oh ok

“Why would you stop in hell?” has changed my brain chemistry

Sometimes I remember that "I'm so fucking normal right now" is a line from disco elysium. like that's such a sentence from a tumblr post to me but no. harry du bois said that. out loud. he would do numbers on here

that poll going around about if you think that anyone has ever had a crush on you and 29% of people voted that in their opinion no one had a crush on them in any grade… like in the gentlest way your self hate has made you delusional. it doesnt matter who you are or what you look like undoubtedly as a human being on this earth at one point someone has been buying what you’re selling. you may not have known but beauty like all art is a deeply personal and variable experience and i promise you somewhere on this green wide earth someone wants to fuck you nasty style. trust and believe in yourself baby girl

you have to open your heart to the idea that whatever you find most unattractive about yourself someone wants you really really bad for

this ones gonna be really hard to hear for some of the folks on tumblr dot com but if you’re not ready to hear this keep your business out of my tags and make your own post . i have no desire to be party to your self hate especially if you’re just going to be cynical and bitchy on a post that is meant to offer you an alternate perspective. keep it moving

babygirl im gonna fuck you until you can walk #divinemiraclepenis

This guy after 7 minutes of thinking about it:

man went through a whole journey in his mind in those 7 minutes. learned new things about himself. this is the most revolutionary 7 minutes of his entire life. he was BORN in those 7 minutes.

candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy

love is stored in the cow

Someone asking me for my hobbies is so humiliating.... I like to play and have fun. I like to smile and draw. I like putting words in an order. Sometimes I laugh and grin.

Okay I’m currently furious that migraines are often so blindly easy to treat and I had to find this out myself at the age of 26 when I’ve been to a neurologist since I was 11 lol so I’m about to teach you two neat and fast little tricks to deal with pain!

The first is the sternocleidomastoid muscle, or the SCM muscle.

This big red section is responsible for pain around the eye, cheekbone, and jaw, as well as some temple pain. Literally all you have to do is angle your head down a little, angle it away from the side that hurts, and then you can gently pinch and rub that muscle. I find it best to start at the bottom and travel upwards. The relief is so immediate! You can increase pressure as you feel comfortable doing so.

Here is a short and easy video showing this in action

The second is a fast and easy stretch that soothes your vagus nerve, which is the nerve responsible for calming you down. The vagus nerve, for those unfamiliar, is stimulated by deep breathing such as yawning, sighing, singing, or taking a deep breath to calm your anger in a tense situation.

You can stretch this out by sitting up as straight as possible (this does not have to be perfect to work) and interlacing your fingers. Put your hands on the back of your head with your thumbs going down the sides of your neck and, while keeping your face forward, look all the way to one side with just your eyes. Hold that until you feel the urge to breathe deeply or yawn, or until you can tell there’s a change. Then do the same thing on the other side. When you put your arms down, you should clearly be able to turn your head farther in both directions. If the first session doesn’t get rid of your migraine, rest and repeat as many times as necessary. I even get a little fancy with it and roll my eyes up and down along the outer edge sometimes to stretch as much as I can.

If you need a visual here’s a good video on it. I know some of the language they use seems questionable but this is real and simple science and should not be discarded because it’s been adopted by the trendy wellness crowd!

I seriously cannot believe I didn’t hear a word of this from any doctor in my life. Additionally, if you get frequent recurring migraines, you may want to see a dietician. Migraines can be caused by foods containing histamines, lectin, etc. and can also be caused by high blood pressure in specific situations such as exercise, stress, and even sex.

If any of this information helps you I’d love to hear it btw! It’s so so fast and easy to do. Good luck!

*currently suffering from a horrible migraine. Tries this*

Are you fucking shitting me it works!?

What. The fuck.

@thebibliosphere here might be the cause of some of your migraines!

It is, actually! My sternocleidomastoid was one of the muscles that tore badly after my chiropractic injury. Rehab is slow going.

gay as fuck to be an evil advisor. it’s just an excuse to lean in real close to another man and whisper in his ear

I'm glad that people are still having fun on tumblr even after we found out about the frightening ghoul that reblogs posts but doesn't say anything

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Use "said" for dialogue unless you are writing a man talking, in which case use "whimpered"

*first time using gay slang* you look like you're wearing a wig!! and you look like a cunt!!!