The Tower Is Guarded By A Powerful Seal

primadonna girl……………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yeah

as a completely cis dude, I would press this button immediately, without question. There are a lot of things I would do for money, but shit I'd do this for like 20 bucks... maybe less?

She said with all too much confidence

A DAY!?!?!?

happy almost one year anniversary to arch-user having her realization in well under 24 hours

edit: i checked. it took 6 hours.

vampires will never hurt you hilarious song. someone get me to the doctor and someone call the nurse and someone buy me roses and someone burned the church we’re hanging out with corpses and driving in this hearse. like we’re just listing goth shit that rules

if the kraken and sharks get good at the same time we will have a beautiful toxic rivalry <3

current events at the bottom of the pacific

Your periodical reminder that cats love people just as much as dogs even if apparently the average person is too much of an emotionally stunted extrovert to get it. They don't feel spite or whatever fucked up emotions one would wanna assign to them.

Cats are little goblins who love parallel play, that's why they sit in front of your computer screen and paw at shit on your desk for attention.

its crazy that different pasta shapes are actually like. different. like i know for a fact farfalle fucks harder than conchiglie and fusilli. fusilli is a basic bitch pasta. spaghetti is a classic cant go wrong but replace it with linguine and youve got a whole new meal. and fettuccine??? basically a marriage proposal from the chef. what is it about the shapes.... well. i couldnt tell yuou.

as a former escape room host i highly recommend doing an escape room as a first date. its a great way to learn how ppl react under pressure and how well they collaborate with you right off the bat. also more than once ive seen people enter an escape room as a couple and exit broken up LOL its a fantastic litmus test

sorry to broadcast ur tags but this is also a valuable part of the litmus test! it seems like you learned a lot about how this person makes you feel in their social group. they didn't go out of their way to include you, and neither did their friends. therefore you can come to a pretty good conclusion about how you might feel being part of their life outside of an escape room; someone who doesnt include you or your feelings in a game is likely going to do the same in other situations

Winter has arrived on Poob.

Start your 7 day free trial of Poob today, and watch smash hit Martin Scorcese's Goncharov.

me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

It's been 5 years.

any ideas guys

official boob post

While making dinner tonight, I very very fleetingly, but very seriously and legitimately thought “I should watch Goncharov tonight”

And then I Remembered.

That it's no longer on poob?

does anyone have the screenshot of the comment on the youtube video of molten iron slag being poured where it's a guy describing his experience witnessing the same thing written in the most beautiful prose imaginable

@f2tal @barabones with your key addition of 'seagulls,' i was able to find it!

i was having a lil frustration meltdown today when i was interrupted by my bestie sending me a video of a bug crawling fast with Mario Kart music playing and i reacted so similarly to this gif its eerie

I know that realistically you can only fit so many movies into a list of approximately 100, but I cannot take that "How many of tumblr's favorite movies have you seen?" list that's been going around seriously because there are some truly egregious omissions.

Some of it is very clearly recency bias, which makes me wonder if the op truly wasn't on here in 2013 or so, but you're telling me you made a list of "tumblr's favorite movies" that doesn't include Pacific Rim or Mad Max: Fury Road? Because, like, I was there, Gandalf.

I'm a ridiculous human and genuinely couldn't sleep until I tried my hand at a better, more balanced list -- though of course, I have my own biases when it comes to what corners of this website I've lurked in over the years. For what it's worth, I did consult the last several Years In Review, while also drawing on the fact that I've been here for over a decade. But if there's anything that truly doesn't feel like it should have made the cut, blame my mutuals for putting it on my dash all the time.

(And apologies, but I couldn't seem to find Goncharov among the website's listings)

been reposting my tumblr posts on bluesky. don't tell those chumps i'm feeding them my leftovers lmao