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Reblogged defectivegembrain
BREAKING NEWS: cozy time
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Makes a Guy who kills you in every lifetime but it’s not even romantic or sexual, it’s just kinda inconvenient. He’s just got terrible timing, like very awkward
Physically you could kill him first but god he’s so pathetic it would 100% make you the bad guy here. People would definitely judge you for it.
Reblogged a-mysterious-ghost
I low-key love the fact that sci-fi has so conditioned us to expect to be hanging out with a bunch of cool space aliens, that legitimate, actual scientists keep proposing the most bizarre, three-blunts-into-the-rotation "theories" to explain the fact we're not.
Some of my favourites include:
Zoo Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they're not talking to us because of the Prime Directive from Star Trek? (Or because they're doing experiments on us???)
Dark Forest Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they all hate us and each other so they're all just waiting with a shotgun pointed at the door, ready to open fire on anything that moves?
Planetarium Theory: What if there's at least one alien with mastery over light and matter that's just making it seem to us that the universe is empty to us as, like, a joke?
Berserker Theory: What if there were loads of aliens, but one of them made infinite killer robots that murdered everyone and are coming for us next?!!
Like, the universe is at least 13,700,000,000 years old and 46,000,000,000 light years big. We have had the ability to transmit and receive signals for, what, 100 years, and our signals have so far travelled 200 light years?
The fact is biological life almost certainly has, does, or will develop elsewhere in the universe, and it's not impossible that a tiny amount of it has, does, or will develop in a way that we would understand as "intelligent". But, like, we're realistically never going to know because of the scale of the things involved.
So I'm proposing my own hypothesis. I call it the "Fool in a Field" hypothesis. It goes like this:
Humanity is a guy standing in the middle of a field at midnight. It's pitch black, he can't move, and he's been standing there for ages. He's just had the thought to swing his arms. He swings one of his arms, once, and does not hit another person. "Oh no!" He says. "Robots have killed them all!"
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Fuck you, London!
If you’re dumb enough to get involved with the paranormal, you’re a big enough shmuck to come to the Magnus Institute!
Cursed books! Deadly artifacts! Avatars!
If you think you’re going to find any meaningful help at the Magnus Institute, you can kiss my ass!
It’s our belief that you’re such a stupid motherfucker, you’ll fall for this bullshit! Guaranteed!
If you find anywhere else to listen to you about your supernatural encounters, shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ass!
Bring your trauma! Bring your statements! Don’t bring your loved ones, it’ll fuck them over!
That’s right, it’ll fuck them over! Because at the Magnus Institute you’re fucked six ways from Sunday!
So take a hike to the Magnus Institute, home of Challenge Archiving! That’s right, Challenge Archiving!
How does it work? If you can recite your traumatic experience in six minutes or less, you get lifelong horrific nightmares!
Don’t wait! Don’t delay! Don’t fuck with us, or we will pipe murder you!
Only at the Magnus Institute, the only paranormal research institute that tells you to fuck off!
Hurry up, asshole! Our involvement ends the minute you finish giving your statement, and it better be a true statement or you’re a Beheld motherfucker!
Go to hell! The Magnus Institute: London’s spookiest, and exclusive home of some of the most traumatized sons of bitches in the country of England!
Guaranteed!
Reblogged gaelic-symphony
Mmmm medication :) I love you medication. Modern medicine makes my life so much better. "Ohh you're so young maybe you'll want to taper off..." no thank you, I will keep taking the pills that resolve my symptoms :) thank you pharmacology I love you
Reblogged mystic-merc
For those who are not familiar, the Death Note is a supernatural notebook from the titular manga and anime. The basic rules of the book are as follows:
- If someone writes the name of another person in the book while visualizing their face, that person will die.
- The time, cause, and circumstances of death can be specified within reason.
- If details are not specified or are not possible, the victim will die of a heart attack.
- If the owner gives up the book, they lose all their memories of owning it.
For the sake of the poll, if more than one motivation applies, select the most important one. The definition of the options and the specifics of the fantasy are not particularly important here, I am mostly interested in the moral stances and rationale of other people.
Reblogged jewishpangolin
My bearded dragon is fascinated by the falling snow outside. He keeps going to the window to stare at it. He woke up from brumating to look at the snow.
He’s a desert species smh what does he want to do with snow...
artist rendition of my lizard absolutely entranced by the falling snow
Reblogged promithiae
We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?
Reblogged zonatcannibalism
on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.
No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.
btc-official
“why don’t they teleport back” because they’re not on the planet where everyone can teleport anymore. try to keep up dumbass
the moral of the story is that a breathable atmosphere is important to one’s general well-being