@stellacadente / stellacadente.tumblr.com
Pinned
here's some links of places you can find me at!
letterboxd / last.fm / musicboard / tidal / storygraph
the dynamic between two people who love a third person so much and come to understand each other because of that is so important to me. you would put them first, and so would i. you understand why we have to save them from themself. i trust you with their life, and so, that means more than if i trusted you with mine. the love doesn't have to be the same, but it's powerful enough that you understand why you're not the only satellite drawn into their orbit.
anyway i suddenly remembered that my mum told me not that long ago that some things a character in a show she watched said about suicide made her understand things better and that hit me when she told me but only for a brief second then i neatly put that aside in my brain and now it's HIT me. and i don't even really know what she meant or what the character said at all bc i haven't watched it
this is also a little bit of a problem when watching house md but not as much bc like.. well first of all it's all more about the personal drama than the medicine lmao and then it's also just. rare diseases and things that are so improbable and wild that they don't touch that personal fucked up relationship i have w hospitals and all things connected to it as much
possibly (possibly) not the best idea to watch the pitt when you kind of probably have medical trauma
i was mostly fine during ep 1 except for one moment when i felt so nauseous i had to stop and take deep breaths but ep 2 was a lot. the kid who overdosed and the mum's reaction that hit a little too close to home. also just the setting of the emergency department is kind of very triggering lmao
the truth is i was never meant to be super into cooking like i'm just not naturally good at it nor do i enjoy it much. but i think i could find it more enjoyable and get better at it if there wasn't all the cleaning afterwards. oh my god i hate kitchen cleaning. the stove needing to be cleaned again. and again. and again. forever. is the worst thing ever for me. i hate washing the dishes and ESPECIALLY pans and pots. cleaning the kitchen sink sucks. cleaning the oven. and the kitchen counter. and throwing away the shit that was discarded during the cooking. I HATE IT ALL WITH A PASSION
and then i get things like feeling completely unlovable and like everyone hates me but while doing the dishes which for some fucking reason just makes the feeling worse
the truth is i was never meant to be super into cooking like i'm just not naturally good at it nor do i enjoy it much. but i think i could find it more enjoyable and get better at it if there wasn't all the cleaning afterwards. oh my god i hate kitchen cleaning. the stove needing to be cleaned again. and again. and again. forever. is the worst thing ever for me. i hate washing the dishes and ESPECIALLY pans and pots. cleaning the kitchen sink sucks. cleaning the oven. and the kitchen counter. and throwing away the shit that was discarded during the cooking. I HATE IT ALL WITH A PASSION
i noticed tumblr doesn't seem to like audios of songs with silence at the end. every single time i try to upload a song that ends in silence (like it's part of the song, i didn't add it) it never works. i tried adding more silence, didn't work (it does sometimes work to get around tumblr's stupidity with audio posts, but not if the song already has silence at the end apparently), i tried eliminating the silence that was already part of the song, still didn't work. horrible website
