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The real reason Washington got implanted with Epsilon..
(I wanted to post this for Red vs Blue day (April 1st), but I got sidetracked with other stuff, so uh... you can have it now 👍)
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Carolina has a million and one nicknames for Washington, and nobody has context for any of them but they always know who she's talking about Benadryl Cucumber style. She pokes her head in the room like, "Y'all seen Crazy Straw anywhere?" Searching the base up and down for Skater Boy. If she doesn't see Roadkill front and center in five seconds, she's sticking another grappling hook to his balls. They get so ridiculous no one can actually tell if she's fucking with them or not, and Washington doesn't help because he'll respond with a straight face no matter what she calls him. "Flash Drive" Yeah, Boss? "Nuclear Hazard" What's up? "Jetpack Joyride" Yessir? Washington called her Irish Spring once and they wrestled about it for an hour. No one understands, no one tries to, and if Carolina is storming the base looking for Seasame Street, that's Not Their Business.
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Listen. We can all agree that Simmons with a knife is good. He deserves it.
But think about the rest of the iconic weapons of red team. Shotgun. Bruteshot. Grenades. Rocket launcher. Explosive, short range, big chunky weapons of the “fuck you and everyone around you” variety.
Blue team is the team with knives. And swords. And a sniper rifle that never hits anything and an assault rifle that fires confetti. Blue team is allergic to working guns and would just prefer to either play mind games or stab you in the face. A more familiar, personal, battle.
Meanwhile red team is regarding enemy troops as crunchy speed bumps and addressing rpg rounds with “To whom it may concern”
#knife!simmons is important but let us never forget his original weapon: rocket launcher#<-prev tag#god I love how red and blue team are different but complimentary#they fit well together even though they usually work apart#i love them so very much#red vs blue#rvb#knife!simmons#richard simmons#red team#blue team
Reblogged pthalomars
Spin this wheel to get a weapon for a zombie apocalypse.
Reblogged churchyaoi
I'm not dead RvB fandom what's up Heavily inspired by this post by @bill-theboneboy
Werewolf Tuckington au where Tucker's wolf is bigger than Wash's even though Wash is taller than Tucker in human form.
It’s very amusing to Tucker when he finds out, finding every excuse to shift more often just so he can tower over Wash. Wash doesn’t find it amusing.
But Tucker listens almost better in wolf form, and it’s a lot easier to read whether Tucker is actually upset over something or just playing based in the wag of his tail and the perkiness in his ears. Wash has even begin to realize that when Tucker’s ears do this cute little flapping motion in his wolf form, it’s basically the equivalent of an amused scoff in his human one.
Tucker also learns a lot about Wash through his wolf. Learns he’s lazy and easily tired, but will give Tucker a playful nudge or nip if he really bothers him for it. Wash is also much more relaxed as a wolf, still susceptible to growling and sharp barks that have Tucker straightening up like he heard Wash’s commando voice, but he’s softer, at ease. Cuddly, Tucker might even say.
Their size different doesn’t really change their dynamic much all things considered, but Tucker sure does love scruffing Washington in wolf form just to show it off.
(Wash’s tail will wag a little when he does that, though it’s always patting gently against the floor whenever Tucker is around).
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One of my favorite parts about working on CRASH is the diversity of vibes and styles that seem to blend together really well. From serious to silly. Melancholy to uplifting. It's a real challenge to balance these things but the end result is something that feels utterly unique and distinctly authentically Halo -at least in my opinion.