but i’m still here

she sounds like she sucks

i got called a misogynist for this one

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

just saw a sign on the side of the road that said “you misunderstood: bring back my lawnmower” that six word story goes crazy

it's not glamorous, but it's also not honest work, and nobody needs to do it

very first reply knocks it out of the park

Have I ever told the story here about how I accidentally saw Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time while knowing absolutely nothing about the movie at all at 8:10 AM in a literal room filled with theater students who absolutely DID know about it.

So, at 19, I was in college and needed a couple of elective credits. Decided to go with Intro to Film because everyone said it was an easy class and it sounded fairly interesting. The only time it was offered was the early class, though. Whatever. I signed up.

It WAS an interesting class. I quite enjoyed it even if it was fuckoff early in the morning. About halfway through the semester the professor, who was an Old Theater Nerd and looked Exactly like you would an expect a 65 year old gay theater dude to look, announced with some relish that next class we would be watching Rocky Horror Picture Show, and that we could go 'All Out' for the occasion.

This meant nothing to me. I had somehow entirely avoided the cultural zeitgeist attached to RHPS. I knew it was a cult classic and that was literally all. I figured that he was a fan and knew some of the students were and that was all.

The class, incidentally, was filled with exactly the sort of theater/film nerds you would expect to enjoy a film class. They reacted with glee. Someone asked if they could come in costume. The professor said 'of course'. I shrugged this off. I'd worn an elf costume to watch Lord of the Rings in theaters after all.

I was Not Prepared for the next Wednesday morning. I shuffled in with my coffee, half awake, and opened the classroom door to twenty people in costume doing the Time Warp in the front of the room. The professor was wearing a glittery gold tuxedo jacket and top hat. He did have pants on, likely because he was in a Professional Environment. They were also glittery gold.

I stood there in my sweatpants with my coffee, still squinty eyed, and wondered if it was some sort of weird dream and I was about to wake up and have to get ready for class all over again.

"Come on!" One of my delighted classmates yelled. He was dressed like Meatloaf. "Get in the spirit!"

"What." I said, kind of blankly.

This is how they discovered I had no idea what the fuck was going on. "A VIRGIN!" At least three people crowed, even more delighted.

Anyway the rest of that class went Exactly how a midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show would usually go. I sat in my usual place, absolutely baffled, trying to figure out how the fuck this was earning me college credits. I wandered into my literature class later still looking, apparently, like I'd been hit in the face with a very unexpected brick. My teacher, upon hearing what I'd experienced, laughed for a solid 30 seconds.

Anyway that's how I learned bisexuality existed!

reached the final phase of insanity regarding my fast food job (started viewing all my job observations through the lens of RPG Squidward)

i need to quit so bad

in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look

behold. my ugly son.

Species accurate version

i felt Compelled to draw this horrible child, i love him

for anyone unaware, BDS is calling for a boycott of Microsoft Game Pass, Minecraft, and New Xbox Consoles

[ID: Text excerpt:

A statement from the BNC laid out the rationale:

Microsoft is perhaps the most complicit tech company in Israel's illegal occupation, apartheid regime and ongoing genocide against 2.3 million Palestinains (sic) in Gaza which is why Microsoft is now a priority BDS target. Microsoft partners with the apartheid regime of Israel and its prison system. It provides the Israeli military with Azure cloud and AI services that are central to acceleration Israel's genocide of 2.3 million Palestinians in the illegally occupied Gaza Strip. After 34 years of deep complicity with Israel's military, the Israeli army relies heavily on Microsoft to meet technological requirements of its genocide and apartheid regime.

The committee is asking all those who have taken its pledge to take three concrete steps, according to a statement provided to Drop Site:

1. Cancel your Xbox Game Pass subscription

2. Boycott Candy Crush, Minecraft, and Call of Duty - flagship videogame franchises owned by Microsoft

3. Boycott all Microsoft Gaming products, including Xbox-branded consoles, headsets, accessories, and all games published by Microsoft-owned publishing labels (such as Xbox Game Studios, Activision, Bethesda and Blizzard)

End ID]

I love how Nintendo killed all the excitement for the Switch 2 by raising the prices of games by 30 bucks

"We want everyone to be able to experience the Switch 2" then why is it one william dollars.

jesus sensing you spawn into a crowded space 2000 years in the past with a body full of vaccines: God give me strength

straight men have beauty standards for men that are completely different than the beauty standards women and gay men have for men and then they get mad when they conform to the beauty standards other podcast bros set for them and women still don’t find them attractive

while you were busy arguing about phrenology on Twitter, lamenting your weak jawline and making fun of dudes who don’t go to the gym, beautiful fat polyamorous men with nerdy personalities were busy snatching up the baddest bitches in your town. c’est la vie.

There's a tiktok trend called "hear me out cakes" where you print out pictures of characters and actors that you basically have to justify wanting to fuck before taping it on a tooth pick and put it on a cake.

Most of the men who do this challenge will pick the fish from Shark Tales, Nala from Lion King (this was the one he actually had to fight for his life over), Shego and actors slightly older than 30 there was one guy who had Korra was his hear me out.

Meanwhile the girls are fucking xenomorphs, mathematical equations, the concept of Vine, Bananas in Pajamas and the Peanut M&M. One girl sprayed another girl with a water bottle because she put Bowser on cake and he was too basic.

If the trend has taught me anything is that girls will fuck literally anything as long as it has a charming personality and a sardonic smile. If you can't convince a girl to fuck you when she's got a centaur from fallout on her smash cake it has nothing to do with not having a jawline or a six pack it's because you're an insufferable human being.

I was going to post a picture of what a centaur in Fallout looks like for people unaware of the games, but uh, I'm literally afraid of people's reactions. Just...google it okay. It's not a centaur like you may be picturing in mythology and I need you to know that.

Generally I think straight men should not say faggot but this trea turner (baseball player) tweet is so fucking funny that it’s allowed I think

Bata Shoe Museum: T. E. Lawrence's gay sandals

Me: If anything will do numbers on Tumblr

Sad to be the one to tell y'all, but aborted children and children died before christening don't get into heaven. They go to the Limbus, the outermost circle of hell, where the souls go who are exempt from paradise without it being their fault

You need to update your sources

Since 2007 unbaptized children go to heaven and limbo doesn't exists anymore

mf aint even read the patch notes