Being a Devils girly is so funny, because once you look into it, the Hells are really just like:
Asmodeus: "Oh, hello. Who are you? You're staring at me--ah, wait, I know what this is. Let me explain: I always look like the most beautiful person anyone's ever seen. Everyone sees something different, I never know who I'm going to look like to people...You don't believe me, I understand. Everyone always thinks I'm lying, and I can never say anything to that. What can you say to someone who thinks you're lying to them? It's okay, I'm not offended...Your person, the one you see in my face, they must be very beautiful, though…I didn't thank you, earlier, for helping me. Noone's ever shown me such kindness before. Who would show mercy to such a dark and terrible creature as myself? You might be the most remarkable person I've ever met...I think we're going to do great things together."
Meanwhile, his asshole Archdevils:
Zariel: *Bursts through your front door.* "YOU, mortal, cowering in the corner. You have been drafted into THE BLOOD WAR. Report to your post IMMEDIATELY for further instruction. DO NOT RESIST. CONSCRIPTION IS MANDATORY AND TRAITORS WILL BE EXECUTED--"
Mammon: HELLO MORTALS. Mammon here, announcing the NEW RELEASE of my special edition MAMMON COIN today! Join this EXCLUSIVE community of INNOVATORS and ENTREPRENUERS, driving towards a NEW AND BRIGHT FUTURE of FINANCE. INVEST NOW at www.mammoncoin.com/ -- Have Fun!
Mephistopheles: "MORTALS. You are FAT, LAZY, UGLY, STUPID, and get NO BITCHES. Unlike me, who is the GREATEST AT EVERYTHING. Do you want to be SIGMA like ME? Do you want to stop being an UGLY, STUPID FUCKASS BETA MALE? You have to get your gains UP. You have to GO TO THE GYM. You have to break the WOKE LIBERAL mind control of these HOES and GO TO THE GYM and BE A MAN. For most of you, listening to this podcast is NOT ENOUGH. My 6-week-long HELLFIRE COURSE will teach YOU the SIGMA MALE GRINDSET, so that you can get RICH, FUCK BITCHES, and finally KILL your BOSS."
Bonus, for my bg3 girlies:
