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not funny or deep enough for this shit

@sluttymichaelsword

Im unstable and in my late 20s🤠🤙
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Reblogged theygotlost
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ok wait i just had an idea that could either be very fun and interesting (at least to me) or go horribly off the rails. humor me for a second

consider the following scenario: the owner of a venomous snake commands the snake to bite another person. the victim is brought to a hospital, but is unable to receive antivenom and succumbs to their injuries.

consider the following to be true for the purposes of this case:

  1. the snake is trained, and is able and willing follow commands, such as to bite another party. (practicality of snake training is not germane for the purposes of this case. just pretend)

2. the charges listed above are defined as follows:

  • murder in the first degree: a premeditated, planned act intended to lead to the death of the intended victim
  • murder in the second degree: an act conducted in the heat of the moment (i.e. a crime of passion) intended to lead to the death of the intended victim, or out of a reckless disregard for human life
  • manslaughter, or murder in the third degree: an unplanned, unintentional act that leads to the death of another person. this action can be voluntary (e.g. striking someone with the intent to injure) or involuntary (e.g. a vehicle-pedestrian collision that results in the death of the pedestrian).

3. the owner of the snake is known to have a contentious relationship with the bite victim, and the two have been involved in altercations in the past. family and friends of the victim and the defendant will attest that the two parties did not regard each other as positive acquaintances, and that each considered the other an "enemy." the two parties were seen having a verbal dispute earlier on the day of the crime.

no nuance button, you're on the jury and you gotta cast a vote. but please feel free to expand upon your reasoning in the tags!

#murder in the first but of course youd have tk have proof that it was premeditated otherwise#id inky go for murder in the second#id personally think it was premeditated tho
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Reblogged marxandangels
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The only thing imma say about the new Shrek is that they better show us the fucked up adult versions of Donkey and Dragon’s babies don’t chicken out you Frankensteined those things, you gotta live with the consequences

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