u wot m8

in dark souls 4 you will be able to squirt a little extra honey onto the cheerieos if u dont think its sweet enough on its own

extra honey onto the cheerieos if u dont think its sweet enough on its own

I'm pregnant and I don't give a fuck whos it is

why would you hide this in the tags

im so in love with this post one time i got really really high and decided since i dont have a printer that i was going to paint it and hang it up on my wall

there's only 7 words on the painting and you managed to misspell the two largest ones

"there's only 2 colors in the night sky and you managed to paint completely new and different colors"

that's how you sound right now

I need to get into mobile game development so I can make puzzle games for middle aged moms. those women deserve better than predatory energy systems and weird fetish ads every 3 seconds. I could be the one to give them something better. I could give them a candy crush clone with SOUL.

I gave a victorian kid some sour patch kids and he sprinkled a little bit of cocaine on it as casually as you would salt before even taking a bite

he was biting the sour patch kids?

Yeah that's how you eat them

i stick them in my mouth whole. am i the weird one or is the victorian kid the weird one? about the biting, not the cocaine. i do that part too.

Do you. At least chew them

yeah i do chew them i just dont feel a need to take a bite out of something that's already bite-sized, yknow? it's like taking a bite out of a skittle, to me. could definitely just be me though

oy where do i get more of these nectar-sweet bastards what are colored like precious stones

fuck OFF thomas

sooooo can yall help me determine if this is a fireable offense

a lady just came in asking if we have oat milk and we dont so i said “our soy milk is pretty good though, thats what i use in my drinks!” and she looked at me and went “yknow soy milk lowers a mans sperm count” and without thinking i just went “cant lose something you never had”

youre laughing. i got called a soy boy and youre laughing

okay to the people confused by this allow me to shed a little light on the subject

icant fucking breathe

world heritage post

sometimes I almost forget slut is a derogatory term. it's so friend shaped to me. I love when things are slutty. I love sluts and slutting it up. it's a cute word. make every day sluttier than your last. sluttttt

the kink bloggers found this post and are putting horny stuff in my notifications but I'm not even mad. the sluts are in the notes of the slut positivity post. all is as it should be.

one time a professor asked me if i’d ever wanted to write anything “more important” than romance. and i said no. i was put on this earth to write about sad people kissing. and if another writer ever came up to me and said they wanted to write 400 pages containing nothing but a character baking a single loaf of bread each day, then i would tell them to do that. people don't write something because it's important. they write about something and that is what makes it important

i saw a license plate this morning that said ‘drgn slr’ which probably means ‘dragon slayer’ but ‘dragon slur’ is funnier. dragon faggot. draggot if you will.

It feels unfair not to show yall the Faggin at this point, this is the dragon the kid was holding

This reads like a jojo villain explaining how their stand works

YOU hate JK Rowling!

i am as white as a white american can get and the thought of using the white color emojis sickens me to the bone. bitch if you dont make me simpsons yellow

a greeting of agreement from my fellow caucasian.

we are the KKK and we are going to murder you and your entire family

just had a random feeling that everything will be awesomesauce

A new study finds that Apple has some of the highest employee turnover rates of any tech company. Google "apple turnover" for more information.