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ShinyGem's Shenanigans

@shinygemstone / shinygemstone.tumblr.com

My bitch ass will reblog anything and everything I think is remotely entertaining. Yeah, I'm winning at this whole Tumblr thing. (pfp is from @daily-mees) all pronouns, atheist, pansexual, genderfuck, adult

Just remembered that I'm very bad at remembering to tag things/provide image IDs/etc and people on this webbed site use those.

If you have something that you want me to tags or anything like that, this is the spot to let me know. I understand that not everyone likes being bombarded with Splatoon fanart on the dash and life's too short to not block tags, so this is the spot where I can gather all that shit in one place.

thinking about that one old post that was like "elon musk is like a stupid person's idea of a smart person" and people got mad like "how dare you call him stupid" and the op was just like "no, I'm calling YOU stupid"

and then it turned out that elon was WAY more stupid than even those of us who knew at the time he was a dipshit understood

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

there are only two genders: frog and pig

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

oh god

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

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autisticexpression

This is the worst addition to this post

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

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ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

anyone in this thread smoke weed

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

I think that what they are talking about is perfectly clear.

Amogus

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Closest match: Clivina fossor genome assembly, chromosome: 13 Common name: Digger Slope-rumped Beetle

Girls only want one thing and it’s to flip a series of overhead switches and to punch a few glowing buttons to start up the spaceship

Anonymous asked:

What, in your opinion, Ralsei is?

Green crayon, horns headband or something else entirely?

Honestly? I feel like we don't have enough information at this point. I want to say that the most likely, of things we have now, is the Horns - but even then, I highly doubt it?

When it comes to these sorts of narrative things, Toby has 100% been dropping hints since the beginning and just been INCREDIBLY vague about it.

If he were a NORMAL darkener, then he'd turn to stone alongside everyone else when outside of his designated "area", wouldn't he? And he's not a normal darkener - no matter the dark world, Ralsei can go in, and never petrify.

I feel he's made from darkness in some way, but not in a literal sense. There's something about his connection to Kris and the fact he LOOKS like things that Kris, specifically, seems to like and care about. Notably, he looks like a green crayon, he has the horns Kris wanted to have, and he looks like Kris's brother.

Ralsei was specifically crafted to Kris's preferences in some way, shape, or form, and I don't fully know why - but I ALSO don't think it was something Ralsei CHOSE to look like. He just does. It's complicated! I don't really think we have the knowledge yet to make a full decision. I think the closest I feel like he could be is a manifestation of everything Kris wishes they were (with the exception of Ralsei's gender of course)

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guys I might have to make another file to continue The Truth lmaooo, its genuinely taking a lot of time now to open the file on my computer

im realizing all this silly vessposting is probably giving yall a false sense of security as for how they are in the comic. Smiles

Y’know, it’s kinda weird that Ralsei doesn’t try to wear that cloak the whole time, if it’s the one shown in the Prophecy.

what do you think?

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in chapter 1 susie tells him to get rid of the cloak because it was making it hard to hear him speak, so he figures taking it off is okay since it'd probably be harder to help guide the heroes to carry out the prophecy if they couldn't hear him properly. then throughout the rest of the game he realizes he's starting to like not hiding who he is, and at the end of chapter 1 he even takes off another layer of the disguise because he's so happy to have met new friends! ah it wouldn't matter too much if he's wearing something different to what's shown in the stained glass murals, he's still a prince from the dark. and after all, their fate is already decided!!

but susie wasn't supposed to be the one to enter the supply closet dark world with kris, no... it should have been noelle. noelle is the supposed second hero, the girl with hope crossed on her heart. and if it were noelle, she wouldn't have told ralsei to take the cloak off. noelle in chapter 1 was very "polite, out of your way, not one to speak up" and i seriously doubt she would have told him to do that like susie. that's the original prophecy, that's how it should have gone. that's why he's wearing the cloak in the prophecy, because susie was never supposed to be the second hero in the first place, him taking the cloak off was never intended but it happened and it's so great that it did.

without susie, ralsei wouldn't have gone through so much character development. he wouldn't have gotten so much out of this journey, he wouldn't have become his own person. he would have just stayed a shadow... the hat, the cloak.. him taking them off and never coming back is growth. he doesn't have to hide anymore, and the prophecy can certainly be changed...

edit: huh, i thought there being 4 characters in the prophecy was a well known theory (is it even only a theory at this point)

okay well if you wanna hear my take on it it's below the cut this answer has gotten longer than it should be. obviously spoilers for chapter 3 and 4 including secret boss spoilers

updated my answer in case people who saw the initial one didn't see :3

My mother is all into homesteading and off-grid living videos right now. Every time I check up on her, this is what she wants to talk about.

It gives her a sense of peace and purpose I guess. Which is good, she’s been struggling to find that with her injuries and condition. She’s learning skills, and feeling prepared for “the worst”. Like I can’t get her to stop watching conspiracy theory bullshit on YouTube so at least this kind of content alleviates some of the anxiety the other content amplifies, because she feels like she can do something now to secure her safety later.

But to get through these conversations, I have to tell myself— hey, if natural disaster comes our way, some of this might be useful. But I know she’s not just thinking a big storm or natural disaster. She’s preparing for the collapse of society. And I don’t know how to break it to her that we wouldn’t survive that. You can make long lasting candles with crisco? Cool. Where you going to by crisco when society collapses? You’ll stock up now? Ok cool. What will you do when it runs out? Honestly, before it runs out, what will you do when people with guns come to take your various stockpiled supplies?

If we hit a point where society collapses, we’re done for. Food, medicine, etc. we can’t survive without society, without a world where people are working together trying to help each other out.

So, I’ll go through with this shit in the name of natural disaster preparedness, and because it helps her. But that’s as far as I’m willing to put energy into it. I refuse to prepare for, bet on, or hope for the collapse of society. I’d rather spend my energy trying to prevent society collapsing, what little part I can play in that. I’d rather spend my energy supporting people in my community. I’d rather work and build towards a better future, not prepare for the worst.

OP, if your mother is physically able to do the following, I strongly suggest it:

Get her into a fibercraft. Sewing, knit, crochet. Because here’s the thing:

At first, you can pitch it as “we’re all still gonna need clothes and these idiots with their doomsday bunkers can’t even thread a needle.” But after awhile—let this take a bit of time, not so long that she gets bored but long enough that she’s like “I’ve DONE this already”—introduce her to a slightly more advanced concept. She was practicing on circle skirts? Check out how to make darts. Crochet blankets? There are SO MANY cool stitches.

And then when the craft has a decent grip as a hobby….THEN you introduce her to a crafting social group.

One of the best ways to stop people falling down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole is to make sure they have active and diverse community, and being able to make tangible things has been shown to have a positive influence on mental health. If cost is a concern, I literally have spare crochet hooks I could send you to get her started and all I’d ask for them is cost of postage, which is like. Maybe three bucks. You can even find halfway decent yarn at the dollar store now. It’s not amazingly high quality, but it’s good enough for practice and learning.

I cannot recommend the above enough. My dad is a prepper and was falling in with a militia. Like the white supremacy militias.

So I started casually mentioning i wanted to do Search and Rescue- knowing my father is incredibly competitive and will try and out do me.

I was all "but we can't rely on the government to find people!"

Now he has been on 6 different tours in the US. He is a field commander and the most successful in state history.

He independently made a partnership with a Black and Missing coalition and partners with them on searches for Black Ohio and.

He called me the other day so proud he has " a Trans and a nonbinary whatever that is" on his search team. So is he perfect? No. But now he isn't toting a gun around and threatening people.

He's getting better. Sure he built a secret bunker in the basement. But he's recovered multiple bodies and reunited people with loved ones.

Sure we still can't have a conversation without him divulging into some bigoted speak here and there.

But he's been lead in recovering teens trafficked from our state and successfully recovered them in Georgia in 10 hours.

Sure he isn't perfect. But he didn't fall completely and maybe he will become even better on his own.

The secret is: is they aren't going to become themselves again but you can help them not crumble completely. You can still have your parent even if they are a bit.. ahhhh.... hurtful. But they aren't hurting anyone and that's the important part.

We are what we become. So help people become in a good direction.

Part of the reason people (particularly white people) of a certain age fall down the doomsday preparation hole into conspiracy theorist is

there is very little community for non-churchgoing white folks.

There is such a push in white culture to get your kids out the door and settled in their own home after you've raised them nearly exclusively alone for 20 years. Your work friends are your work friends. You retire and they don't see you anymore.

You don't go to church? All of the church groups don't see you.

Because the prevalent culture among white people is go it alone. If you're lucky and not divorced, you get your partner, but usually the go it alone is so pervasive that even working as a team with one other person is usually too hard, not to mention the stress of only having one person and how you have no place to vent about that person when needed (and everyone sometimes needs to vent about their loved ones no matter how good the relationship.)

So you get to this place where your culture has led you and you have grown-up kids, no spouse, no friends, and a whole lot of undefinable resentment about your life that you're not supposed to feel.

And this person on youtube comes along and says "Fuck them all, society will collapse any day now."

And you nod along in agreement.

But if you have a hobby, and start making friends from that hobby?

Suddenly that support system vents all of those icky building resentments and you can depend on people and make friends and have relationships and the world doesn't feel so bad.

Honestly, white culture takes a pack animal and puts it in a cage alone and then wonders why so many white people are miserable, racist pricks.

I'm Jewish and we have Oneg after services (light brunch foods, usually vegetarian, along with challah and Kiddush wine)

However, My sister worked at IHOP and Church rush was a thing so I want to know if the rest of you guys get food after sitting through services at your place of worship.

I would have added more religion options but there's only 12 options on Tumblr. And if you're wondering why I added the Jewish option when Judaism is a small religion, it's because I'm Jewish and I have a large Jewish following, but please if you aren't Jewish please reblog so this can venture outside my jewish circle.

I think I may never be sad ever again. There is a statue entitled "Farewell to Orpheus" on my college campus. It's been there since 1968, created by a Prof. Frederic Littman that use to work at the university. It sits in the middle of a fountain, and the fountain is often full of litter. I have taken it upon myself to clean the litter out when I see it (the skimmers only come by once a week at max). But because of my style of dress, this means that bystanders see a twenty-something on their hands and knees at the edge of the fountain, sleeves rolled up, trying not to splash dirty water on their slacks while their briefcase and suit coat sit nearby. This is fine, usually. But today was Saturday Market, which means the twenty or so people in the area suddenly became hundreds. So, obviously, somebody stopped to ask what I was doing. "This," I gestured at the statue, "is Eurydice. She was the wife of Orpheus, the greatest storyteller in Greece. And this litter is disrespectful." Then, on a whim, I squinted up at them. "Do you know the story of Orpheus and Eurydice?" "No," they replied, shifting slightly to sit.

"Would you like to?"

"Sure!"

So I told them. I told them the story as I know it- and I've had a bit of practice. Orpheus, child of a wishing star, favorite of the messenger god, who had a hard-working, wonderful wife, Eurydice; his harp that could lull beasts to passivity, coax song from nymphs, and move mountains before him; and the men who, while he dreamed and composed, came to steal Eurydice away. I told of how she ran, and the water splashed up on my clothes. But I didn't care. I told of how the adder in the field bit her heel, and she died. I told of the Underworld- how Orpheus charmed the riverman, pacified Cerberus with a lullaby, and melted the hearts of the wise judges. I laughed as I remarked how lucky he was that it was winter- for Persephone was moved by his song where Hades was not. She convinced Hades to let Orpheus prove he was worthy of taking Eurydice. I tugged my coat back on, and said how Orpheus had to play and sing all the way out of the Underworld, without ever looking back to see if his beloved wife followed. And I told how, when he stopped for breath, he thought he heard her stumble and fall, and turned to help her up- but it was too late. I told the story four times after that, to four different groups, each larger than the last. And I must have cast a glance at the statue, something that said "I'm sorry, I miss you--" because when I finished my second to last retelling, a young boy piped up, perhaps seven or eight, and asked me a question that has made my day, and potentially my life: "Are you Orpheus?" I told the tale of the grieving bard so well, so convincingly, that in the eyes of a child I was telling not a story, but a memory. And while I laughed in the moment, with everyone else, I wept with gratitude and joy when I came home. This is more than I deserve, and I think I may never be sad again.

Here is the aforementioned statue, by the way.

Dragons and dwarves sharing a symbiotic relationship. Dragons needing large tunnels and treasures, and dwarves already enjoying digging for treasures coming to a mutually beneficial arrangement. The dragons keep the dwarves safe and protected from invaders and in return the dwarves help keep their combined hoardes preserved. Imagine dwarves being the only ones able to ride dragons. They know how to polish swords and dragon scales so beautifully they look like treasures themselves. Dragons lending shed scales to give dwarves fireproof armor. Dwarves maintaining dragon egg chambers and bonding with a dragon from hatching, mutually respecting one another from the start. Dragons calling their personal dwarf rider by a gem name in reference to them being part of their treasure as a form of endearment and respect.

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