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Pastel Draconic

@spectraloasis / spectraloasis.tumblr.com

Hey, I'm Ray! ﾟ+｡:.ﾟヽ(*´∀`)ﾉﾟ.:｡+ﾟ He/Him Sie/Hir They/Them pronouns, in no particular order, are all ok!! All of my sidebar links are out of date and inaccurate
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Reblogged screamingcrawfish
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The biggest misconception in public schools is that literary analysis is about proving you can be right or wrong about a book you read

Literary analysis isn’t about the book

It’s not even about being right

It’s about performing an investigation and presenting your case to the jury

It doesn’t matter if your defendant killed that guy or not. If you can convince the jury he didn’t, you’ve won

And the incredible life skill of spinning bulletproof bullshit out your ass with a handful of facts and a prayer is soooooooo much more valuable than anyone’s ever gonna tell you

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If the average tweenager knew that good media analysis meant you could force your English teacher to admit that fuckin- (rolls dice) What’s Eating Gilber Grape is a metaphor for (rolls dice again) Why the crack cocaine epidemic is good actually- we would have far better literacy and critical thinking skills as a nation. And I stand by that

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You could develop the magical psychic and illusory power to force the middle aged bitchfuck who makes you raise your hand and beg for permission to take a shit accept the premise that Cocomelon is a subversive and scathing artistic commentary on the pitfalls of modern democracy. Chat GPT essay engines are stealing this from you

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Reblogged inprisonforsparkling
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well that’s the thing though isn’t it? even when you do know how it ends you still think it might turn out this time. I for one know I spent my first time watching the show thinking about how it could be written so that he doesn’t turn around, hoping and wishing and justifying and making excuses. and when he turned around I gasped. I knew it was going to happen but I gasped anyways. because that’s the nature of the story and that’s what makes it so powerful

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isn't this the whole point of the show? we know how it ends and we tell it anyway. how many times have people heard this story over the course of human history, hoping it will end differently, and it doesn't? isn't that incredible?

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Reblogged inprisonforsparkling
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Do not come on my posts with “Black Women Are Superhuman Beings Who Can Handle Anything” takes. That’s a dangerous and reductive rhetoric rife with misogynoir. No, black women cannot take more negative and harmful attacks than other women can. Black women are not primed to withstand more attacks and harassment than women of other races. Stop. That is horrifying. Black women deserve grace, compassion, and a soft place to rest, not constant burdens.

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Reblogged nemesismess
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I enjoy how we talk about ill-conceived cross promotions in major video game franchises like they're wacky hypothetical scenarios as though the original PS1 release of Parasite Eve II didn't have you restoring magic points by drinking Coca Cola way back in 1999.

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If you aren't already familiar with it you will be very surprised to learn what this game is a paid advertisement for.

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A 300-page script, by lead writer and designer Andy Wolfendon, was written and submitted to Mars, which only asked to change a joke, utterances of "damn" and "remove all the snakes from the game." When Braswell asked for clarification, they said that there could be snake-like creatures, but no actual snakes.

...

What?

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Reblogged hanhula
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A friend has once again brought it to my attention that it is unusual to have an intact chronological memory of life prior to age 12 and you know what’s weird to ME is that the rest of yall forgot how to sing the clean-up song

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Other shit:

  1. The crotch-and-chin destroying hell of a toddler’s carseat
  2. How fucking scary stairs are when you JUST figured out walking. “You can stand up” nah fuck that these steps go up to my knees and I’m top-heavy I’m gonna scoot down on my ass thank you
  3. Walking alongside fucking giants whose legs are bigger than your whole fucking body and trying to keep up
  4. Not knowing how to blow your nose and everyone expecting you to just figure it out by holding a tissue and saying “blow” like WHAT DO YOU MEAN CLOSE MY THROAT? Just an absolute snot waterboarding
  5. People describing how to make sounds with your mouth but you can’t see inside their mouth when they do it so you kind of just guess over and over while they tell you you still don’t got it
  6. Not having a full grasp of language but fully understanding CONCEPTS so you say shit like “are we going to the park later?” When you mean TOMORROW but all you can come up with is shit like “the next time we have lunch, not today but after today, after that” like a fucked up game of verbal post-brain injury Pictionary where people won’t let you get mad about it
  7. Just. Mucus. Mucus and chapped skin, all the time, chin and upper lip. And you’re not supposed to lick it cause the spit is the PROBLEM but it’s fucking OBNOXIOUS. “Just keep the skin dry” wow thanks I’ve been aware of this mechsuit for about ten minutes and still haven’t fully mastered not falling into the toilet but yeah I know how to stay on top of that, cool
  8. FALLING INTO THE TOILET
  9. Trying to eat at a table where the surface comes up to your chin but not being able to get high or close enough cause you can’t scoot your chair in and your hands still don’t coordinate good so you end up just spooning tomato sauce onto your lap like an asshole. Like yeah mom my bad, have you considered though that I ALSO don’t want me to be covered in sauce? Cool
  10. Adults being WAY too excited about shit that straight up is not worth the hype
  11. Carpet burn. Constant carpet burn. Crawling, tripping, shuffling between toys on the floor. So much goddamn carpet burn
  12. Knowing exactly what you’re talking about and zero people understanding because they think you’re too dumb for what you’re trying to communicate
  13. Being told to wave at or hug complete strangers. And they always smelled kinda weird but you weren’t supposed to say it
  14. The feeling of meeting an older kid and they act like they’re your manager or something
  15. Encyclopedic knowledge and name of every single person in your grade 1 class, and their interests
  16. Stroller rides. You could zone out at the ground for hours I swear to god
  17. Dropping something while buckled into a carseat or stroller and not being able to get it and just resigning yourself to a life in hell
  18. Dropping something while you’re in a carseat and it goes UNDER YOUR ASS and you can’t fucking GET IT
  19. Other children getting away with just absolute war crimes. Imagine if Sharon showed up to the office potluck and offered you a cookie and after you ate one revealed that she licked it. Imagine if Gord took your stapler and put it down his pants so you couldn’t get it back. Imagine if for no reason at all your coworker told you your dad was stupid and then put your laptop in the garbage
  20. Not remembering what different foods are called and getting pressured into agreeing to food you were NOT FULLY AWARE OF. How the FUCK is a chicken wing different from a chicken strip you ask? “Well, one just has a bone in it!” You fool. You fucking idiot. They might as well be from different animals entirely. But now you gotta eat it cause we don’t waste food (hell)
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Yes I’ve talked about this before and yes I’m going to talk about it again because every single person on earth should be fully and viscerally aware that being a kid feels like every description I’ve ever read of recovering from a stroke and we all grow up and forget and talk about childhood like it was magic.

Yeah some of it was fun and all but don’t you remember FALLING DOWN CONSTANTLY? You don’t remember needing help putting a shirt on cause you got your arm stuck and couldn’t get out and panicked so bad you started crying? You DON’T remember being just CONSTANTLY STICKY? Ohhh my good, pissing yourself. Pissing yourself was the worst. Christ alive, and being put in the playpen with a weird kid

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Why were you falling into the toilet?

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I WAS LIKE TWO FEET TALL

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i remember not being able to reach the sink after using the toilet and being really frustrated about it. or hurting my tummy leaning too far over it with the stool. or busting my chin on the marble sink trying to climb up using the stool.

...hm. i think that sink had it out for me

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Reblogged hanhula
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Fucking amazing example image to choose for the Scunthorpe problem. Just like "here is an example of the problem on the very website you are looking at"

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Reblogged hanhula
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HAPPY ELEVEN YEARS

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[Transcription: Reporter, offscreen: You don't think she did any good? First woman: Not a bit of good, not a bit. I'd put a stake through her heart and garlic round her neck to make sure she'll never come back Reporter: Isn't that a pretty horrible thing to say when her funeral's going on right now? First woman: Too bad. Too bad. Second woman: She pulled the ladder up behind herself and never helped another woman, ever. So she- Reporter, interrupting: But didn't she show that a woman could become prime minister? Nobody'd done that before. Second woman: Do you want a woman like that as a warmonger and rips the heart out her country, is that what you want for a prime minister of any sex? ]

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HAPPY TWELVE YEARS

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🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

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Reblogged inprisonforsparkling
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major-jamie-hill-deactivated201

Slutshaming women is not ok Slutshaming Alexander Hamilton is totally ok Tumblr logic

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klutzmer

he cheated. on his wife.

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forcesense

he’s also been dead for several hundred years this is the funniest post ive ever read in my life

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divinedorothy

fave things about this post:

  • the idea that thousands of people are calling alexander hamilton a slut
  • calling any founding father a slut
  • the idea that people are SHAMING Alexander Hamilton for being Such A Slut he is being SHAMED for being such a naughty little tart, SPREADING HIS LEGS FOR EVERYONE IN CONGRESS
  • that this was probably prompted by people expression dissaproval for Alexander Hamilton cheating on his wife - that the OP thinks “slut shaming” and “Isnt it gross that he cheated on his wife” are the same thing
  • Alexander Hamilton has been dead for 210
  • 210 slutty, slutty years
  • the way that this is presented in such a CHECKMATE SJWS way when they’re talking about a founding father who cheated on his wife and has been DEAD FOR 210 YEARS
  • the fact that the words “Slutshaming” and “Alexander Hamilton” have been used in the same sentence
  • i mean just apply what we’d traditionally think of as “slut shaming” to Alexander Hamilton.
  • His frock coat is too tight, his breaches are so short, have you SEEN how often he powders his wig??? I heard he gave Thomas Jefferson a handy behind the stables AND that he got fingered by John Hancock
  • i barely know who alexander hamilton is
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date of origin: 2014

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The Hamilton discourse extends beyond time.

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celtic-pyro

LMM saw this post and it inspired him to write the Hamilton musical.

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Holy shit it’s the original

210 Slutty slutty years
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