Reblogged vangoghcore
Source: pangeen
Reblogged safetytank
Did you guys know there's nothing inherently wrong with selfish thoughts and desires and there's no such thing as thought crimes or thought sins and a balanced amount of selfishness is healthy and adaptive for living things to have and it's fine to act selfishly as long as you don't harm others
Let's parse the word "harm" here: asking for things is not harm. mildly inconveniencing others on occasion is not harm. wanting things is not harm. talking a lot is not harm. ordering in a restaurant is not harm. disliking someone is not harm. sexual attraction is not harm. rejecting an unwanted advance is not harm. letting others see unlikable sides of yourself is not harm. you would not believe how many things your parents disapproved of when you were little you've construed as harm are not, in fact, harm
I think maybe our entire societal problem is what I'll call an "abstinence-only" approach to selfishness. We treat all selfishness as if it's inherently bad and harmful and always to be shunned. It's defined as an interior trait; acting selfishly "reveals" who you "are" and so who you "are" must be disciplined. So then some people self-efface themselves into oblivion in an effort to be good, while others resent being controlled and rebel by acting like entitled assholes. Nobody learns how to be selfish safely and ethically and skillfully. Please, send me back in time so I can kill Paul the Apostle with hammers unlearn the idea that goodness is achieved by self-negation
Reblogged thesinisterseventh
[Fictional character who is worse than me in every way] save me
Reblogged thesinisterseventh
Children who feel they cannot engage their parents emotionally often try to strengthen their connection by playing whatever roles they believe their parents want them to. Although this may win them some fleeting approval, it doesn’t yield genuine emotional closeness. Emotionally disconnected parents don’t suddenly develop a capacity for empathy just because a child does something to please them.
People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women alike, often can’t believe that someone would want to have a relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that if they want closeness, they must play a role that always puts the other person first.
— Lindsay C. Gibbon, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (2015)
Reblogged wimsiecal
Reblogged wimsiecal
canipleasehavefood
Reblogged unashamedly-enthusiastic
This makes me weepy for so many reasons:
1. There’s a kid out there already thinking of inclusivity at such a young age.
2. There’s a blind boy who feels more seen and loved and part of his class.
3. The tenderness and consideration that the mom put into creating the special heartfelt felt heart (see what I did there?) for the classmate is so apparent.
4. That boy’s parents must have bawled seeing the valentine their son came home with and knowing that he’s being included and welcomed by his peers.
Reblogged cyanwrites
it is weird that celiac stuff has become part of the 'culture war'. because it's literally just a medical thing.... I get super anemic unless I cut a certain protein out of my diet, because it bulldozes the villi in my intestines. but if I post about it, right-wingers send me gore images. I guess you can't expect shitty people to be logical, but I've even heard lefty people make fun of gluten stuff, and it's like why are you mad about this??? why are you pissed off that I'm eating bread that doesn't taste as good so that I can have blood in my body? it's so morally neutral.
I'm sorry, I know you weren't actually looking for an explanation but I always have a rant about this locked and loaded.
As far as I can tell the reasons that this happens are:
- The interpretation of disability accommodation as wokeness - a lot of the same people who are shitty about food limitations are also shitty about sign language interpreters and ramp requirements (also building regulations relating to the latter) because they view any accommodation as capitulation to a group they think should "suck it up and deal with it" (quietly exist without named or obvious accommodations). The conversations around peanut-free or milk-free classrooms to accommodate children with allergies are similarly unhinged and possibly more horrifying.
- Conflating specialty diets as a result of proximity in the popular consciousness - you're a lot more likely to see something described as "vegan + gluten free" or to see vegan/vegetarian/g-free options grouped on menus than you are to see keto/vegan/gfree options so the "lefty" animal-free diets get grouped with gluten-free (it's also interesting that there are right-wing diets, and I wonder how many of these people remember when you used to be able to find "atkins-friendly" symbols on casual dining restaurant menus)
- Gluten free diets became a fad fifteen years ago; tons of people read "Wheat Belly" and stopped eating wheat as a weight loss hack and when they went back to eating wheat because it's actually pretty difficult to get around a major staple grain they didn't experience any negative consequences; people saw this and basically think that it's a trend, that people are faking medically necessary diets as part of a fad. When questioned about this they always go "but, I mean, it's okay if you REALLY need to skip the wheat because you have a condition but most people are doing it because it's popular" when g-free diets haven't been a major trend for quite a while now. TO BE QUITE FAIR, I think that things like "Gluten Aware" cookies and beer and such, which contain a little gluten but not NO gluten contribute to this perception (these have annoyed me forever for two reasons: 1. They make people without celiac think that a little gluten is fine for people with celiac, which it is not; 2. fucking commit, companies. *I* want the cookies and beer and it's deeply annoying that these business will go to the lengths to create products with minimal gluten but won't actually make g-free foods - this is often because of the risk of cross contamination, they won't claim to make g-free things because they won't work with a dedicated g-free facility)
Anyway, in conclusion: it sucks, I'm sorry.
The fun flipside of this is that I've seen people who are more right wing become aggressively pro regulation and pro accommodation when they or their family members have to suddenly take on the individual burden of making up for a society that doesn't include them by default.
US specific:
Is your ham made with vinegar? Does your ham have the generic word "spices" on the ingredient list? Does your ham include "smoke flavoring"? Does your ham include caramel coloring?
Because malt vinegar has gluten in it. "Spices" may include wheat products in a mix. Smoke flavoring may be made with barley flour. Caramel coloring may be made with wheat or barley syrup.
If the label says "gluten free" that means that the "spices," caramel coloring, vinegar, and smoke flavor are certified to contain 20ppm or less of gluten.
If the ham is cured in any way, it may include gluten. If the ham was marinated, it probably includes gluten. If the ham was prepared in a facility that processes wheat in any way, it might be cross contaminated with gluten.
There's a company out there called "Gluten Free Water" that makes water in plastic bottles, poking fun at the idea that too many things have a gluten free label. I fucking hate that company. Because that company is functionally saying "lol, people are so sensitive and over the top about this, let's be a little silly and laugh about how crazy people can be with their 'gluten free' nonsense."
Did you know that there are sustainable food containers and straws that contain wheat? And that you don't have to label them? There are definitely people with celiac who have been sickened by biodegradable plastic straws in their "obviously water is gluten free there's no risk here" water.
"It's over-labeled so it looks trendy" just means you don't know how foods are made or what foods contain gluten. Gluten is ridiculously common in foods in general, and also in packaged meats.
Your ham has to say gluten free because it distinguishes it from the hams that do contain gluten, which is a fucking lot of them. And you're annoyed that your ham has to say gluten free and I'm annoyed that I'm standing in the grocery store calling a ham company to figure out where they source their caramel coloring so I can figure out if the damned ham is safe to eat.
"lol, oats don't have wheat in them, are people so stupid that they have to be told what is and isn't wheat? why does this oatmeal have a gluten free label?" Cross contamination; gluten free oats are not grown near wheat and are not processed in facilities that process wheat.
"lol, rice doesn't have wheat in it, why is this rice labeled gluten free, all rice is gluten free" Cross contamination; the rice isn't processed on equipment that processes wheat.
"lol why does this turkey breast say gluten free, it's just fucking turkey" read the ingredients on your "just" turkey, lots of packaged meat is packed in broth, some of which contains modified food starch, which may contain wheat.
"lol why are these strawberries labeled gluten free? they're fucking strawberries" WAX, BUDDY. SOME FRUITS ARE COATED IN PRESERVATIVE WAX FILMS BY THE MANUFACTURER AND SOME OF THOSE FUCKING FILMS CONTAIN GLUTEN.
I think that part of the reason that people are so irritated by g-free labels is because it exposes them to just how vast and alienating their food systems are.
"Ham should just be meat from a pig, maybe with sugar and salt; what on earth is happening that there might be wheat in that process? Nothing in that process should involve wheat." And then you might have to think about it for a second, might have to wonder what "sugar" and "salt" mean when someone is producing a million hams to be delivered thousands of miles away. It's not just sugar and salt; it's preservatives and nitrates and batch cooking and getting corn syrup instead of sugar and getting smoke flavoring instead of smoking the ham and turning your "whole food" into all the ingredients that make up the ingredients that make up the ingredients.
A "gluten free" label says "you can eat this" to somebody with celiac disease, who has already pounded their skull against the shittiness of the medical system and the food system.
But to someone who doesn't have to worry that their food is going to disable them, a "gluten free" sticker on ham takes a known quantity and turns their sandwich into a hyperobject that contains animal agriculture and industrial additive production and shipping pollution and the ongoing assault on regulation.
If it doesn't have the label, you can just eat your lunch. If it does have the label, you are haunted by the specter of RFK junior imploding the FDA.
Turns out that everyone in the US with celiac is already constantly haunted by the possible implosion of the FDA because food regulation is an up-close and personal part of our daily lives that most people would rather not think about.
Reblogged the-redwaller
The Sword of Martin the Warrior
Reblogged raccoonmilf
Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!
People are so rude about going to watch the children in their lives do stuff shittily. “Ugh toddler dance recital,” “ugh tee-ball weekend again,” “ugh nativity play.”
That guy learned what skipping is this year and now he’s playing the piano the worst I’ve ever seen but the best he’s ever done! AREN’T YOU CAPTIVATED BY THEIR ABILITY TO DO A LITTLE BIT WHEN PREVIOUSLY THEY COULD DO NOTHING? Be filled with wonder and joy!
#I love the wonder of kids doing something new#even if they're doing it poorly they're DOING IT#because the shame that comes with potentially looking cringe hasn't been beaten into them yet#it's a joy to just experience something you worked hard on#and most people fear failure too much to seek that joy out anymore
Reblogged unashamedly-enthusiastic
Airbnb bathroom in Malta, taken from the wet floor of the shower. Don't like the lip on that shower.
tags pass peer review
Reblogged unashamedly-enthusiastic
real life business text to my real life boss at my real life hollywood gig
Reblogged justamus
i don't know what else to tell you except to be brave and to be kind. take it day by day. go outside and watch the clouds paint the sky. call a friend.
we are still here, and furious. you are still here, and that matters. you can still do and make and be something important. i promise. stay alive. it matters, and you matter. i know it is easy to succumb to anxiety and exhaustion and defeat.
communities can start with tiny ideas. google "dnd meeting near me" or whatever your interest might be. google "volunteering near me." google "support groups near me." start journalling. start a discord. start a book club.
when you close your eyes and hear hamlet, answer his prayer: it's better still to be.
Reblogged unashamedly-enthusiastic
I never had an mri so I never got the pee your pants juice but I did have a camera shoved down my throat and they said the stuff they’re using to numb my throat or whatever will make me hear buzzing/ringing and yeah it sure fucking did. Could barely hear the doc over that shit. Anyway the knockout juice hit soon after and then I was done lol