Damphir, his body leaned against the shelves as Tabbitha glanced over the makeup, her iced coffee propped on her phone as she blushed, throwing the taller werewolf a glance, unable to hide the grin that filled her face.
"Anything I want?"
The Peruvian asked with some hesitation before she stood, looking at her boyfriend, chocolate eyes on his blue ones as she stepped closer, her darkly stained bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Alexander nodded, his own toothy grin reflecting her shy one as he gently ran his fingers across the guardian's cheek. Stepping closer, the damphir pressed her lips to Alex's, a brief kiss shared as loved poured from the senior student's hearts.
"Then I want you to be my forever."
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The memory flooded Tabbitha's eyes as her stomach twisted into knots, in her hands was a carefully mailed invitation from Xander's parents to his funeral, her heart shattering as the night replayed over and over within her mind. They had been in the United States over Spring break, their last spring break as High School students. At sundown Alexander had proposed with a simple ring as they stood against the water's edge as the sea lapped at their feet. They had gone to a party to celebrate, a bunch of drunk humans packed into one flat... Tabbitha knew something wasn't right but ignored it.
Then, someone pulled a knife on Alex. A silver coated blade, and Tabbitha froze.
The Damphir are the protectors of all species, from a young age each one is taught that their life is the first to go on the line for anyone else. This mentallity was not one that Tabbitha had, especially for those who she didn't know and didn't give a shit about her in return... But she had cared about Alexander and had sworn up down and backwards to protect him.
"I couldn't even do that right."
Brokenly, Tabbitha slipped the invitation within the locked diary she had, shaking hands reaching for the cardboard box of Camel Crush Silvers, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it.
"You'll always be my forever, Xander.." The broken 17 year old whispered before she broke into a fit of sobs, the only answer was the echo of the home she'd been gifted as a going away present from her mother.
She wasn’t drunk, far from it. Her mind was… well, she definitely wasn’t sober, but she wasn’t drunk, either. That was her statement and she’d stick to it. She’d only had one drink. She knew her limit well enough to know it was higher than fucking one, at least. That didn’t explain a damn thing about why she felt so far over her limit, though, but frankly, she didn’t care. She figured, maybe she was just even more sensitive because she hadn’t eaten in a while and it had been months since she’d had a drink. The brilliant doctor had been cooking to Oaky’s pub for years now with no problem, so why would she even think that someone might drug her? She felt safe here.
Something wasn’t right.
Swiftly, everything seemed to get blurrier and blurrier, until the dark haired doctor could hardly see straight. Her laughter was uncontrollable and her words slurred as she swayed, the world around her blurring into laughter while the words of those around her became near indistinguishable. It wasn’t until she felt an arm slide around her waist and a handsome stranger begin pulling her to her feet that she really began paying attention to her surroundings. He had dark hair and blue eyes. Exactly what she needed to get him out of her system.
“Woah, hey, calm down there big boy,” she giggled as he began leading her to the door silently. At the time, it was hard to place why she thought his behavior was odd. It just seemed off, but… She thought she was wrong, her unsteady feet finding trouble gaining their footing in her dazed state. She was… Lost, confused. The world around her looked like an abstract painting. She couldn’t see. The only guiding light she had was the grip on her wrist growing painfully tight. She heard the door and felt the icy winter wind rush in.
James had been wandering the streets of New York on his own for hours, his black hair tied in a low bun to keep the locks out of his face, the leather jacket he wore clung to his body like a glove. Blue eyes skimmed over the happenings of the late night wanders, people just as lost as he was, it seemed…
Every now and then he would meet eyes with strangers, loners like him, those without purpose and those running from demons and ghosts that clung to their lives, he would nod and nothing more as he passed by, unsure of where he was walking to. He had been cooped up for a while, not having the strength to leave his room at the compound. It had been a hard few weeks…
The sound of a voice he knew like honey in tea caught his ear, trained eyes falling on Tatiana with ease… A stranger was gripping her, the giggling doctor he knew seemed out of rights… He’d never seen her so… giddy? But her voice contradicted her movements and the glaze that covered her eyes. He hesitated, but when he tried to lead her into a car, Bucky knew… he had to stop him.
Whatever he was seeing was wrong. So very wrong.
“Hey,” His voice cut through the air like a hot knife as he made deliberate strides towards the pair, cool eyes resting on his friend, the woman he trusted more than almost anyone right now. “Why don’t you let the little lady go,” James almost growled, his hand moving to pull the stranger’s off the thin Stark as he inserted himself between the pair. glaring darkly.
“Tat, you okay? How many’d you have?” Bucky asked shortly as he kept a mean glare on the other male, his metal arm pulled back slightly and fist balled as he carefully guided Tatiana behind him.
Her eyes were hazy, Bucky’s voice pulling her gaze to him as she grinned. This wasn’t her normal drunk behavior. Even after several drinks, the petite doctor was understated. She tended to keep to herself, drunk or not, and most certainly wasn’t one to stumble out the door of her favorite bar and get in the car with a silent stranger. Nor was she the type of woman to throw her head back and grin at Barnes dopily. “Hey handsome,” She slurred, dainty hand reaching up towards his face as she snorted. “I was just thinking about you, you know?” She mumbled, head lolling clumsily before she moved behind Bucky obediently. Her legs didn’t want to hold her, but they stayed underneath her slim body, for now.
“This doesn’t concern you, buddy,” The sandy haired stranger said, his eyes darting around for an escape, an opening something. “She came with me willingly. She could’ve said no if she wanted to stay.” His voice was hard, laced with hostility. He looked… erratic, panicked. “So just go on with your night and leave the lovely miss alone, yeah?” As he spoke, his hand moved, pushing his shirt back gently. His hand shook, his lips pressing thin as he looked at Bucky with wild eyes. His hand grabbed something and in the night, the light of the bar seemed to glint off of something metal tucked into his belt just beneath his hand.
Bucky didn’t move from his place in front of Tatiana, his icey blue eyes looked more like steal that had caught fire as he took in her behavior. The man knew better than to guess she was just plastered, it was too early for that, and even if she was plastered she would have never willingly stepped behind him if she truly was in her right mind. The words spilling from her lips only proved to James that she was not herself.
‘Drugs’ he thought before he caught the small metallic glint of what seemed to be a blade at the stranger’s hip. ‘Bad move’, the dark thought rang in his mind before he let his fleshy hand press to the thin doctor behind him, keeping her close as his concealed metal arm braced in front of him, the bright metal covered by his jacket and a leather glove.
“I don’t think so, buddy,” he spat out. “Unlike you, I know her. I know how she behaves when she’s drunk, and when she’s sober. You have no idea who you’re messing with so I’d suggest moving along before I make sure you don’t walk away. “
Winter trailed just behind him, the crueler side of James foaming at the mouth as rage curled in his stomach, his lips downturned in a scowl. “Now, make your choice. Try me. I’ve killed people when I was calm, imagine what I’ll do when I’m pissed.”
The stranger began to sweat, swallowing thickly. Common sense said to walk on, keep the hunt for another day, but his pride disagreed. Who did this guy think he was, walking up her and trying to insinuate himself? Nah, that wasn’t gonna fucking fly.
“You think you’re a tough guy? Yeah? Then come the fuck on.” He lifted the glinting blade of his knife between them, bloodshot eyes fixed on Bucky now. “I’ll cut you to pieces, then take your bitch home anyways.” That’s when the crash hit. All at once, Tatiana felt sick, skin flushing as her chest grew tight, rivulets of sweat dripping down her skin as she shivered. Cold… christ it was so cold. Where was her jacket? Her stomach churned as the world seemed to fold and unfold around her, only one constant holding her thoughts. Bucky’s voice… Bucky…
He was… talking about…killing someone..? No… Bucky wouldn’t. Winter.
Stumbling forward, half blind, ignoring the violent protests of her body and the knotted twisting of her stomach, she threw her arms around Bucky, holding him tight. Fear gripped her. She couldn’t see!
“Bucky– don’t. Please, god, don’t kill him, please, don’t…don’t kill anyone!” The words felt easy, but sounded breathless, barely a helpless whimpering of a plea. God.. she was just so tired.
Without much movement, James let his metal arm flick upwards, the clink of both metals clashing chaotic. Not giving the man a chance to get in a hit, Bucky let his arm fly against the males wrist, sending the knife flying.
The words of Tatiana’s plea ghosted the Sargent’s ears as he shoved the creep back towards the wall, taking note of every feature he could. Greasy black hair and stone grey eyes. Hooked nose and a five o'clock shadow. A scar on his neck about the size of a dime. Things he would need for later.
“Tatiana, let go. ” The Winter Soldier’s words were cold and clipped before he pulled away, careful not to knock her over as he shed his jacket, dropping it over her shoulders before he dove into beating the dumb bastard. Not enough to kill him but he’d think twice about this shit.
Turning to walk towards the blade, the man kicked it into the gutter before picking the younger Stark sibling and carrying her away, so he could hail a cab, he could call the police, and get her home.
“You’ve got to be smart, Tat. I’m here though. Just breathe. ” Bucky’s voice had softened now that they were away from danger, low and strained as anger and worry coiled up his stiffened spine.
When her prop left her, her knees buckled, the forward motion of Bucky hurtling her towards the ground. The world around her moved too fast for her to process. Before she knew it, a cold feelings had washed over her knees and palms and all she could see was the gray and white of the frosty sidewalk.
What..?
The sounds of Bucky beating the handsome stranger to hell and back sounded less like flesh and flesh and more like muffled gunshots in a far distance. Nothing sounded right, nothing looked right, and she still felt so sick.
Cold… She was so cold. So…why was there sweat dripping from her brow?
Like a beacon in the night, Bucky’s are came to save her, pulling her from the depths of a gray world so she could see his face. She could hear him talking, and she knew what he was saying, but… It still made no sense to her addled mind. Faintly, she could comprehend gentle reassurances, but that was it.
“My hero,” she mumbled softly, a dull smile dusting her features before she gave in, nuzzling his shoulder once before her eyes succumbed to their growing heaviness and she drifted off.
Bucky frowned as she fell asleep, settling her in one side of the cab, gave his address after not finding her key on her, and then settled in for the drive. Carefully, he wiped her brow as the sheen of sweat collected, holding her gently and lightly letting his fingers trail over her arm.
Once they were at his home, he paid the driver and got her inside with some difficulty, holding her purse in between his teeth as he carried her to his bed. Locking up before he set to changing her carefully. His hands shook as he removed her outfit and replaced it with a pair of his shorts and a dark tshirt. Tucking her in, Bucky whispered a soft ‘goodnight. ‘ Dimming the bedroom light, he made sure her phone was plugged in on the nightstand, the hall light was on, and she had three bottles of water near by.
When morning came, Bucky was leaned on the counter in his kitchen, the scent of coffee, bacon, and pancakes filled the entire apartment. The window that overlooked the already crowded streets of NYC was cracked open while the winter solider puffed at a cigarette, his blue eyes tired. He hadn’t slept. despite trying. He had ended up walking back to his room where Tatiana lay to check her temperature and make sure she was sleeping well, his hand had often rested against her neck as he checked her pulse every twenty minutes, the rest of the time was spent checking the locks.
When Tatiana awoke, it was with hazy eyes, the world around her blurry, but familiar. As she blinked a few times, her vision cleared and she could see a simple bedroom, with a wooden wardrobe right in front of her. If she glanced up, she’d find her phone within arms reach.
Reaching up to grab it, she winced, moving to sit up. Her skin ached and her blood felt like fire. What… What had happened? She couldn’t remember. The last thing she recalled was sitting down for a drink at the bar. She’d been there so many times; she felt safe there. On screen, she had various missed calls from her brother and Steve, groaning when she read them.
As the texts went on, they got more frantic, driving an exhausted groan from her burning throat. Had she gotten sick? Who…who had she slept with? She was almost certain that she knew them. The room was… Eerily familiar.
Climbing out of bed on quaking legs, she dropped her phone on the bed and stumbled out of the room. Bracing a hand on the wall to keep her upright, she found her way down the hall and into the main area, freezing at who she saw there.
Oh my fucking god…
“Barnes?” She asked, rubbing her forehead and staring at him. Oh no, no, anyone but him. Why this? “Uh- well, I can’t lie, I wasn’t expecting that. Listen, I want to lead this by saying that… I- I don’t normally do things like this, I swear.”
James glanced up and rolled his eyes slightly, holding a hand up to silence the thin beauty before him. She really looked stunning in his clothes...
"Don't worry, you didn't sleep with anyone. Bettin' you don't remember what happened, do you, doll?" He asked as he straightened and tapped out his smoke in a nearby ashtray. Pulling her food onto a plate, he slid it onto the small table that sat between the counters and the wall.
"D'you find your phone?" He asked as he set to making her coffee, setting it down with her plate, along with the creamer and sugar tin. His eyes flicked over the young woman, she looked spooked. He knew how ill she must feel...
"You'll want to call your doctor anr get a drug screen.. when I saw you, you weren't yourself. Not sure what you were on but... The guy behind it is in a holding cell." Bucky spoke matter of factly, the worry etched on his face was unadulterated, he didn't have the energy to joke or pretend he didn't care.
He cared more than he should for someone who would never see him as more than a pity case.
1. Interesting- note worthy; thought-provoking; fascinating; attracting; appealing; attention-grabbing; captivating; gripping; invigorating; engrossing; engaging; electrifying.
2. Beautiful- striking; stunning; magnificent; lovely; charming; gorgeous; radiant; dazzling.
3. Good- acceptable, wonderful, exceptional; positive; brilliant; first-rate; notable; stellar; favorable; superb; marvellous; prime.
4. Bad- awful; lousy; poor; unacceptable; crummy; dreadful; rough; inferior; substandard; atrocious; appalling; dreadful; defective.
5. Look- glance; fixate; observe; stare; gaze; peer; scan; watch; study; browse; eye; glimpse; review; inspect.
6. Nice- lovely; superior; pleasant; satisfying; delightful; likeable; agreeable; correct; adequate; swell; fair; okay; approved.
7. Very- extremely; exceedingly; exceptionally; immensely; tremendously; abundantly; particularly; remarkably.
8. Fine- satisfactory; worthy; respectable; exquisite; suitable; well; imposing; decent; admirable; praise-worthy; decent.
9. Happy- cheerful; delighted; pleased; content; amused; thrilled; elated; thrilled; ecstatic; on cloud 9.
10. Really- genuinely; truly; honestly; actually; undoubtedly; certainly; remarkably; incredibly; downright; unquestionably; extremely.
11. Sad- miserable; gloomy; devastated; down at heard; distraught; distressed; dispirited; sorrowful; downcast; feeling blue; desolate.
12. Big- massive; huge; giant; gigantic; enormous; large; colossal; immense; bulky; tremendous; hefty; sizable; extensive; great; substantial.
13. Shocked- taken aback; lost for words; flabbergasted; staggered; outraged; astonished; astounded; stunned; speechless; appalled.
14. Small- tiny; petite; mini; miniature; microscopic; minuscule; compact; pocket-sized; cramped; puny; undersized; limited; meager; modest; minute; pint-sized.
15. Angry- irate; enraged; touchy; cross; resentful; indignant; infuriated; wound-up; worked-up; seething; raging; heated; bitter; bad-tempered; offended; frustrated.
16. Know- understand; comprehend; realize; learn; perceive; recognize; grasp; sense.
17. Change- alter; transform; replace; diversify; adjust; adapt; modify; remodel; vary; evolve; transfigure; redesign; refashion; advance; transition; shift; adjustment.
18. Old- aged; ancient; matured; elderly; senior; veteran; decrepit; seasoned; venerable; past one’s prime; doddering; senile.
19. Think- ponder; reflect; conceive; imagine; contemplate; consider; determine; realize; visualize; guess/assume; conclude; envision.
20. Funny- comical; ludicrous; amusing; droll; entertaining; absurd; hilarious; silly; whimsical; hysterical; joking; witty; facetious; slapstick; side-splitting; knee-slapping.
21. Go- move; proceed; advance; progress; travel; walk; journey; depart; exit; flee; make one’s way; clear out; get underway.
22. Give- grant; donate; hand-out; present; provide; deliver; hand over; offer; award; bestow; supply with; contribute to; send; entrust.
23. Get- acquire; obtain; receive; gain; earn; gather; collect; buy; purchase; attain; score; secure; take possession of; grab.
24. Easy- effortless; simple; clear; smooth; straightforward; uncomplicated; painless; accessible; apparent; basic; plain; child’s play; facile; elementary; cinch.
25. Fast- agile; brisk; rapid; nimble; swift; accelerated; fleeting; high-speed; active; dashing; winged; hurried; turbo.
She wasn’t drunk, far from it. Her mind was… well, she definitely wasn’t sober, but she wasn’t drunk, either. That was her statement and she’d stick to it. She’d only had one drink. She knew her limit well enough to know it was higher than fucking one, at least. That didn’t explain a damn thing about why she felt so far over her limit, though, but frankly, she didn’t care. She figured, maybe she was just even more sensitive because she hadn’t eaten in a while and it had been months since she’d had a drink. The brilliant doctor had been cooking to Oaky’s pub for years now with no problem, so why would she even think that someone might drug her? She felt safe here.
Something wasn’t right.
Swiftly, everything seemed to get blurrier and blurrier, until the dark haired doctor could hardly see straight. Her laughter was uncontrollable and her words slurred as she swayed, the world around her blurring into laughter while the words of those around her became near indistinguishable. It wasn’t until she felt an arm slide around her waist and a handsome stranger begin pulling her to her feet that she really began paying attention to her surroundings. He had dark hair and blue eyes. Exactly what she needed to get him out of her system.
“Woah, hey, calm down there big boy,” she giggled as he began leading her to the door silently. At the time, it was hard to place why she thought his behavior was odd. It just seemed off, but… She thought she was wrong, her unsteady feet finding trouble gaining their footing in her dazed state. She was… Lost, confused. The world around her looked like an abstract painting. She couldn’t see. The only guiding light she had was the grip on her wrist growing painfully tight. She heard the door and felt the icy winter wind rush in.
James had been wandering the streets of New York on his own for hours, his black hair tied in a low bun to keep the locks out of his face, the leather jacket he wore clung to his body like a glove. Blue eyes skimmed over the happenings of the late night wanders, people just as lost as he was, it seemed…
Every now and then he would meet eyes with strangers, loners like him, those without purpose and those running from demons and ghosts that clung to their lives, he would nod and nothing more as he passed by, unsure of where he was walking to. He had been cooped up for a while, not having the strength to leave his room at the compound. It had been a hard few weeks…
The sound of a voice he knew like honey in tea caught his ear, trained eyes falling on Tatiana with ease… A stranger was gripping her, the giggling doctor he knew seemed out of rights… He’d never seen her so… giddy? But her voice contradicted her movements and the glaze that covered her eyes. He hesitated, but when he tried to lead her into a car, Bucky knew… he had to stop him.
Whatever he was seeing was wrong. So very wrong.
“Hey,” His voice cut through the air like a hot knife as he made deliberate strides towards the pair, cool eyes resting on his friend, the woman he trusted more than almost anyone right now. “Why don’t you let the little lady go,” James almost growled, his hand moving to pull the stranger’s off the thin Stark as he inserted himself between the pair. glaring darkly.
“Tat, you okay? How many’d you have?” Bucky asked shortly as he kept a mean glare on the other male, his metal arm pulled back slightly and fist balled as he carefully guided Tatiana behind him.
Her eyes were hazy, Bucky’s voice pulling her gaze to him as she grinned. This wasn’t her normal drunk behavior. Even after several drinks, the petite doctor was understated. She tended to keep to herself, drunk or not, and most certainly wasn’t one to stumble out the door of her favorite bar and get in the car with a silent stranger. Nor was she the type of woman to throw her head back and grin at Barnes dopily. “Hey handsome,” She slurred, dainty hand reaching up towards his face as she snorted. “I was just thinking about you, you know?” She mumbled, head lolling clumsily before she moved behind Bucky obediently. Her legs didn’t want to hold her, but they stayed underneath her slim body, for now.
“This doesn’t concern you, buddy,” The sandy haired stranger said, his eyes darting around for an escape, an opening something. “She came with me willingly. She could’ve said no if she wanted to stay.” His voice was hard, laced with hostility. He looked… erratic, panicked. “So just go on with your night and leave the lovely miss alone, yeah?” As he spoke, his hand moved, pushing his shirt back gently. His hand shook, his lips pressing thin as he looked at Bucky with wild eyes. His hand grabbed something and in the night, the light of the bar seemed to glint off of something metal tucked into his belt just beneath his hand.
Bucky didn’t move from his place in front of Tatiana, his icey blue eyes looked more like steal that had caught fire as he took in her behavior. The man knew better than to guess she was just plastered, it was too early for that, and even if she was plastered she would have never willingly stepped behind him if she truly was in her right mind. The words spilling from her lips only proved to James that she was not herself.
‘Drugs’ he thought before he caught the small metallic glint of what seemed to be a blade at the stranger’s hip. ‘Bad move’, the dark thought rang in his mind before he let his fleshy hand press to the thin doctor behind him, keeping her close as his concealed metal arm braced in front of him, the bright metal covered by his jacket and a leather glove.
“I don’t think so, buddy,” he spat out. “Unlike you, I know her. I know how she behaves when she’s drunk, and when she’s sober. You have no idea who you’re messing with so I’d suggest moving along before I make sure you don’t walk away. “
Winter trailed just behind him, the crueler side of James foaming at the mouth as rage curled in his stomach, his lips downturned in a scowl. “Now, make your choice. Try me. I’ve killed people when I was calm, imagine what I’ll do when I’m pissed.”
The stranger began to sweat, swallowing thickly. Common sense said to walk on, keep the hunt for another day, but his pride disagreed. Who did this guy think he was, walking up her and trying to insinuate himself? Nah, that wasn’t gonna fucking fly.
“You think you’re a tough guy? Yeah? Then come the fuck on.” He lifted the glinting blade of his knife between them, bloodshot eyes fixed on Bucky now. “I’ll cut you to pieces, then take your bitch home anyways.” That’s when the crash hit. All at once, Tatiana felt sick, skin flushing as her chest grew tight, rivulets of sweat dripping down her skin as she shivered. Cold… christ it was so cold. Where was her jacket? Her stomach churned as the world seemed to fold and unfold around her, only one constant holding her thoughts. Bucky’s voice… Bucky…
He was… talking about…killing someone..? No… Bucky wouldn’t. Winter.
Stumbling forward, half blind, ignoring the violent protests of her body and the knotted twisting of her stomach, she threw her arms around Bucky, holding him tight. Fear gripped her. She couldn’t see!
“Bucky– don’t. Please, god, don’t kill him, please, don’t…don’t kill anyone!” The words felt easy, but sounded breathless, barely a helpless whimpering of a plea. God.. she was just so tired.
Without much movement, James let his metal arm flick upwards, the clink of both metals clashing chaotic. Not giving the man a chance to get in a hit, Bucky let his arm fly against the males wrist, sending the knife flying.
The words of Tatiana’s plea ghosted the Sargent’s ears as he shoved the creep back towards the wall, taking note of every feature he could. Greasy black hair and stone grey eyes. Hooked nose and a five o'clock shadow. A scar on his neck about the size of a dime. Things he would need for later.
“Tatiana, let go. ” The Winter Soldier’s words were cold and clipped before he pulled away, careful not to knock her over as he shed his jacket, dropping it over her shoulders before he dove into beating the dumb bastard. Not enough to kill him but he’d think twice about this shit.
Turning to walk towards the blade, the man kicked it into the gutter before picking the younger Stark sibling and carrying her away, so he could hail a cab, he could call the police, and get her home.
“You’ve got to be smart, Tat. I’m here though. Just breathe. ” Bucky’s voice had softened now that they were away from danger, low and strained as anger and worry coiled up his stiffened spine.
When her prop left her, her knees buckled, the forward motion of Bucky hurtling her towards the ground. The world around her moved too fast for her to process. Before she knew it, a cold feelings had washed over her knees and palms and all she could see was the gray and white of the frosty sidewalk.
What..?
The sounds of Bucky beating the handsome stranger to hell and back sounded less like flesh and flesh and more like muffled gunshots in a far distance. Nothing sounded right, nothing looked right, and she still felt so sick.
Cold… She was so cold. So…why was there sweat dripping from her brow?
Like a beacon in the night, Bucky’s are came to save her, pulling her from the depths of a gray world so she could see his face. She could hear him talking, and she knew what he was saying, but… It still made no sense to her addled mind. Faintly, she could comprehend gentle reassurances, but that was it.
“My hero,” she mumbled softly, a dull smile dusting her features before she gave in, nuzzling his shoulder once before her eyes succumbed to their growing heaviness and she drifted off.
Bucky frowned as she fell asleep, settling her in one side of the cab, gave his address after not finding her key on her, and then settled in for the drive. Carefully, he wiped her brow as the sheen of sweat collected, holding her gently and lightly letting his fingers trail over her arm.
Once they were at his home, he paid the driver and got her inside with some difficulty, holding her purse in between his teeth as he carried her to his bed. Locking up before he set to changing her carefully. His hands shook as he removed her outfit and replaced it with a pair of his shorts and a dark tshirt. Tucking her in, Bucky whispered a soft ‘goodnight. ‘ Dimming the bedroom light, he made sure her phone was plugged in on the nightstand, the hall light was on, and she had three bottles of water near by.
When morning came, Bucky was leaned on the counter in his kitchen, the scent of coffee, bacon, and pancakes filled the entire apartment. The window that overlooked the already crowded streets of NYC was cracked open while the winter solider puffed at a cigarette, his blue eyes tired. He hadn’t slept. despite trying. He had ended up walking back to his room where Tatiana lay to check her temperature and make sure she was sleeping well, his hand had often rested against her neck as he checked her pulse every twenty minutes, the rest of the time was spent checking the locks.
“What do you dream of?” Bucky asked in a lazy drawl, reclining in the bright light as the mid-afternoon sun kissed the skin of those who wandered outside. Thanks to some work Shuri had put in, his metal arm now looked like a normal arm, he seemed.. normal. So long as you didn’t look into his haunted blue eyes.
That morning he had gone out of his way to cut his hair, the long black locks had become a bit too much to keep up with. He leaned back as he rested his elbow on the side of the bench, a small smile curling his lips as he looked at Tatiana as she paced about. Did she ever slow down..?
“I mean… You’re a Stark, there’s so much you can do the moment you think of doing it. But what’s something you dream of, something that seems like it would be too good to be true. Something money can’t buy and you can’t build.”
These conversations were always nice, when they weren’t in their therapy sessions, they weren’t a patient who was severely destroyed and a doctor who tried to keep him in check. They were friends, they were equals. He didn’t have to worry about…. who he was when H.Y.D.R.A stole part of his life away.
The cottage they were at had been Tat’s for years. Despite the fact that it had been completely empty, she still shelled out the money for constant upkeep. What she didn’t tell Bucky was how she’d gotten it. Her converse-clad feet never stopped moving.
This cottage had been an early wedding present for Tatiana from her brother. The last time she’d been here was the day that would’ve been the last one of her honeymoon. She’d been blitzed out of her mind and in her drunken grief had tried to burn the place down. Now, she was grateful that she hadn’t. Despite the bittersweet burn being here left, she could think of nowhere she’d rather get away to, and for that matter, no one she’d rather get away with. It had happened slowly, behind her back, her frienship with Bucky. She’d never expected it to, but it had fallen into her lap, and now, she had one of the closest friends she’d ever known.
“That’s easy,” she laughed, her feet still following their trodden path. “Time travel. No money can buy something that doesn’t exists and in all attemps had proven impossible.” Her hair was tied in a messy bun, the loose strands framing her face falling to about chin length. This game was a favorite, something concocted in their therapy sessions in order to make Bucky feel more secure and less like he was being interrogated. The Question Game, they called it. You kept going, asking and answering questions untill someone ran out, then, they lost and owed you a boon.
“If you could have any dish from the 40’s that doesn’t exist today, what’d it be?” She fired back, pausing to cast a glance over her shoulder, the sun giving her skin a soft glow and lighting up her amber eyes as she looked at him, a small smile culing on her lips. Nothing could take away the pain of losing Danny, and she would never forget loving him, but… Did that mean she could never love again, or…was their still hope for her?
Nodding, Bucky listened as she explained, chucking at the thought. It was simple, yes, but it was still odd in his mind that it was what came to mind when dreams were in question. There were still so many mysteries that came with Tatiana Stark, but over time James had slowly inched his way inside the walls she had built. His relaxed hand moved, sliding through his freshly groomed hair as he thought. there were many foods that had been continued, altered but things didn’t change that much. Brows furrowing, the military man let his lips purse as he thought.
“Well, I guess that’s a bit harder to say… It’s not something you couldn’t make, most don’t though… but, I’d have to say icebox honey and lemon cookies. “ He said with a small chuckle, his hand sliding from his hair to his neck. “My nan used to have a batch in the cookie jar and another roll in the refrigerator to make real quick if the grandkids were coming by.”
Letting his eyes trail over the short beauty, he smiled, blue eyes meeting amber ones for a split second before his gaze flicked to the cloud spotted sky, picking out a few random shapes. Things had been relaxed these days, it felt safe, and normal. Like they were just two crazy kids taking it one day at a time… No war to fight, no battles to win…
“You’ve got to have a favorite Disney princess, right?” He inquired as his brows raised. The Stark sibling was very much like her older brother, but there were always surprisingly simple things that set her apart, and showed just how gentle, genuine, and feminine the woman could be. Even when kicking her brothers ass.
The gentle curl of her hair often reminded him of that, or the carefully painted eyeliner she wore. The intensity of the red lipstick she had worn every day since he had met her….
She was so beautiful.
And so out of his league.
“Jasmine.” She answered with a grin, standing still in her spot for a long moment. She couldn’t help but look him over and just… appreciate how he looked in that white t-shirt and jeans. It was probably one of the simplest outfits but damn if it didn’t get the softhearted young doctor warm under the collar. He looked so good it ought to be a sin. Maybe it was. Hell, what did she care? She was an atheist.
The question that came off the doctors lips after a good bit of stumbling and rambling made the sergeant’s eyebrows quirk, a smirk slowly building onto his face as he though back to the old days. He had dated quite a lot of pretty girls and handsome boys in his youth... There had been many times he would throw away his responsibilities just to run the town with someone. It was fun.
Those had been the good days, when he didn’t have to worry about someone saying a magic set of words, taking his life into their hands. Turning him into a monster that had murdered---
‘Too deep. Stop. Back to the question.’
“Well,” James laughed, a small blush burning his cheeks as he tore his mind away from the cliff that overlooked seas of guilt and pain, years he had lost to H.Y.D.R.A. People he had lost because of them. Blue eyes flicked back to Tatiana, his body shifting so he was better facing her,
“Oh yeah, of course. Loads of dates all the time, in fact I’m on one right now. “ The sarcasm dripped off his lips, a bit of resentment for Tony and Steve both as his smile dropped from his face, his hands fidgiting before he pulled the cardboard pack of smokes from his jeans, tearing it open and pulling one free. Next came a lighter as he glanced her over.
“I don’t exactly leave the compound without a shadow or someone with me. Dates would be kind of awkward, but,” the dark haired male’s voice trailed again as he lit the cigarette, taking a deep drag before releasing the grey smoke into the air, letting his finger hold the filter with an uncharacteristic gentility.
“If you’re offering, I won’t say no.”
"I can only hold them off for so long," Tat said, the visor of her suit making her voice sound metallic, nervousness rattling off in her tone. "So get out of here while you can." (Non established)
A scoff was the only sound as the tanned male smirked, his back pressed against a wall as black hair fell to frame his face.
"You're joking, right?" Bucky asked as he adjusted the gun in his hand, glancing beyond the edge of the wall as Tony approached. Checking his numbers he swung out, gun pointed at the red and gold clad hero as a red Lazer traced over the chest pad, a click sounding to signify Tony had been hit. Tucking again, James narrowly avoided Steve's lazer gun, hissing.
"Tat! Can you get a shot at Steve?!" The triple date was going well, despite the advantage the Stark's had with access to their suits. Tabbitha and Zander had been missing the entire round. Current tally was 25 shots for Bucky and Tat, 18 for Steve and Tony, and 26 for Tabs and Xander.
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“If they touch you, I’ll kill them.” “If they want to hurt you, they’ll have to go through me first.” “Do you want to die? No? Then back off.” “Get behind me. I’ll deal with this.” “You’re safe while I’m with you, okay? That’s why I can’t leave.” “I can only hold them off for so long! Go!” “Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself! I’ve got this!” “Do you want to kick their ass, or shall I?” “Anyone that lays a hand on you will face my wrath.”
“I’m having an existential crisis. I was coming up with New Years resolutions, and I realized I’m too far gone. There’s no fixing me now.” The words from the Sargent were clipped, his blue eyes hardened to match the glinting vibranium of his arm. The once playful man had been through hell more than his share of times, between fighting in a war, being brainwashed by H.Y.D.R.A... The issue with the Sokovia Accords, Stark... He was at his end.
James could remember times when New Years Eve was a great time, the ladies were easy to pick up, the alcohol cheap, the music loud. He had fun back in the day, waiting for the New Year to be brought in, often with a kiss or two from a stranger. Living in New York had it’s perks this time of the year, even if the snow was impossible to shift through some mornings.
Putting a cigarette between his teeth he lit it, inhaling as if the nicotine was the only cure for the poison in the air around him. The little red book haunted him. Without much time he could be changed back into the monster that had murdered countless people.
Like Howard and Maria.
Picking up his pace as he moved, he glanced back to the other person he had spoken to so gruffly, his cold gaze softening slightly as he frowned, pulling the lit smoke away, puffing out the grey cloud.
“It’s better if I just vanish. Make sure I’m far, far away from anyone at all times. I lived like that once. It wont be too much trouble to live like that again.” The lie was well worded, his chest tight at the thought of being so alone again. He finally had his friend back. Steve was back in his life and he hadn’t been a danger to people for a good long while. He’d made new friends.
‘If you really cared, you’d already be gone.’
Mods are asleep post forbidden tits
Huh
Perfectly balanced as all things should be…
Thanos approves of this and regrets the snap.
She wasn’t drunk, far from it. Her mind was… well, she definitely wasn’t sober, but she wasn’t drunk, either. That was her statement and she’d stick to it. She’d only had one drink. She knew her limit well enough to know it was higher than fucking one, at least. That didn’t explain a damn thing about why she felt so far over her limit, though, but frankly, she didn’t care. She figured, maybe she was just even more sensitive because she hadn’t eaten in a while and it had been months since she’d had a drink. The brilliant doctor had been cooking to Oaky’s pub for years now with no problem, so why would she even think that someone might drug her? She felt safe here.
Something wasn’t right.
Swiftly, everything seemed to get blurrier and blurrier, until the dark haired doctor could hardly see straight. Her laughter was uncontrollable and her words slurred as she swayed, the world around her blurring into laughter while the words of those around her became near indistinguishable. It wasn’t until she felt an arm slide around her waist and a handsome stranger begin pulling her to her feet that she really began paying attention to her surroundings. He had dark hair and blue eyes. Exactly what she needed to get him out of her system.
“Woah, hey, calm down there big boy,” she giggled as he began leading her to the door silently. At the time, it was hard to place why she thought his behavior was odd. It just seemed off, but… She thought she was wrong, her unsteady feet finding trouble gaining their footing in her dazed state. She was… Lost, confused. The world around her looked like an abstract painting. She couldn’t see. The only guiding light she had was the grip on her wrist growing painfully tight. She heard the door and felt the icy winter wind rush in.
James had been wandering the streets of New York on his own for hours, his black hair tied in a low bun to keep the locks out of his face, the leather jacket he wore clung to his body like a glove. Blue eyes skimmed over the happenings of the late night wanders, people just as lost as he was, it seemed…
Every now and then he would meet eyes with strangers, loners like him, those without purpose and those running from demons and ghosts that clung to their lives, he would nod and nothing more as he passed by, unsure of where he was walking to. He had been cooped up for a while, not having the strength to leave his room at the compound. It had been a hard few weeks…
The sound of a voice he knew like honey in tea caught his ear, trained eyes falling on Tatiana with ease… A stranger was gripping her, the giggling doctor he knew seemed out of rights… He’d never seen her so… giddy? But her voice contradicted her movements and the glaze that covered her eyes. He hesitated, but when he tried to lead her into a car, Bucky knew… he had to stop him.
Whatever he was seeing was wrong. So very wrong.
“Hey,” His voice cut through the air like a hot knife as he made deliberate strides towards the pair, cool eyes resting on his friend, the woman he trusted more than almost anyone right now. “Why don’t you let the little lady go,” James almost growled, his hand moving to pull the stranger’s off the thin Stark as he inserted himself between the pair. glaring darkly.
“Tat, you okay? How many’d you have?” Bucky asked shortly as he kept a mean glare on the other male, his metal arm pulled back slightly and fist balled as he carefully guided Tatiana behind him.
Her eyes were hazy, Bucky’s voice pulling her gaze to him as she grinned. This wasn’t her normal drunk behavior. Even after several drinks, the petite doctor was understated. She tended to keep to herself, drunk or not, and most certainly wasn’t one to stumble out the door of her favorite bar and get in the car with a silent stranger. Nor was she the type of woman to throw her head back and grin at Barnes dopily. “Hey handsome,” She slurred, dainty hand reaching up towards his face as she snorted. “I was just thinking about you, you know?” She mumbled, head lolling clumsily before she moved behind Bucky obediently. Her legs didn’t want to hold her, but they stayed underneath her slim body, for now.
“This doesn’t concern you, buddy,” The sandy haired stranger said, his eyes darting around for an escape, an opening something. “She came with me willingly. She could’ve said no if she wanted to stay.” His voice was hard, laced with hostility. He looked… erratic, panicked. “So just go on with your night and leave the lovely miss alone, yeah?” As he spoke, his hand moved, pushing his shirt back gently. His hand shook, his lips pressing thin as he looked at Bucky with wild eyes. His hand grabbed something and in the night, the light of the bar seemed to glint off of something metal tucked into his belt just beneath his hand.
Bucky didn’t move from his place in front of Tatiana, his icey blue eyes looked more like steal that had caught fire as he took in her behavior. The man knew better than to guess she was just plastered, it was too early for that, and even if she was plastered she would have never willingly stepped behind him if she truly was in her right mind. The words spilling from her lips only proved to James that she was not herself.
‘Drugs’ he thought before he caught the small metallic glint of what seemed to be a blade at the stranger’s hip. ‘Bad move’, the dark thought rang in his mind before he let his fleshy hand press to the thin doctor behind him, keeping her close as his concealed metal arm braced in front of him, the bright metal covered by his jacket and a leather glove.
“I don’t think so, buddy,” he spat out. “Unlike you, I know her. I know how she behaves when she’s drunk, and when she’s sober. You have no idea who you’re messing with so I’d suggest moving along before I make sure you don’t walk away. “
Winter trailed just behind him, the crueler side of James foaming at the mouth as rage curled in his stomach, his lips downturned in a scowl. “Now, make your choice. Try me. I’ve killed people when I was calm, imagine what I’ll do when I’m pissed.”
The stranger began to sweat, swallowing thickly. Common sense said to walk on, keep the hunt for another day, but his pride disagreed. Who did this guy think he was, walking up her and trying to insinuate himself? Nah, that wasn’t gonna fucking fly.
“You think you’re a tough guy? Yeah? Then come the fuck on.” He lifted the glinting blade of his knife between them, bloodshot eyes fixed on Bucky now. “I’ll cut you to pieces, then take your bitch home anyways.” That’s when the crash hit. All at once, Tatiana felt sick, skin flushing as her chest grew tight, rivulets of sweat dripping down her skin as she shivered. Cold… christ it was so cold. Where was her jacket? Her stomach churned as the world seemed to fold and unfold around her, only one constant holding her thoughts. Bucky’s voice… Bucky…
He was… talking about…killing someone..? No… Bucky wouldn’t. Winter.
Stumbling forward, half blind, ignoring the violent protests of her body and the knotted twisting of her stomach, she threw her arms around Bucky, holding him tight. Fear gripped her. She couldn’t see!
“Bucky– don’t. Please, god, don’t kill him, please, don’t…don’t kill anyone!” The words felt easy, but sounded breathless, barely a helpless whimpering of a plea. God.. she was just so tired.
Without much movement, James let his metal arm flick upwards, the clink of both metals clashing chaotic. Not giving the man a chance to get in a hit, Bucky let his arm fly against the males wrist, sending the knife flying.
The words of Tatiana's plea ghosted the Sargent's ears as he shoved the creep back towards the wall, taking note of every feature he could. Greasy black hair and stone grey eyes. Hooked nose and a five o'clock shadow. A scar on his neck about the size of a dime. Things he would need for later.
"Tatiana, let go. " The Winter Soldier's words were cold and clipped before he pulled away, careful not to knock her over as he shed his jacket, dropping it over her shoulders before he dove into beating the dumb bastard. Not enough to kill him but he'd think twice about this shit.
Turning to walk towards the blade, the man kicked it into the gutter before picking the younger Stark sibling and carrying her away, so he could hail a cab, he could call the police, and get her home.
"You've got to be smart, Tat. I'm here though. Just breathe. " Bucky's voice had softened now that they were away from danger, low and strained as anger and worry coiled up his stiffened spine.
